To not pay half of overnight childcare costs over weekend Ex has DD

[pavilionredsquare]

My ex has asked me to go halves on weekend day and overnight childcare on a weekend in August. The weekend has been in the diary as his "access" time with my DD since about April as I am going away with my new partner over this weekend (otherwise I am usually quite flexible). At the time I told ex I wanted this weekend off he said this was fine. However since then he has been invited to a wedding of a work colleague and he really wants to go. He has now asked me to pay halves (the cost will be just under £100 each which is far too much for me anyway) for the childcare seeing as we are "both unavailable".

I have told him no, as this has been in the diary as being "his" weekend with DD for ages. In the past, when I have wanted to do other stuff on "my" weekends and I know ex is unavailable I have arranged my own childcare actually not expecting him to help out as I consider it my responsibility.

AIBU?

If it's his weekend, and he has decided to go out, he should organise childcare.
Why doesn't he take DD to the wedding?

tell him to do one - it is his problem not yours.

Yadnbu, it's his weekend of access so he needs to sort it out. What a cheek.

whatever you do keep those texts and emails!

oh and it is his job to sort out.

Of course YANBU! His custody time - his financial responsibility. Why £200 childcare anyway? That seems a lot.

Tot up all the childcare you have paid for whilst DD has been in your care and give him the bill saying "that makes us even!".

Seriously he's having a laugh!

200 to babysit!!
I'm in the wrong job!

I am assuming you don't have friends or relatives that could step in?

But no, as it's his weekend, he pays.
Can he not take his DD with him?

I assume then that he is saying he is to pay half of childcare for any night you go out?
Will he be applying this retrospectively and sending you a big cheque? Or just starting from now?
he's being unreasonable. And thick.

His weekend, his problem...

But it's polite for you to at least investigate your family or friends - if appropriate - to help him out. If nothing doing then he'll have to stump up or not go to the wedding.

The childcare would be from a Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon and includes all food etc. It is really expensive but I think it is because it is over a weekend.

He doesn't want to take her to the wedding as he wants to get pissed.

He is going to ask some of his friends. Neither of us have family in the area.

Although reading OP again, was this originally supposed to be your weekend ( do you have strict alternate weekends?) which he swapped with in order to do you a favour?

In which case I'd simply say you can't afford it as it is slightly less unreasonable of him (but still definitely not on!)

No we don't have very strict alternate weekends TheSameBoat. We usually alternate but some weekends he wants to swap and sometimes I do (for example recent swaps include him going to Glastonbury Festival). Perhaps the weekend in question fell on my weekend anyway, I don't know as at the time I arranged my break I didn't calculate who was due to have her, I did what we usually do and just asked him if this weekend was OK with him, he said yes and so we put it in the diary.

I think he must have included all the wedding costs in what he is telling you the childcare costs! Like hotel stay and or gift?

His weekend, his child for the weekend, his problem.

Say

"Oh I didn't realise we shared child care costs. Hang on, I'll get my bill for last year. Get your cheque book out whilst you're waiting."

You've got to admire his cheek!

YANBU. Big smile, "welcome to fatherhood."

He's planning on leaving your child where exactly ?
I'd be more concerned about who this 'rentapatent' is .

How old is your child? There is no way I would leave DD with someone that my ex has paid to look after her for that length of time!

Who is he paying?

Do you know who is minding her ?