to ask if there are any reception/yr 1 teachers who want to give me some advice?

[donefornow]

Dd is a chair humper (sorry no nicer way to put it)
She's going into yr 1 after the summer. She knows it's not ok in private and iv not personally seen her do it since she was about 3 but she will do it at school where I can't tell her to stop it.
We've had every talk under the sun about privacy etc and iv tried everything from a calm collected consistant reminder to losing my rag over it entirely (not proud of myself)
She says she understands me when I tell her it's only for doing in private but she still does it...
Any advice on how to get her to stop?
P.s no underlying health issues.

Not ok in public* sorry

What has her teacher said to you?

It's not that unusual - usually a gentle reminder or a nudge from a TA stops them.

It isn't unusual. Talk to her new teacher in September. Yr 1 will probably be more formal than her EY reception class, less opportunity for her to be working independently and more teacher/TA monitoring.

Teachers not mentioned it, but if I ask dd how her day went and has she been good etc just general chit chat she always says yes but I did forget to not rub on my chair.... She's very open about it, doesn't seem too embarrassed.. I was hoping she would grow out of it.

Has she got any other social issues? If not then I really wouldn't worry overmuch. If she has other sensory or social issues then I'd be seeking some more assistance.

What should I say to the teacher? I'm going to be completely honest I have no idea how to approach it. I know it's rediculous as I'm an adult but the whole idea of the conversation makes me uncomfortable.

No social or sensory issues that iv noticed.. what would I be looking out for?

My DD seems to have stopped doing this now. She's at the end of year 1 but earlier in the year told me that she would never do it at school but sometimes other girls do so I don't think it's that uncommon and that the teacher will have seen it all before!

Glad I'm not alone, to be honest u do remember doing it as a child myself and I was probably older but remember stopping sharpish if my mum walked in my room and would never have done it at school.
I'm more worried that she doesn't seem to understand the social boundary of the privacy than what she's actually doing.
More of a where not what she's doing.

Well that's what you're looking out for...a lack of boundaries and perhaps some issues forming friendships...trouble with clothing or food textures. Do any of those things ring a bell?

No, not really. She's very tactile and understands other social boundaries very well. Not bothered about clothes or textures... Will eat absolutely anything/everything.

Just done a quick search on here for related topics abd found loads of similar threads so at least I'm not alone.
Actually had a good laugh at some of the things that had been posted, has cheered me up to see dd us normal!

I have to say, a number of children I have come across were not in the least bit subtle!

Boys are easy to detect as they have their hands down their trousers. The most obvious girl was the one that used the corners of tables...

I think it's a brushed off subject with boys "oh boys and their toys" type of comment but seen as something sinister in girls.
Dcs grandparents find it utterly hilarious when Ds (13 months) sits pulling and poking his Willy but where horrified when dd humped a chair when she was about 2.5
I think more awareness for parents would help , no one warned me how to deal with this

I had one in a Y1 class, and there was a girl in y2 who constantly had her hands down her pants. It's reasonably common although not talked about until you get one in your class IME. We used to say "sit still" or "hands where I can see them please". If you have a quiet word with her teacher it will stop her noticing it and worrying about telling you!!

Thanks rabbit, I am sure she will grow out of it soon but it's just such an awkward thing to approach, with both dd and the teacher. I don't want to give dd any bad hang ups and don't want to make to big a deal if it with the teacher so she's actually looking for it iyswim.
Maybe it will fizzle out over the summer as she's not at school. Will see how she gets on in Sept and go from there.

Hi, kids often do this type of thing in reception or year 1. We always say general things like 'cross your arms' etc. Teachers try not to draw everyone else's attention to it. Girls often have hands in knickers on carpet etc. I wouldn't say anything to teacher. Your daughter probably senses your personal angst about it and this reinforces it. Kids are great like that.

Hi, kids often do this type of thing in reception or year 1. We always say general things like 'cross your arms' etc. Teachers try not to draw everyone else's attention to it. Girls often have hands in knickers on carpet etc. I wouldn't say anything to teacher. Your daughter probably senses your personal angst about it and this reinforces it. Kids are great like that.

Thanks joolsali I supposei will just have to wait this one out! Kids ay!