To have found this encounter re kids playing outside apartment very strange

[Vintagejazz]

There is a Green about 20 yards from my apartment. About 15 minutes ago went out and asked a group of kids who had been shouting and playing right below our apartment window to go and play on the Green. They said okay and I went back inside.

They immediately moved back under my sitting room window playing and shouting and looking up at our window andswinging out of a lampost and I went down again. They scarpered onto the Green when they saw me coming and I went around and told them again to stay on the Green and not use the grass area underneath the apartment for loud games at 10 o'clock at night when people were trying to sleep or get kids to sleep. I also asked a couple of them where they lived and said I would speak to their parents if they kept making noise like that at the apartment block late at night. The said okay and I walked away. As I was walking away I saw a youngish woman coming onto the Green and assumed it was a parent finally calling her child in.

As I walked back towards my apartment she called after me and started asking me why I had a problem with children playing on the Green. I said I had no problem with them playing on the Green, in fact I had asked them to play there. She then said 'well the children are going to be playing on the Green. So are you going to be knocking on parents' doors for that'? I repeated that I had actually asked the children to play on the Green and why shouldn't they be on the Green? It was them playing on the grass right below people's apartment windows at ten o'clock that was the problem, and I had asked them to move to the Green.

She then said 'right, as long as you know they will be playing on the Green'. And I said, 'that's fine. But an apology would be nice for them being disruptive' and she said 'okay, but they're not my children'?

WTF? AIBU to wonder what that was about?

She got an idea in her head, and wasn't going to apologise for getting it wrong.

Either that, or she thought you were backtracking and pretending you hadn't told them off for playing on the green.

I think she did accept in the end that I hadn't told the kids to play on the Green. But she did seem to be very reluctant to realise she had nothing to defend them against because I hadn't actually complained about them playing on the Green.
The fact that they weren't her kids puzzled me. Why would you come striding onto the Green to have a go at a stranger regarding something that really had nothing to do with you?
It's just left me feeling weird. I've never rowed with any of my neighbours in the nine years I've lived here.

Sorry, hadn't told the kids not to play on the Green.

She accepted in the end you hadn't told the children to play on the green??? I thought the point was you did tell them to play on the green?

Ahh x post

Tbh, I'd be annoyed with my kids if they were playing loudly anywhere at 10pm. It's still not ok to shriek and shout on the green (or in their own garden) at that time and they need to learn to be considerate of other people.

I think if you tell other people's kids to do something, you've stuck your head above the parapet, and may end up in the line of fire.

Just the way it is.

I'd forget it.She knows she got it arse about face.

She's put me off watching my recording of Masterchef now . Just keep seeing her belligerent face (and wondering if she is some weirdo who comes charging onto the Green at regular intervals to defend people she doesn't know against things that were never said to them )

I really wouldn't overthink it that much

I know Sharon but I feel she's given the kids the idea that I was wrong for asking them to play on the Green which kind of undermines me if they start shouting and playing loud games outside my window in future ie here's that nutter again that Sharlene gave what for last time she told us off.

Not sure why she was charging onto the Green if none of the kids were her's. But she obviously asked the kids 'what was that lady saying?' they said 'she's going to call round and tell our parents if we don't stop making nosie' and she came marching self righteously up to you to tell you the children have a 'right' to play on the Green.

She sounds like she was in full sail and couldn't get her head around the fact that she'd got it wrong but eventually, when forced, gave an ungracious apology. I wouldn't worry about it and would continue to ask the children to move onto the Green if they're being noisy.
Why are young children still out at 10 oclock at night anyway?

Well I was wondering that myself Summer. Some of them looked far too young to be still out at that time of night,
I guess she just dived in with her accusations and didn't have the manners to either ask me for my version of events before getting stuck in, or apologise and back down when she realised she'd got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

I'll just write her off as one of those knobs that's not worth worrying about (and hope I don't encounter her out and about).

I too am wondering why they were allowed to play out so young and so late at night.

I wouldn't give the woman a second thought!

They might not be her kids but I suspect she's friends with their parent and wanted a nice justice crusade to take back for a pat on the head. Wild supposition but I would imagine I'm in the right area.

I'd do as you are doing and put it out of your head, laugh at her inability to cover her mistake and enjoy masterchef.

I think one of the children has texted a parent, parent told friend or step parent or auntie to go and sort it out, misunderstanding the issue.

Smile at all your neighbours when you see them so youre not seen as the grouch on the block.

What a pain - adults shouldn't undermine other adults' authority in front of kids unless the facts warrant doing so. Hope it works out for you, OP.

If they do it again I recommend letting it go for a couple of occasions before you get involved again, in case they are simply looking for a reaction. Not reacting is often enough to move them somewhere else.

Good advice everyone. Woke up in the night thinking about it as I hate getting into rows Anyway we've had a nice thunderstorm just now so hopefully that will clear the air (and maybe keep the kids inside for a while)

I think she was making a point that you had sent the children to the green without letting their parents know you had done so.

I'd have gone mad if you had forcibly moved children to play elsewhere.

Did you buy your apartment in the belief that it was a child free place to live

'well the children are going to be playing on the Green. So are you going to be knocking on parents' doors for that'?

You may have missed the nuanced passive aggressive tone to her voice I think

At 10pm, I really don't think it's unreasonable for other people to be unhappy about children playing loudly outside their window. The whole 'did you expect it to be child free?' argument only works at times when it's reasonable to expect children to be shouting. People should be able to tell children to move away from their windows at 10pm, even if their parents are irresponsible enough to let them be out bothering other people at that time.

It would be unreasonable for adults to be shouting outside someone's window at 10pm because other people can reasonably expect some peace at that time of night. Would you go out and start shouting in your garden at that time, or would you have some consideration for your neighbours?

Maybe she's their Aunt or something. Either way don't stress about it. One of them probably went and moaned that someone had told them off and she was misinformed and came to defend them.

10pm is subjective, meh.

Its summertime and kids play.

You believe it's too late. I don't.

I honestly believe that if people get so offended by the noise of others, particularly children at play, they should find somewhere to live where it won't be an issue for them.

There are enforceable rules in this country as to what is and isn't considered a noise nuisance. Kids playing outside at 10pm is not.

Hth.

That's a good point Thegirlfromipanema, the woman was probably worried that the children had been moved from where their parents agreed for them to play.

You actually think it's ok for anyone to shout outside someone else's window at any time after 10pm?

No Unreal. The kids had been tearing around all over the place and then congregated under my window mainly because there's a lamppost there they wanted to swing out of. In any event, why would a bunch of parents send their kids to play right under a neighbour's window at ten o'clock at night??

After 11pm in public is the time where noise may (potentially) be considered a nuisance. I think 11pm-7am are the hours all councils use.

If I had a problem with the actions of some kids I would most likely seek out their parents, or whoever was at home with them

I don't consider 10pm late at all. There are often kids out in the gardens round here at that time at the minute. I assume its because the weather is nice and they are making the most of it

Anyway, wasn't your AIBU was about your encounter with the woman you spoke to. I don't think you got her drift. If you get my drift.

Perhaps it was really a thinly veiled dig at parents who let there kids play out late er than you have deemed acceptable