To think my daughters belief should be applauded

[Takethedamncheese]

Shes just 8. I didnt have any body confidence/ self worth/ self esteem until my late 20's. I was brought up in a very ' children should be seen and not heard' time and was told i was rubbish very regulary. My mother still thinks she has a say over most areas of my life. She doesnt and we row frequently.

Ive worked hard to try to instill self worth etc in my daughter. She came out of school yesterday and was quite annoyed as a child had been told off for drawing on her own hand. She said it wasnt fair as it wasnt harming anyone else, and its her body and its peoples choices what they do with their own bodies and noone elses.

I didnt make a big deal, but i was so pleased that that is the way she thinks.

I mentioned in to my mum who had a go, said i needed to squash that idea and i would not be laughing when she comes home with a piercing aged 16.

Am i being terribly naive?

Well if you are then i am too :) i like to talk through choices with my children-the good and the not so much and then let them decide (obviously not when it comes to safety). My mum thinks same as you-think it's a generational thing, she thinks it's terrible that I would actually say to my children 'what do you fancy for tea, x or y?'. Apparently letting them dictate such things is a complete travesty :)

I wouldn't be impressed if my dc came out of school and had been allowed to draw on their body

Perhaps you need to instill in your child that there's a time and a place!

*My mum thinks the same as yours, not you.

Yanbu.

There's worse things then having a piercing aged 16! Being unable to say no to a boyfriend who is pressurising you not to use a condom for example.

The piercing I had at 16 is well and truly healed! Getting an std may impact your life forever.

I wonder if the child should have been writing on paper, rather than drawing their hand? If the teacher has got an 8 year old telling her it's her arm and her right if she'd told her to stop doing that and get on with what ever the class had been doing, I wouldn't have been every impressed.

A piercing?

At 16?

How will you cope?

Your DD sounds cool. You're right to be prod of her.

:)

I have a tattoo which I doodled on myself and then asked my local tattoo artist to go over.

Yabu I agree with your mum in this instance. At 8 a child is old enough to not draw on themselves, and taking instruction from a teacher is important.

It's a great sentiment. :) My children have all drawn on themselves (15 yr old DS1, I'm looking at you!!) I don't care - it washes off.

However, you probably need to point out that it's more the fact that drawing on your hand means you aren't doing the work you're meant to be doing :)

Having "body confidence/ self worth/ self esteem" bears little relationship to a child in class drawing on themselves instead of paying attention to the lesson.

Nowhere in the post does it say she didn't listen to instruction from her teacher. As for being old enough at 8 to not draw on self, kids in secondry school drew on themselves when I was growing up so I don't think it's that unusual lol

I thought that too midnite

There are worse things than a piercing and worse things than drawing on hands.

There is NOTHING worse than a child who involves him or herself in minor classroom disputes that have absolutely nothing to do with them.

Of course it is, but, i don tend to agree with DD in that it isnt really hurting anyone, the child isnt 3, and its kind of her choice. I dont see why she should have lost golden time over it, the punishment seems out of sorts with the ' crime'
a ' why did you do that, go wash it off' might have been better.

I dont have any tattoos or piercings, not even ears, not that i dont like them, just i dont like them on me.

But im proud that one, at just 8 she thinks a persons body is their own and noone has the right to tell them what to do with it
that two, shes not afraid to voice this option.

It depends on whether she was doodling on her hand with her head in the clouds really! If she wasn't paying attention then that might have been what the teacher was getting at rather than anything else.
What you're teaching her about her body is great but she probably does need to learn that there's a time and a place
Not sure about her being old enough to not draw on her hand either, DS came home once with half if his French lesson on his arm for some reason and DH regularly washes little doodles off the back of his, he's nearly 40!

She didnt get involved in a dispute. She didnt say anything, she just told me about it afterschool on the way out. She said she was cross and didnt think it was fair.

And that child had done the drawing on her hand at lunchtime. There is a bit of a fad for drawing eyes on their fingers and making their hands look like faces, but this child had done a whole head and body etc etc.

As long as you're confident she knows not to openly challenge the teacher! :)

Believe me, few things are more infuriating than giving child1 a mild rebuke for something and nothing only to have child2 decide to loudly object that it was unfair as child1 wasn't ...

It really doesn't matter about the ins and outs of the girls hand drawing. I don't think the OP is asking about that. She's proud that her dd feels as she does about her doing what she wants with her own body.

Good for her I say. I would be very proud that she felt like that at 8. It is her body and she should have a say in what happens to it.

excusetyops, yes, thats what i meant, it could have been about anything, im just proud DD feels that way and that she can voice that as well.

She voiced it to whom?

It's something I taught my DDs from a young age.

I remember when dd was about 4, she was being rather naughty. I was at the end of my tether and despite never smacking her before, to my shame i wondered out loud if a smack on the bum would make her behave.

She responded "It's my bottom and you aren't allowed to smack it"

That shut me up!

In case anyone thinks she grew up to be a brat- she's 23 now, and a lovely, hardworking woman who I'm very proud to call my daughter.

Voiced it to me.

I would never have said such a thing to my mother, or anyone at that age. Or indeed another 8 years older.

I think that it's important to you, OP, that your dd is confident enough to have her own opinion and speak her mind. For many, this is natural and we see it in our own children without really thinking too much about it.

But for you, it's a big deal because you weren't allowed to have a voice as a child and your own opinions have been quoshed. I can understand why you are proud of your dd and pleased with her reaction.

Also, it sounds like she had the sense to keep her opinion to herself until the appropriate time to voice it and that is, imo, more important and a mature response which many adults have never mastered.