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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to park in this disabled bay?

39 replies

MyFairyKing · 17/07/2014 23:11

Brief background to avoid drip feeding: I am a blue badge holder and I live on a busy residential road where many houses do not have drives, so people park along the road. I have not been in this house very long and have asked the council for a disabled parking bay. They initially declined but I am continuing my mission. In the mean time....

A neighbour has a disabled parking bay very close to her house. I can usually find somewhere to park that is suitable for me. Occasionally, I cannot and if the bay is free, I will use it. If I can see another space come free, I will move my car, so I am not going out of my way to make her life difficult. She's now asked me not to use it at all Now, I don't want to cause neighbourly ructions but legally, it's not 'her' space. While I'm trying my best not to bother her, it's making me feel really shitty and anxious.

I suppose this is more of; what the hell do I do, apart from never leave the house again?

OP posts:

ICanSeeTheSun · 17/07/2014 23:13

You are legally allowed to use that space then use it.

Icelollycraving · 17/07/2014 23:14

What claim does she have over the space,was it allotted due to her request?

PuggyMum · 17/07/2014 23:15

I think you just have to say to her you do try to park elsewhere but when unable to and the space is free you will use it.

Tell her you are trying to get another space.

Please don't feel bad. You have every right to use the space.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 17/07/2014 23:18

Is it allocated for her or a general one? Some spaces can be specifically for one disabled car.

Original poster

MyFairyKing · 17/07/2014 23:19

Sorry if unclear, it's a generic disabled space. I know there are certain spaces that are designated to certain cars but this is just a regular disabled bay.

OP posts:

DragonMamma · 17/07/2014 23:22

You're legally allowed to use it but if she's specifically applied for it then I would feel massively shitty about using it. Generic or not, if it wasn't for her disability and applying for it then there wouldn't be one for you to use.

I know you're entitled to use it but I personally wouldn't as I would feel it belonged to them.

Original poster

MyFairyKing · 17/07/2014 23:31

Dragon that is how I feel but when I'm dead on my feet, emotion flies out and I just need to get in my home and crash.

I don't know why I feel this way about this space though because, if it wasn't for disability rights campaigners working hard before I was even conceived, I probably wouldn't be getting out much at all.

OP posts:

Vintagejazz · 17/07/2014 23:31

If it's a regular disabled space and you have a blue badge then you are perfectly enitled to use it. I can understand her feeling annoyed if she's been used to the space being left exclusively for her, but she has absolutely no right to ask you not to use it.

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 17/07/2014 23:35

If it's just a regular disabled bay then surely you're free to use it. What does she say when she asks? Does she give a reason why she should trump you?

Dutch1e · 17/07/2014 23:43

Any chance she could be an ally? If she did organise this one she might be able to give you some tips on the best person to ask for at the council. Or at least have a good moan together about how long it takes.

Who knows, she might even 'offer' you the spot or work out a rota or something.

CommunistLegoBloc · 17/07/2014 23:47

You have every right to park there. What reason did she give when she asked you not to do so? You don't even do it regularly (as would be your right!) so she's the one in the wrong here. You sound lovely in your concern not to annoy her, but it might be misplaced.

Igggi · 17/07/2014 23:58

We have spaces like that here, they are right outside the house of the person who requested them; they wouldn't be there if that individual hadn't made the request. So you are kind if benefitting from her need for a space. I think you need to step up your demands with the council.

annebullin · 17/07/2014 23:58

If it's a generic space then YANBU, but making her an ally is probably a good idea.

shouldbeelsewhere · 18/07/2014 00:09

The parking spaces outside my flat are numbered for which property they belong to and mine also has disabled markings. It's iffy but I'd understand why you'd park there if you did.

EssexMummy123 · 18/07/2014 00:15

I think - i'd be more inclined to think who needs it more, you or her?

For instance my GF had a blue badge for other people to drive him as he was blind. My GM had a blue badge for others to drive her as she had an illness like motor neurone disease, so what is your illness and what is your neighbours and who do you think needs it most?

FishWithABicycle · 18/07/2014 00:20

I think YANBU to use it occasionally. If occasionally becomes more than once a week or for more than a 12 hour stretch then that's less OK but your disabilities are just as valid as hers and the space is not hers, so go for it.

Without wishing to hijack the thread but this isn't worth a thread of its own:
There's a residential road I sometimes park on for an hour or so as it is right next to a children's playpark - it isn't near our house or in walking distance but it's on our way back from places we go to regularly so its a favourite. Most times we visit there are parking spaces free, but occasionally there is nowhere to park at all except for a space which has exceedingly worn and faded paint dotted about it here and there which you can just about make out used to say "disabled" - it has clearly been many many years since the paint was last maintained and you could quite reasonably claim that you didn't notice the paint, there is so little of it left - except that I'm quite eagle-eyed and did notice it.

So my question is - is a disabled space so-designated in perpetuity once allocated? Or do they expire if the disabled resident moves away (or passes on I suppose)? Are they regularly maintained with fresh paint every few years? Is it therefore possible/likely that this badly deteriorated disabled bay has in fact "expired" and is no longer in use as a disabled bay, and can thus be used by anyone?

I've never parked in it but occasionally wonder whether it might be OK to.

RonaldMcDonald · 18/07/2014 00:20

My mum has this problem

She had a bay placed outside her house for exactly the same reasons as you have. She asked the council to provide one and after much hassle managed to get one.
It isn't specifically for her and they are very very rarely for just one resident
Her neighbour uses it permanently

It is what it is.
YANBU but your neighbour tbh will feel it is her space rightly or wrongly

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 18/07/2014 00:21

You are allowed to, I have a disabled bay and other people use it

I won't lie, it does piss me off when I had to fight for it and pay to have it put in. But that's just how it goes, I don't say anything to people using it

If you do get a space then remember that people might do the same

There is so much about being disabled that sucks, often it's the little things that get to you

SiennaBlake · 18/07/2014 00:22

I think yabu. There was a thread recently by a woman who had asked for a space for two years. She finally got it but it was a general one. Another blue badge neighbour started using it and she doesn't get a look in despite it only being there because she pushed and pushed for it.

What the hell do you do? You do whatever you would do if that space wasn't there.

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/07/2014 00:23

Having this disabled bay already in the street maybe the reason that your application for another one is turned down.

RonaldMcDonald · 18/07/2014 00:24

Oh and imagine how you will feel after your endless work getting one from the council when your new neighbour moves in and uses it....

Igggi · 18/07/2014 00:30

Fish I would imagine if the householder still lived there they'd have made sure it was maintained so others could read it. But no guarantees!
I know of one near my in-laws where the person entitled to it moved out five years ago, the space hasn't been painted over or anything.

VerityWaves · 18/07/2014 00:35

I don't think you should use it no.

NoodleOodle · 18/07/2014 02:41

ICanSeeTheSun Is there a possibility that the space being there means the OP's request is more likely to be declined (do you know about these things)? If so, YWNBU to use it whenever it were free. If not, YANBU to use it as a last resort, but keep on pushing for another one.

CrohnicallyDepressed · 18/07/2014 06:37

fish there used to be a disabled space on my road. Very recently it looks like they have removed it. It used to be clearly marked but all of a sudden the paint is barely there. I think they tried to remove it but some paint has seeped into the road surface so they can't get all the paint off. Could that be what has happened to the one you mention?

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