Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about the couple who 'should' have been on flight MH17?

124 replies

JaneFonda · 18/07/2014 12:34

In the news, the British couple and their baby who swapped off flight MH17 to take another one instead.

In the interview, they said that 'someone must have been watching over them'.

AIBU to find this incredibly disrespectful? I feel so angry that they are suggesting that 'someone' or a God or something was watching over them, but not over the 298 people who died.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/07/2014 12:48

They are a couple of ordinary people trying to process something enormous and awful and they fell back on hackneyed phrases because that's all their brain could cope with. If you'd just missed dying with your child would you really have a coherent philosophical argument lined up.

I would imagine that they do feel like some of the luckiest people on earth today. That doesn't mean that they don't give a damn about the people who died.

MrsCakesPremonition · 18/07/2014 12:49

I had exactly the same reaction when I saw them on the news last night.
I realise that they were very emotional and being interviewed on TV, but it was just such a ill-phrased response and tactless in the extreme for the families of the people who died.

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/07/2014 12:50

They must be in shock and feel guilty.

Knowing someone else got swapped with you who have just been murdered must leave them with emotions they don't know how to process.

TheSpottedZebra · 18/07/2014 12:50

This rather highlights the flaw in religion, doesn't it?

Agree that they were just blethering a bit, but who wouldn't - they are in shock and surrounded (at Schipol) by mourners and press looking for someone that they can talk to.

TenMinutesEarly · 18/07/2014 12:51

I think Yabu. I have just found out that someone I know was on the plane. The family who changed flights were very lucky and obviously in shock. I'm sure all the relatives and friends of the deceased realise that.

If we should be annoyed at anyone it's the camera crews.

rose202 · 18/07/2014 12:51

I see what you mean, although to me as non-engager in all religions I'd think more of a guardian angel type thing or perhaps a family member who has already passed rather than a God. So if one of the couple had lost their mother say, they could have meant the mother was protecting them not a god.

I suppose the phrase does inherently mean 'I am more important than you as x is protecting me & not you' but I think in this case we should concentrate on the feeling behind the words (of relief & a sense of luck) & not analyse the words themselves iyswim

coffeeinbed · 18/07/2014 12:52

I thought it was insensitive.
YANBU.

They are lucky to be alive, all the best to them,
But so many others aren't.

TenMinutesEarly · 18/07/2014 12:52

*re the reporting. Ultimately the bastards that shot the plane down are where any anger should be aimed.

firesidechat · 18/07/2014 12:53

I can't believe that you watched that on tv and your first thought was anger, instead of "oh how lovely and poignant that this one young family didn't have to die in such a horrible way".

And then feel impossibly sad about all the people who did die.

YABmassivelyU.

owlbegoing · 18/07/2014 12:53

What I find is disrespectful is when the reporters describe it as a tragic accident...No it wasn't it was a wanton act of murder!
A plane being shot out of the sky is not an accident!

MildDrPepperAddiction · 18/07/2014 12:53

Oh fgs! They could have been killed. It's something people say. It's not intended to offend. I think you need to find something actually worth worrying about.

rinabean · 18/07/2014 12:53

They have the right to their emotions, they nearly died. Their little baby nearly died. Your outrage and "sympathy" are both fabricated for your own enjoyment. If you were genuinely sympathetic about the whole affair you would be concerned for them because of the shock, the press intrusion, the survivor's guilt.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 18/07/2014 12:54

Good point about the camera crew.

WTF were they doing interviewing them?

a) They were in shock
b) It's insensitive to the people they swapped with
c) Interviewing them was generally unnecessary

CornChips · 18/07/2014 12:55

I think what Chaz says above explains it perfectly.

TBH, my disgust is reserved for the slobbering media types - who are also undoubtedly feeling shock and grief and horror, I know- but who think it's okay to shove cameras into peoples faces to capture those emotions in other people. That feels disrespectful to me.

firesidechat · 18/07/2014 12:55

They might even have meant God. Who cares.

Just very happy that that one young baby and her family didn't get on that particular plane.

TheSpottedZebra · 18/07/2014 12:56

But KingJoff - that is how the media is - a human angle is needed. And at that point none of those killed had been named, it was too soon to talk to the bereaved (although clearly not too soon to shove cameras in their face as they sat distraught on the bus).

We all watched it, we all click on the links, we buy the papers...

Bambamb · 18/07/2014 12:56

Yes OP that's what they meant. They think they are better than all those other poor souls because they were chosen to survive. Considering how shaken up they must be I'm sure they've thought very long and hard about exactly what words to use in order to be sure to offend someone of such delicate sensibilities as yourself. And I'm sure most of us wouldn't feel the same in the aftermath of something so horrific.

YABU.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 18/07/2014 12:57

I'd have been thanking my lucky stars too, in the same way that I would if I drove past a large RTA. It's human nature. This doesn't mean I wouldn't feel sympathy for those involved, as obviously I would. I don't see that the two have to be mutually exclusive actually. To be fair to that couple, the journalists probably heard a British accent and in the absence of anyone else to tap for a sound bite, official or otherwise, thought it would make a good human interest piece.

firesidechat · 18/07/2014 12:58

What Bambamb said.

Stinkle · 18/07/2014 12:58

It's just a turn of phrase, and they were probably in shock.

Years ago DH and I were driving back to Calais having taken the kids to Disneyland Paris. As we were on the dual carriageway approaching Calais DH randomly moved from lane 1 into lane 2. No reason for it as far as I could see, the road was empty. DH said he doesn't know why he switched lanes either, he just did it. 30 seconds later a speeding lorry (just the front bit, didn't have the trailer on) came round a bend, on the wrong side of the dual carriageway in the lane we had been in 30 seconds before.

I don't believe in god, and I'm not woo in the slightest, but at the time I really honestly felt something had been watching over us

It shit me up for months, years later it still gives me the wobbles to think how close we came

Onesleeptillwembley · 18/07/2014 12:58

What rose 202 said.
Do you know what me thought was when I saw them? Not if they were being 'offensive' or not, bit a great sense of relief for them and also pity, as what they'll have to process after this will be something most people thankfully will never have to feel.

OutragedFromLeeds · 18/07/2014 12:59

Tbh anyone who prays/believes in God is of this view so it shouldn't really come as a surprise.

There is massive inequality in, if you believe in any sort of puppet master, he/she obviously values some people more than others.

Bambamb · 18/07/2014 12:59

I can't believe that you watched that on tv and your first thought was anger, instead of "oh how lovely and poignant that this one young family didn't have to die in such a horrible way".

Totally agree. What is wrong with people?

ikeaismylocal · 18/07/2014 13:04

Yabu. They may have been thinking about a deceased relative "watching over them" rather than a god choosing them to survive and let nearly 300 other people die.

What is disgusting is how the media jumped on them and asked them questions, they are a couple with quite a small baby who very very nearly died, I'm struggling to process this disaster, it just seems so close to home, I can't imagine how they must be feeling and to make matters worse they are stranded in Amsterdam with theoption of either getting on a Malaysian airways flightto KL or a flight back home to Scotland.

They need privacy, possibly counseling and practical help not news cameras in their face and people judging them.

Driedpaintbrush · 18/07/2014 13:05

You are well and truly bu. these people had just found out that they would have been dead had they boarded this plane and must be in shock. Then the world's media shoves their cameras and mics in their faces asking for statements. Are you really judging them for saying whatever came to their mind? Also, they maybe have said more (to other film crews) and it's has been edited to this brief snippet. Get of your high horse and get a grip.

Also, Enjoy a Biscuit.