To think London is an ok place to bring up dcs?

[longestlurkerever]

I live in London. I am lucky enough to own a house with a small garden near a big park in zone 2 and have enough flex in the budget to cover tube tickets, regular cheap days out and the occasional more expensive one as a treat. Lots of my friends and colleagues are looking to leave London, saying they wouldn't want to bring up children in London, in a tone that makes it sound like it would be borderline neglectful to stay. I guess if we were going to move (either further out to somewhere more rural but with a commute in for work or to properly delicate) then now while dd is still small would be the best time to do so (she is turning 3) but I am not sure I want to.

There is so much to do with young dcs here, often free or cheap. This week we have been to the South Bank to play in the fountains, on the temporary slides and at the fake beach, to a free toddler cycling club and associated awards ceremony with free drinks and goodie bags, to three separate parks with big paddling pools, sand pits and zip wires, to an nct event with free face painting and taster classes of dancing and theatre, to the woods for play camping with tents and hammocks (that was with nursery) and we are just about to go to an abandoned railway line for Blackberry picking followed by the city farm. Over the last few weeks we have been to four museums and two puppet shows not to mention lots of birthday parties in parks and on the heath. Neighbours and I are building a communal play area on the railway land behind our houses nd have applied for the road to be closed off once a month for a 'play street'.

Admittedly all of these activities are a bit 'urban'. The toddler cycling is on an unlovely estate with boarded up flats and the blackberry picking is along a nature reserve interspersed with graffitied railway arches. I sometimes worry about all the pollution in London but overall I think dd is having fun, making friends and experiencing lots of different things that she maybe wouldn't do in a village. Is it ok that she isn't drinking in beautiful scenery and bounding through fields? I love the seaside and we are off to Wales on holiday next week. Sometimes I dream of living by the sea but tbh feel a bit lost in the countryside, esp in bad weather, and put dd in a field without other children and a playground and she looks a bit bemused.

So aibu to bring dd up in London? Am I being hopelessly naive to think I can steer her away from gangs and crime as she gets older, or to think that the countryside has its problems too? She will be going to state schools - they are fairly decent where we live. I grew up in a town but a much smaller one.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

I was going to say surely Brighton is pretty vibrant and on the seaside? There are lots of towns on the seaside and not in Cornwall and Devon. (Which I assume is the ones you think as more 'retirement' like).

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

If you can avoid having a long commute to work for you and / or DP I think that's a huge bonus. You do get more for your money in terms of houses and gardens if you move out of London / to the 'burbs but the long commute can certainly take the shine off that...

[unlucky83]

I think people get hung up on 'I would earn a lot less money outside London' - there is a very good reason for that.
You can have a much better lifestyle for much less money outside London...
In Scotland
We bought our house here 15 yrs ago (after moving up from London) - three bedrooms, gardens, beautiful views. It was a bit more expensive because it is in a 'sought after location' - 5 mins walk from an excellent primary, local amenities withing walking distance - garage, post office, hairdressers, restaurants/pubs/cafes, Library, small supermarket & 2 small shops, bank, opticians, doctors, chemist. Easy commute to work in the city (10-15 min drive- no congestion) Free on street parking etc ...we paid £54,000.
My old flatmate bought at the same time - a one bedroom & a box room ex council flat on one of the roughest estates in South London he paid £110,000 (10-15 min walk to the nearest tube!)
So our housing costs were less than half ...and what we had was much nicer...
At the time we were looking there was a 3 bedroom ex-council flat in one of the roughest areas of the local city for sale £15,000!

I dreaded leaving London (this was pre DC) - no 24 hr supermarkets or Pizza delivery ! I only came to work here with someone specific - but I was sure I was going to hate it!

I could wax lyrically how fantastic it is where I live now, city is 5 miles away - lots of buses - cinemas, ice rink, museum, science museum, art centre, animal park etc etc.
Countryside/river/ beaches on our doorstep - sailing lessons are a 5 min walk away (in fact DP has a boat!) Horse riding and stabling - quite a bit of choice - nearest is a 1 mile away... children are pretty safe out and about - can cycle to eg the Library on the pavement/road no problems - go blackberrying in a couple of places all within easy walking distance...
Beautiful surroundings - I often look at the views and think I am incredibly lucky to live here ...

(Should say I grew up in a large village, near big towns, left home at 17 and lived in quite a few places before moving to London. I loved London for the first few years but after 12 years I was getting tired of the greyness and filth... )

[ladypete]

YANBU OP!

I was raised in Zone 2 London and plan to do the same with any future DC.

There is so much to do, so much culture to experience and so many opportunities. It's highly likely I wouldn't have had the opportunity to train in my field had I not lived in London as a child, and if it's any consolation I have never been caught up in gangs/drugs etc and am by no means a prude or hermit!

I think getting mixed up in those things comes down to stupidity really. Of course there may be more opportunity to come across it in a city such as London, but if your DD grows up with her head screwed on and priorities straight she'll be absolutely fine

[LindaMcCartneySausage]

YANBU. London is amazing for families! We chose to bring our DCs up in central London. Our jobs are here and while we have a yard, not a garden and we live in a poky 3 bed terrace, not a 5 bed detached executive home with en suites aplenty that I dare say we could purchase in the 'burbs, our kids have a far better quality of family life. We don't trundle 1.5hrs each way on overcrowded, delayed trains paying £3.5k each for a season ticket to get home after they've gone to bed. We both get home for bath time every night because our commute is 5 min cycle, which is free and healthy.

London is a great place for children to grow up. I grew up in a 'naice' but v dull town that was rife with drugs and one bus an hour to the big smoke.

[NotYouNaanBread]

I was brought up in a capital city and we live in a town at the moment, albeit a slightly fancy & v. culturally rich one, and I'm BORED. I would know what to do with children every minute of the day if we lived somewhere proper.

Or if we lived in the wilds somewhere, I suppose, and it was all swimming in the sea and horse riding etc (which is exactly what we're doing next year!).

But this exodus to the villages of Cotswolds upon reproduction is baffling to me.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I don't think there is anywhere in the UK that isn't an OK place to raise children.

It's more about how you do it than where you do it, surely?

DH was brought up in inner city Birmingham (minutes walk to the city centre) and has only happy memories of his childhood. He certainly doesn't wish he'd grown up anywhere more rural.

I think with London in particular though, people often feel that they can't afford to live in a big enough house, close enough to good schools etc. etc. and manage to convince themselves that they need to live elsewhere to afford to do those things.

Personally, I am not a city person and wouldn't choose to live in one. Not because I think it's unsuitable for children though.

[longestlurkerever]

I am a lawyer by trade but work in the civil service, which suits me down to the ground as it's less pay than the city but challenging, enjoyable and I can work flexibly. Civil service departments do exist out of London but it's not the same - you'd be stuck in one department for the rest of your career and would be very vulnerable if it relocated. The most realistic prospect is Edinburgh I think, as it has its own Government with a variety of Government law jobs, but it would require a bit of retraining and a move away from friends and (some) family (the rest are in the North of England). It's our back pocket plan if all our friends abandon us for the burbs! DH works in the civil service too but has local government experience which I suppose is more portable.

[HeyBabyBaby71]

I think the only things preventing families from living in London is the price of property. So, if you are a homeowner- sorted!

[longestlurkerever]

Cheltenham is the other place that vacancies get advertised but not sure I want to be a spy!

[meadowquark]

I live in zone 4 and I consider myself Londoner - perhaps because London is expanding, or perhaps my commute is only 12 mins to my work in the City. It does not feel remote by any means.
I feel I should be grateful and I have a house (mortgage) and DC are in decent schools, green parks around, convenience shops, well connected, lots to do etc. However I grew up in a small sized capital city in another country and I do feel London is too big for me. Too many people, too diverse, too polluted, too much of buzz. I also would rather let my DC roam free around the house rather than having multiple supervised days out. Something like Cambridge or Brighton would be the right size for me, but the commute to work would be unberable. I am stuck with what to do.

Another thing that I don't like in London is the train-like identical Victorian houses (in one of which I live - row of 18 houses) with overlooked gardens and virtually no space for an eye to wander.
I miss sense of space, greenery, views from my windows.

It looks like a personal preference for most. I understand the appeal but would like to get out myself.

[longestlurkerever]

You sound unhappy meadow and should look at alternatives. Personally I like those rows of terraced houses - walking back from the city farm I saw our house nestled in among the others against a backdrop of trees (the railway line is actually quite tree-lined!) and it looked all cosy - it gave me a nice warm glow. But if you don't like it you don't like it and where you live is something you can change if you really want to.

[OnlyLovers]

'too diverse'.

What does THAT mean?

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

'too diverse' .... that's the bit I like about London. I'd love DD to go to a diverse school but the one here are all very middle class and white English. I'm foreign so I'm afraid DD might end up being the odd one out as she's mixed race.

[unlucky83]

onelittle true about where my DCs go to school - mainly white middle class (three asian children - 2 families) and mine are mixed race (half Arabic) but they have never had a problem....
And at high school it is more diverse and the city (not where they go to school) is quite diverse too...so not really worried too much about it ...
Also we are near 3 universities...so isn't too inbred...

(I did work somewhere in Cheshire at about 18-19 - right in the middle of the countryside so lived in. Did find a lot of the locals were a 'bit odd' - but contrary to what others have said - no drugs - lots of drink though - Came across more drugs in London - 'posh' real drug culture (cocaine), ecstasy, speed...and lots of cannabis use...
(As well as living next door to a less salubrious drug dealer ...who was nice enough - and actually a good place to live - never burgled etc and others further along the street were - I think a case of not wanting any police attention on the doorstep ...)

[whois]

longestlurkerever totally going to the wrong place for blackberries - Parkland walk doesn't have enough sun for super sweet blackberries. Get yourself over to the lee valley :-)

[FreudiansSlipper]

London is a fantastic place to bring up children I would never move away

so much history, culture, diversity, parks, commons all on our doorstep and many outings can be done very cheaply especially in the summer with all the festivals going on

many great schools (not enough should be more)

[wearenotinkansas]

I think London is a brilliant place to bring up kids, especially now the schools are so much better. Wish we had never left. It was so much easier to find things to do with dd then. And there are so many different communities and groups, it's never dull.

The only downside is the air pollution. I really notice it now when we go back to visit.