To feel so lonely & frustrated

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Sorry it's probably a bit long & to be honest I just need to get it off my chest.

We have just had the most hideous 12 months with ds2 having been poorly since birth with horrendous silent reflux & constipation caused by an underlying cmpi that went undiagnosed for 9 months. At the same time dh went through a long drawn out consultation process & was made redundant at the end of last year.

Dh really struggled to find a new job as what he was doing was so specific but did give him transferable skills so I returned to work full time at the end of maternity leave to a job I hated (not my pre mat leave role) as it would allow more work life balance. Dh after months of job hunting was offered what looked to be an amazing job with a great company which he jumped at meaning I would be a sahm.

Now through poor management it looks like he is going to lose this job & thanks to the change Cameron has made to employment law there's not a bloody thing we can do about it.

I have no one to talk to about any of it as we have no family nearby & they are busy with their own lives. I feel utterly devastated to see dh going through this, worried about the financial implications & worried about our dc & the impact this is all having on them. It feels like we're failing them.

I didn't want to read and run.

Being made redundant and money worries are horrible and put a massive amount of strain on any relationship. Keep talking to each other and I am sure you will find a way through.

You are NOT failing your kids, you are providing them with love, although things are nice to have, they are not what's important. Explain to them what is happening, even if you think they aren't old enough to understand.

My dad worked away a lot when we were kids and was made redundant too, it doesn't mean I have unhappy memories. We just did things that didn't cost as much as other people, but I knew I was loved.

xx

Thanks swaledale, your post was so kind it made me cry! Dc's are only 2.5 & 15 months so definitely too young to understand the financial implications but the stress, worry & strain me & dh seem to have constantly been under with his work issues & ds2's health problems is something we're worried they pick up on no matter how much of a brave face we put on & hasn't meant they've always had the best of us or the stability we want for them.

As hard as it is, try to keep upbeat for them, enjoy them and the time you spend together, same with you and your OH. Life will get easier! x

Just one of those things would be enough to floor someone, no wonder you're feeling bogged down with all of them together over a year.

If this job came up for you DH then all's not lost, it's just the agony of waiting until another one comes along.

You haven't failed anyone, things will get better, try and focus on the time when you can look back on this and inwardly shudder at how bad it was (and you'll have a whole new set of problems plaguing you )

'and you'll have a whole new set of problems plaguing you' I meant that in a 'such is life' way rather than insinuating that you constantly complain about things.

This must be causing you so much stress. Don't underestimate how profoundly stressful a situation you're in so don't let it make you feel like you have failed In any way. You and your dh love your dc more than anything in the world and would do anything for them so don't ever feel you've failed them.

I'm sure something will turn up and everything will be fine but in the meantime just keep being the awesome and cool family that stick together no matter what.

God only sends you what you can cope with. Or words to that effect.