To not treat my children equally

[ReallyTired]

My children are seven years apart in age. Ds has far more hobbies than dd. dd is five years old and ds is 12. dd will get to do more hobbies when she is older.

I think as long as you give your 5yr old DD the same opportunities that your then 5yr old DS had there will not be a problem, in time DD will catch up with DS. There are only two years between my DB and I, but I wasn't allowed to go to the pub/clubbing with him when he was 18 because I was only sixteen - I just had to deal with it. With children and teenagers age related activities are always going to be a factor, you DD's turn will come.

You can't treat children exactly the same if there is a large age gap.
Your DS will be allowed out on his own, but your DD is (presumably) not.

Equality of opportunity is needed at similar ages.

Note that different children may get to be mature enough for different things at different times. My DD2 will almost certainly be allowed into town on her own at an earlier age than her elder sister was, because DD2 has more common sense and more awareness of the world around her.

I was seven years younger than DSis and at age five it did not occur to me that she got to do more things than I did. That's not how such young brains work. Don't worry about it.

I'd go for treating them fairly, rather than treating them equally. There's a big age gap, and different gender, which are both going to make a difference in what they do and what their interests are.

No one can treat their DCs the same because children aren't the same - "equal fairness" is what I try to aim for. And it seems to go in peaks and troughs - we'll have a few months where one DC seems to be winning in terms of time/resources/attention, and then another DC will somehow step into their place, and so on.

6 years and a chromosone difference between my 2.They're in their 30's now so are treated equally but as kids it just wasn't practicle.They assure me that they had no concept of disparate treatment.

Age also brings responsibility a 12 year old will have more chores, more worries about getting homework in on time. As long as in 7 years time your DD is not missing out on opportunities because you are still funding DS.

The important thing is always to treat them fairly not equally.

Even if you has same-gender twins, it wouldn't be fair to take them both to football matches every weekend if one loved football and the other hated it.

'Equal' 'Fair' even before you add in a big age gap.