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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not take in any more parcels for my neighbour?

50 replies

WoollyHat · 17/07/2014 13:42

I have just taken in yet another parcel for the neighbour who lives opposite. I joked with the delivery driver that I had more parcels for the neighbour than I do for me. He said that was probably because he'd put my address to deliver to if he was out!! I don't mind taking in parcels but I am being unreasonable to think he should ask first before he puts my house number on as an alternative?

OP posts:

monsterowl · 18/07/2014 10:08

Sounds like you handled it perfectly WoollyHat: you made your point politely but firmly.

OxfordBags · 18/07/2014 10:11

Maybe it was a fresh delivery of flip-flops?

You did good, OP.

SauvignonBlanche · 18/07/2014 10:17

We're not allowed to have personal mail delivered to work.

LePetitPont · 18/07/2014 11:03

Are you 100% sure the neighbour is asking for his parcels to go to you? If so, yanbu.

However, some courier companies take it upon themselves to knock on the doors of all the houses in our close to did someone in - invariably number 16 with a retired couple. We definitely do not suggest our parcels go there! Hate having to bother them at 8/9 at night when we get back from work. Helpfully, the courier doesn't always bother telling us where the parcel has gone and they get really cross with us for not coming to collect.

Also I work in a big office but we are not allowed to have personal mail / parcels delivered to work.

micah · 18/07/2014 11:09

Sounds like a business opportunity to me- charge a couple of quid for the convenience of taking in all the parcels for your neighbours :)

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/07/2014 11:41

I don't mind taking parcels for my neighbours usually, but a few years ago it got too much. We were getting parcels every single day for my NDN. She is lovely so I kept taking them in.
Then one day I was in the shower when the door went. DD opened the door (even though I had locked it and told her to leave the door, she opened it as she knew it was the delivery lady I always answered to). I got out of the shower and ran down just as DD shut the door. I asked who it was (and told her off!) she said it was the delivery lady leaving this... she pointed to the huge parcel behind her. It was a flipping garden umbrella. It was so big it lay across my kitchen floor.
I was not impressed, as I would have said no to such a huge parcel, especially as my neighbours were away for a few days.
On their return they came round and apologised profusely. It turned out all the parcels I had been signing for were not actually for them, but for their adult DD. She worked full time so assumed it was better to order them to her mums. The work till 2pm, and deliveries came at 11am, so neighbours were never in either.
After that the NDN put a stop to the deliveries and told their DD to order it to her office in future!
I rarely get deliveries for others now.

JoeyMaynardsghost · 18/07/2014 13:31

It was a flipping garden umbrella. It was so big it lay across my kitchen floor. I was not impressed, as I would have said no to such a huge parcel, especially as my neighbours were away for a few days

Think I might have walked it round and left it on their doorstep to make the point. Or put it in the back garden. It annoys me getting parcels for next door as they know there's someone here all the time - when I'm working I do not want to have to stop and answer the door for something that isn't even for me!

We took in a parcel once, and DD volunteered to deliver it round there when she knew neighbour would be in, so she walked it round there and the woman just opened the door, took the parcel and then shut the door in DD's face! No thank you, nothing.

That was the last time we ever took in any for her. And she has a lot of things delivered. A bit of courtesy goes a long long way.

hhhhhhh · 18/07/2014 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coughle · 18/07/2014 13:40

I love these threads... I don't live in the UK and had never heard of this practice before; for some reason it seems bizarre to me! I can't believe it's normal to leave parcels with neighbours! I mean, I believe it, but it's honestly one of the strangest things I've learned on mumsnet grin

Coughle · 18/07/2014 13:40

Argh.. That should be

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/07/2014 13:41

DH did want to walk it round (I couldn't lift it due to health issues) but was worried it would get stolen and we would get the blame (NDN were away for 3 or 4 days).
The parcels did stop after that, my NDN was very apologetic as she realised how much of an inconvenience it had been for 3 days not to be able to move easily round our kitchen.
It wasn't her fault in many ways, her DD was a grown up with her own home and just wanted to either avoid the trip to the post office or hide the shopping from her partner (NDN did say once her son in law would go spare at the number of parcels she had delivered - though apparently she returned about half of what she bought).
NDN put her foot down with her DD that very night - we could here her give her what for on the doorstep. After that I think we have had about 2 parcels for NDN (and actually for her) over the last 2 or 3 years, so much better.

Your NDN was very rude JoeyMaynard no wonder you stopped taking parcels!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/07/2014 14:34

I always take in neighbours' parcels,I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't unless it was really huge and going to be in the way. All the posties round here knock neighbouring houses if you aren't in, in fact we got a letter last year stating that's what happens now. It's no biggie really, is it?

specialsubject · 18/07/2014 14:36

no excuse for this for working people. He either gets it delivered to work (as I always used to do) or uses one of those new parcel drop off locker things.

OnlyLovers · 18/07/2014 15:37

Good on you for mentioning it. He's a coward for running off; maybe if he'd apologised and asked nicely if you would mind continuing to be his delivery option person, you'd have agreed, but now he probably won't do it again so he's lost his helpful neighbour!

It was very cheeky of him not to ask to put you as his delivery option. In principle though, and if someone asked, I'd be happy to take in parcels. I like having nice neighbours and I try to be one myself.

On delivering parcel to work, a lot of work postrooms don't allow personal items to be delivered and will even refuse to take them in; it's a lot of time and resources to spend on personal post on top of the actual work post. Although I think there should be a balance; a lot of people spend a lot of time at work and sometimes getting things delivered there is the only realistic option I may abuse my own work postroom sometimes

OnlyLovers · 18/07/2014 15:38

Dame, but the real point here is that he'd put down the OP as his person to deliver post to without asking her!

Original poster

WoollyHat · 18/07/2014 15:40

100% sure he asked it to be delivered to me. The delivery man showed me the delivery message on his hand held do dah. It said if out, leave at number xx. Thing is they probably would have knocked on my door anyway and I'd have taken it in.I was just annoyed that he'd specifically asked for it to be left with me without telling me. I don't reckon he'll do it again though!!

Those saying it's not a biggie to take a parcel in. I know it isn't and I'm happy to do it. And he knows I'm happy to do it and is taking advantage by using me as his own personal drop off point. How many of you would be pleased if your neighbours started having all their parcels delivered to you??

OP posts:

MostlyMama · 18/07/2014 15:40

I'd have opened it, when he came round tell him it appeared to have your address on it, there'd be nothing he could do about it....he put your flaming address on it! 'I thought you'd bought me a pressie!' :o

MostlyMama · 18/07/2014 15:41

Oh so the parcel didn't actually have your address on it...he'd clicked the valid option on the website.....you can refuse and I suggest you do so every time in future.

Hobbes8 · 18/07/2014 15:45

Sometimes it's the couriers rather than the neighbours being cheeky though. I used to live in a flat above a shop and once had a sofa - yes a sofa - delivered to a shop 3 doors down and an incomprehensible note stuffed through my door. I lived on my own on the first floor so it wasn't ideal.

LisaMed · 18/07/2014 16:26

I put my neighbours as a contact for parcels. They often take parcels in for me. That is why I am always handing over sweets, flowers, gifts etc They are lovely people and I am desperately grateful not only for their help with parcels but also they are lovely.

That's what you do for neighbours who take in parcels.

PuppyMonkey · 18/07/2014 16:51

I'd be surprised if he had actually written "leave at number xxx" himself rather than the courier company. The only option I've seen on websites etc is a generic "leave with neighbour." Maybe the regular delivery drivers now know you're mostly at home and have added the message on their route information?

As Bill and Ted always say, be excellent to each other.

It's easier than being arsey about it.

Original poster

WoollyHat · 18/07/2014 17:17

I am lovely Lisa. Doubt very much I'll get flowers or gifts though.

There is often a box for delivery comments. Eg put over gate, leave behind bins or whatever. The delivery guy showed me what he had written and it said leave at my number.

I'm very happy to 'be excellent to each other' but he's taking the piss by asking for stuff to be delivered to me without asking me first.

OP posts:

WalkWithTheLonelyOnes · 18/07/2014 17:17

puppy DPD give you the option to select any neighbour or pick a particular one. You can also leave delivery info with some sites aswell

PuppyMonkey · 18/07/2014 17:21

Well, ok, tell the driver to fuck off and then your neighbour to do the same next time if you prefer.

LisaMed · 18/07/2014 17:21

btw Approved Food and Amazon both now have options to leave with identified neighbour (because I've put my lovely neighbours down on both and got them goodies as a thank you)

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