After being cheated on by my ex partner I finally met someone new who was perfect for me and was into a very specific thing that i also love - japanese cars. I have been seeing my new partner for 7 months now and it was going so very well. I absolutely adored him. when I first began talking to him we talked about lots of things over the course of about a year as frieds. he admitted that because his ex wife was emotionally dead as he puts it, he once visited a prostitute. He emphasised that it was a mistake and he never did it again and so although I was uncomfortable with it I overlooked it as I really did like him.
We both have small businesses and often help each other out and I had been asked to log into his email account and resend a failed email as his pc suddenly gave up the ghost. I went into the sent box and was unfamiliar with the format and ended up ordering the contents in reverse date order where I found no less than 11 emails in a line of him arranging to meet with "bbw's" and other types of escorts and this is where I was in the wrong because I opened a couple and found a disgusting message asking if she would book an hour session with him and another few emails asking other prostitutes if he could see photos of their breasts before he meets them. I felt sick and disgusted and burst into tears before confronting him about it.
He lied to me deliberately as I directly asked him before we were together if it was just the once and he swore it was. I would never ever have even considered being with someone who was a serial user of these services. I absolutely loathe them. He knows this and his excuse was that if he had told me I wouldn't understand. He says he used to pay them to cuddle him because he felt unloved and they were affectionate and sometimes he couldn't help having sex with them on a few occasions. He claims he was ashamed of his past and that he wanted it to go away but it keeps coming back to bite him and he was sobbing by the time he finished his desperate explanation.
I can't look at him or have him kiss or touch me without thinking about it now and it makes me feel so disappointed and very creeped out by him. He is fed up with me spending the last week crying and being miserable but I feel betrayed. He says I'm over reacting and I probably am but he took my choice away from me. If I'd known what he had been doing before I would have ran in the opposite direction because I feel so strongly against prostitution or escorting or whatever it is. looking for some opinions, good or bad. Thank you.