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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To casually neglect visiting children?

26 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 19:51

I don't actually invite these children. They just turn up and then don't go home.

I have man flu and can't be arsed. They had lunch from the shop. God knows what. I gave them a tenner and sent them on their way. They did have strawberries, so they had at least one of their five a day.

They then played out in the rain and got soaked. I tipped some milk and hot chocolate powder into a pan and advised them to put their own clothes in the dryer and get changed into some of my dc's pjs while they were waiting. After the rain stopped they played in the street in the pjs.

One of them has just been collected by her parent. He found her sitting on our doorstep eating deep fried spring rolls I ordered for them when I remembered I hadn't fed them any dinner.

This is not too bad is it? Remembering I don't arrange, nor agree to have these children with me all day, I don't mind, but when I'm ill they will be left to run feral.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 19/07/2014 19:54

Sounds like my DD's idea of heaven

Get well soon

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 19:54

Also when I'm not ill, they will be left to run feral, but I will cook for them while they are here if I can find them anyway

OP posts:
mommy2ash · 19/07/2014 19:56

you are doing better than me, i would have sent them home if i was ill

Fairylea · 19/07/2014 19:56

And these are kids you haven't invited??

I'd just say no and tell them to hop it :)

Dd (11) only gets to have friends round if she's cleared it with me first... ie not on the day. I can't stand people popping in and out.

iklboo · 19/07/2014 19:56

You know they will remember this as the BEST DAY EVER, right?

Get well soon. Wine

Purplepoodle · 19/07/2014 19:58

Er just send them home at meals times to if they want snacks

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 20:01

No I didn't invite them, they just called on dd1 and then stayed.

I've had to go to work at lunchtime, otherwise they would have been sent home because I'd have been in bed having not gotten out of bed since last night I can't be arsed to get ready to go to bed now, so I'm just gonna sit feeling sorry for myself instead Grin

They often turn up and are normally welcomed and well fed and controlled to a certain degree, although there's normally an element of running riot involved.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 19/07/2014 20:04

I read that thinking you were joking and they were actually your children Grin I was nodding along thinking you weren't being unreasonable Grin

What kind of ages are they?

They must be OK with it or they'd go home wouldn't they? And their parents must be OK with it or they'd stop them coming round.

It'd do my head in so I'm in awe of your patience.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 19/07/2014 20:05

It sounds like every time I have children round whether invited or not.

You need to be cautious about having random children foisted on you for entire days as some parents will abuse the privilege (learnt from bitter experience) I find occasional unavailability keeps them on their toes.... Although I do appear to have a house full of children most of the time!

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 20:07

They are all 10 and live locally, they're allowed to wander down to our house unsupervised but must let their parents know if they are going to be late, which I did remember to remind them to do. I just forgot to cook the kebabs and rice salad for dinner.

OP posts:
LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 19/07/2014 20:14

Can I come and play? It sounds like a fantastic day was had by the kids. If the other parents don't like it, then they need to get organised with their own childcare and not expect you to entertain and care for their kids without asking you first.
I bet you are known as the cool mum on the street!

frames · 19/07/2014 20:15

How adorable. Any mother posting this tale would have been eaten alive by caustic warnings of imminent social services in put.

zeezeek · 19/07/2014 20:19

I'm tempted to send my two over to you!!

Get well soon.

BlahBlahYeahYeah · 19/07/2014 20:21

ee by gum lass, if this is you on a bad day.....! Grin

JudysPriest · 19/07/2014 20:48

"Any mother posting this tale would have been eaten alive by caustic warnings of imminent social services in put."

Isn't Dooin a Mother? Am I missing something? How do you know they are a father?

AgentZigzag · 19/07/2014 20:50

I thought the OP was a man until I looked at her name and recognised her as a she, it's probably the man flu bit in the OP Judys?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 20:54

It's definitely man flu I have. Must be a new strain that can infect women also Grin

I'm not ill enough to not be able to get out of bed, so it's not actual flu, but I am way more ill than just a bad cold and ibuprofen does little to help, ergo it is man flu Grin

I'm wondering if wine will cure it or if I should just go to bed. Seems a shame to waste a perfectly good Saturday evening to illness.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 19/07/2014 20:57

Try whisky rather than wine? Always nice to stick to the traditional remedies.

x2boys · 19/07/2014 20:58

I think you are marvellous feeding uninvited kids can I send my two round they are no bother honest !!

AgentZigzag · 19/07/2014 20:59

I've heard chocolate, crisps and cake are good for all lurgies.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 21:03

I don't like crisps or cake Shock Chocolate I can manage and whisky is good.

I might have chocolate and whisky for my dinner. They didn't save me any spring rolls Sad

OP posts:
RockinHippy · 19/07/2014 21:05

Wow, you are patient, I think most parents would think you were a saint for doing that, anyone thinking it's not enough wants there head looking

I bristled at an extra one, who has never been here before trying to barge her way into our house uninvited yesterday - she had followed DDs friend who was invited - she literally pushed me out if the way to get in - I let her use the loo as when stopped she insisted that's what she was here for - I didn't like her manners, so sent her packing

So compared to me, you are a saint

backbystealth · 19/07/2014 21:07

I'm not ill and have six children here aged between 10 and 13 with my three dc.

My arse has not left the sofa for hours.

They know where the fridge, telly and trampoline is. It's summer, they're safe, who cares?

Hope you feel better soon.

x2boys · 19/07/2014 21:18

I actually found some grouse whiskey flavoured chocolate when we were on holiday at butlins that was nice and I,m not a big chocolate or whiskey fan! Hot whiskey toddies are nice though .

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 19/07/2014 21:34

mmmm... whisky flavoured chocolate Grin

I'm going to put the kebabs in the oven and find some alcohol then I'm going to bed.

OP posts:
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