To not want to use food as a punishment/reward? Also related to asd.

[Imsuchamess]

Social worker and I had a disagreement today. I have a child who is definitely autistic and another being assessed for asd and ADHD.

As part of their routine they are allowed one sugary snack a day just before they brush their teeth. Social worker said they should only be allowed sugary snack if they have been good. But I said I don't want them thinking of food as a reward/punishment as I think it may instil a negative attitude towards food and could increase the risk of eating disorder.

Plus as it is part of their routine to remove it would cause a major melt down and would not calm either child down at all in fact would cause the opposite effect and make things a lot worse and their behaviour more difficult to manage. Social worker is not happy I refused to use snacks as a reward/punishment. Aibu?

Social worker is wrong, and I agree with you. These snacks are a part of your DC's routine, and they clean their teeth straight afterwards anyway.

"A little of what you fancy does you good" as my late mum used to say. She used to say "All things in moderation" as well.

I've read loads of articles saying that you shouldn't use sweet food as a reward/punishment as it gives it a special meaning and they then learn to want it all the time, forming an unnatural attachment to it.

Ignore the social worker and go with your gut instinct.

You could always do what dh did with the health visitor when she offered a childcare tip he didn't agree with i.e. smile sweetly & agree and then as soon as she was out the door carry on exactly as before.

You're absolutely right.

YANBU. I am an emotional eater and I am trying very hard not to use food as a reward with my DC.

Would the SW be appeased if you gave your DC a non food treat at the end of a good day?

YANBU. I'd definitely want to keep food and rewards separate.

Agree with the social worker then do what you want when she's gone.

YANBU but ideally you would wait 30 mins before brushing so mouth acid can neutralise. Appreciate this may not be possible if your child has a very strict routine. And good on you for telling the SW no!

We tend to keep treats for special occasions - end of term, visiting granny or weekly sunday treat . Means we eat less sugar. I understand that your son may struggle if things aren't routine BUT isn't it better not to give him sugar every day? It's not the best routine.

YANBU for a lot of resons.
Both for the ASD situation (she clearly has no idea what is ASD) and on an attitude towards food pov.

But YY, just smile and nod and then just do what isd the most sensible idea. You can still ask you've tried and it was a complete disaster.

I have also heard that you should wait 30 mina before brushing - but you are completely yanbu.

Many ASD kids have enough issues around food without adding to it. Sometimes I have been crying and begging dd to eat chocolate as she hasn't eaten a thing for a whole week.

I try really hard not to make food a reward or punishment. She eats what she wants, with a strong emphasis on healthy main course first. then there is something sweet afterwards and a limit on how much she can have in a day. There is also a good awareness that too much sweet stuff is unhealthy.

I don't force her to eat what she doesn't want to, but she is old enough to understand that she may have to be hungry sometimes.

YANBU. you know your child best and although they can make suggestions it's totally up to you which ones you're happy to try. I wouldn't bother even 'pretending' to do it to keep her happy. Well done for telling her.

Social worker is an idiot. I have three children with Asds.

ASD or no ASD, for all children you are 100% correct (although chocolate buttons were very useful when potty training!).