To think London is an ok place to bring up dcs?

[longestlurkerever]

I live in London. I am lucky enough to own a house with a small garden near a big park in zone 2 and have enough flex in the budget to cover tube tickets, regular cheap days out and the occasional more expensive one as a treat. Lots of my friends and colleagues are looking to leave London, saying they wouldn't want to bring up children in London, in a tone that makes it sound like it would be borderline neglectful to stay. I guess if we were going to move (either further out to somewhere more rural but with a commute in for work or to properly delicate) then now while dd is still small would be the best time to do so (she is turning 3) but I am not sure I want to.

There is so much to do with young dcs here, often free or cheap. This week we have been to the South Bank to play in the fountains, on the temporary slides and at the fake beach, to a free toddler cycling club and associated awards ceremony with free drinks and goodie bags, to three separate parks with big paddling pools, sand pits and zip wires, to an nct event with free face painting and taster classes of dancing and theatre, to the woods for play camping with tents and hammocks (that was with nursery) and we are just about to go to an abandoned railway line for Blackberry picking followed by the city farm. Over the last few weeks we have been to four museums and two puppet shows not to mention lots of birthday parties in parks and on the heath. Neighbours and I are building a communal play area on the railway land behind our houses nd have applied for the road to be closed off once a month for a 'play street'.

Admittedly all of these activities are a bit 'urban'. The toddler cycling is on an unlovely estate with boarded up flats and the blackberry picking is along a nature reserve interspersed with graffitied railway arches. I sometimes worry about all the pollution in London but overall I think dd is having fun, making friends and experiencing lots of different things that she maybe wouldn't do in a village. Is it ok that she isn't drinking in beautiful scenery and bounding through fields? I love the seaside and we are off to Wales on holiday next week. Sometimes I dream of living by the sea but tbh feel a bit lost in the countryside, esp in bad weather, and put dd in a field without other children and a playground and she looks a bit bemused.

So aibu to bring dd up in London? Am I being hopelessly naive to think I can steer her away from gangs and crime as she gets older, or to think that the countryside has its problems too? She will be going to state schools - they are fairly decent where we live. I grew up in a town but a much smaller one.

[longestlurkerever]

Doh, sorry, also the geffrye museum is good I hear. Lots on for schoolchildren in the holidays.

[unlucky83]

Children at the school I used to work at went to the Horniman for a trip - 6-7 yr olds - they all came back v. excited - there was a three legged cat in the park
(Apparently it was quite famous in the area - but I guess it will no longer be with us now!)
And seriously - yes it is supposed to be good...

[autumnsmum]

The geffrye museum is beautiful but maybe better for adults than children , the William Morris gallery in walthamstow has some puppets and is a nice park
With a cafe

[Karoleann]

We lived in London up until a couple of years ago (and had the terrace house with a small garden too).

We moved out to a village in Bucks and everyone's life is much easier....we have more space, we can cycle to places, generally everyone else is much calmer - it feels like we have nice proper neighbours. There's less crime, the schools are better and we can actually drive to places without sitting in a traffic jam for hours.
The parks nearby are infinitely better than those in London, quieter, more imaginative.
We can still get to central london within 30 minutes on the train. We go to the theatre or a nice restaurant in town 2-3 x a month. DH's commute is a little longer - but he prefers it too.

We'd consider getting a flat in London when we're older.
But life is so much better here.

[EATmum]

I was looking at school statistics the other day for Southwark and Lambeth for a report at work. The results were really good. I think the stereotype of inner city schools doesn't correlate with their performance.

[Glittery7]

London is a perfectly nice place to bring up children if you have a better than average salary.

[PlasticPinkFlamingo]

Agree with Glittery7, although you can have a nice life with less cash if you live in a large enough council / HA property or bought your place ages ago.

We had a fantastic London weekend with DC - fair in a nearby park, festival at a local nature reserve 10 minutes walk from our house, play at the local playground. But we live in a green neighbourhood with good schools and own a house, albeit one with a small London backyard. That doesn't matter so much as there's a park behind our house.

Horniman Museum is great. Like the Geffrye Museum but whilst it's got some kid friendly areas, the exhibitions themselves won't entertain young kids.

[longestlurkerever]

Karole Your life sounds nice. I am glad you are happier but can I ask if you are a SAHM or work locally to home? I can't imagine my life improving by adding a hefty commute which is why I think if we do ever move it would be to another city. Edinburgh appeals, but I would lose all my friends in London!

[VampireSquid]

I love the Geffrye museum- it's very relaxing and peaceful. I only went to my nearest 'museum'/posh house a bit ago, in a nearby park. There's always stuff to do.

[writtenguarantee]

Your life sounds nice. I am glad you are happier but can I ask if you are a SAHM or work locally to home? I can't imagine my life improving by adding a hefty commute which is why I think if we do ever move it would be to another city. Edinburgh appeals, but I would lose all my friends in London!

both DP and I work full time in jobs that are difficult to get outside of London, so we would need to keep them. If we both commuted 1.5 hours each way it would be impossible.

[SocialMediaAddict]

I grew up in North London and I'm now bringing up my children here. I'm lucky enough to have a garden. Saturday we spent the day by the outdoor pool at my gym, yesterday we went to Kew Gardens. Wednesday we'll do some of the museums.

London is expensive though. Friends out of London are always shocked what I pay for swimming lessons/gym membership etc and the mortgage we pay for a very bog standard house. I couldn't live anywhere else. My kids are lucky that our closest primary school and secondary school are both outstanding so we didn't need to move to get in.

[autumnsmum]

We live in London and I'm on carers allowance , I've always been amazed at how much free stuff there is to do, when I grew up in the Home Counties admitedly many years ago there was nothing

[LittleBearPad]

You have a house and a garden in zone 2. There is no way many can afford these things. And you might feel differently about swapping the garden for the park if you didn't have one.

[BubblegumBrigade]

I absolutely loathed growing up in the countryside. It was utter, utter, mind numbing shit.

Between about 7 and 10, I guess it was ok (we were quite privileged and had horses and large grounds etc). But from then til I left for university it was like being in a low security prison.

My secondary school in a little market town served the numerous satellite villages outside it. I lived about 5 miles away on one side of it, my best friend about six miles away on the other side. So I lived eleven miles away from my best mate. Other friends similarly scattered. No buses after 6pm so dependent on lifts (and my parents weren't mad keen on that, as they liked their wine) and phone calls for social contact. Fuck all to do on the evenings, ever. Except drink warm cider in someone's back garden.

I got out the week after I turned eighteen and I am never, ever, going back. Even driving to visit my parents now brings me out in a panicky suffocating feeling. I am so glad my DCs live in London, their lives are already a trillion times fuller and more interesting than mine was at their age.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

Eatmum that's so true about schools - we're in Southwark and have just been through the whole secondary application process for the second time in 3 years. Of the 9 schools the DCs put down, six were rated as outstanding and the other three as good. It's a total myth that london schools are awful, they've improved beyond recognition in the last ten years.

[longestlurkerever]

You say that little but actually this is the first year I have had a usable garden as it has been a building site till now and it is nice and I am lucky but it is not life-changing, same as moving from a flat to a house was nice but I was happy in the flat too. Dd needs a lot of entertaining when on her own - the park is something I couldn't live without as she just lights up in the company of other children.

[BsshBosh]

YANBU

We live in London raising our DD here with no problems. We love it and make the most of everything the Capital has to offer (just like the OP).

But we earn very well.

IME the friends who leave London are those who can't afford to move into a bigger house or into a house at all as their family grows.

[BsshBosh]

Bubblegum my DH & I had the exact same experience growing up in the countryside: lovely when in primary school but awful when I hit 11 yo. We're city dwellers all the way now.

[Deluge]

Grew up in London (Zone 2, quite a 'gritty' area) and bringing my kids up here (albeit Zone 4 and a bit more naice/suburban). Would never leave. I get twitchy in small towns and although I love the country and the sea, I would feel isolated, I think.

The majority of our friends who have left London post-babies arriving haven't really done so because they don't want to bring their kids up here - they've left because of the ridiculous and prohibitive cost of housing.

[longestlurkerever]

I think the other factor people are missing is that yes I earn pretty well (not the stellar salary some are assuming but I am happy with it) but that might actually not be the case if I had established my career outside of London. Both my parents were graduates too but I earned as much in my first job as my mum was earning close to retirement in a Northern town. Obviously that doesn't help those who are looking to move from the North into London later in life but it is demonstrably true that the economy is better here. My job doesn't really exist to the same extent outside London and despite my professional qualifications I would probably end up working full time for less money if I moved elsewhere. But anyway, the point of my thread was not to say everyone should up sticks and move to London - rather do I need to be afraid of bringing my pfb dd up in the big smoke and sending her to London schools as a lot of people who are financially better off than me often seem to imply? Thank you for all the responses - lots to think about but I think the consensus is that ianbu.

[Runningforfun]

I lived in the countryside for a time and vowed never to get pregnant whilst living there.

I am with Bubblegum there is nothing there. there is only so many sheep, cows and fields you can make a child look at before they become bored. And as for cost of things we found ourselves £350 per month better off when we moved to north London from The Cotswold.

The fields were great to take a bottle of cider or to partake in something stronger.

I can honestly say ds and dd don't have time for drink or drugs or being bored London offers more for children and teens and adults for free than anywhere else we have lived in England.

[autumnsmum]

I think your being totally reasonable , thousands of children grow up in London and are v happy

[longestlurkerever]

Jaded now that does sound fab - I can certainly see myself in a vibrant seaside town with watersports etc more than I can see myself as a SAHM in the stockbroker belt but I just can't see how we would pull it off. All those people on relocation relocation buying a million pound mansion which they're planning to fund with a part time pottery business working from home leave me . There was a thread on here a while back giving a reality check to those who dream of life by the sea - citing the economy, the winter, bored teens and it sounded so risky to me. Despite the impression I may have given I do not have huge assets to fall back on and my dh does not earn enough to support us all, even assuming he found a comparable job by the sea. Hour for hour I am actually the main breadwinner in our household. I think we might have to save the seaside dream for holidays, or retirement.