aibu to think the treatment is often worse than the disease?

[juditz]

Bit of background:

my 84-year-old aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month ago. They carried out a radical hysterectomy (she COULD have had radiotherapy instead but refused it) and released her-wound unhealed- a week afterwards from hospital. It's now infected and apparently oral antibiotics are not healing it. She was re-admitted to hospital monday. While she received good care at home from family (including myself) it was good care in terms of keeping her clean and fed and receiving fluids and general care but NOT medical care as such. The nurse kept an eye on the wound but, obviously, that didn't work out (not a judgement, more matter of fact).

I don't know but maybe I'm just venting but I'm a bit annoyed that

a, Such a serious operation was carried out on an 80-year-old when there was another alternative. I mean wtf? Surely the treatment here is worse than the disease in terms of negative outcomes?

b, why did they let her out with it unhealed? Is it not a false economy when medical care was needed for it to heal and not 'just' ( I say 'just' as I know it's important but not the only thing required) good auxilliary nurse care from family?

I'm a bit upset and probably just venting so don't be too harsh.

But your aunt refused the alternative, didn't she? So surgery was the only option for treatment.

As for healing - I don't think it's uncommon to be discharged from hospital with unhealed wounds. It can take a long time for wounds to fully heal especially in the elderly, and there are wound care specialist nurses who can see people in the community.

But that said, I'm sorry she's having such a rough time. I hope the IV antibiotics get on top of the infection and she gets better soon.

Such a serious operation was carried out on an 80-year-old when there was another alternative. I mean wtf?

By "another alternative" do you mean the radiotherapy? If she refused it then it wasn't really available to the medical team as an alternative. It's very hard to understand and accept when someone close to you does this so I do feel for you but I don't think you can blame the doctors/oncologists for this element of it.

WRT her being discharged after just a week, yeah, I think I'd be very upset and confused too. Again though, it might be worth asking for clarification about the decision-making behind that move.

I really hope she is better soon.

Oh gosh, tunnocks - so sorry to hear about your husband.

Your aunt did not consent to radiotherapy though, so how do you suppose it should have happened?

Sorry to hear about this, was it an open of keyhole op? The discharge time sounds about right, its unfortunate about the infection though, I had gynae surgery and the wound split at home, wasn't an open open just keyhole

Was the support you gave mainly due to her age rather then the op? I'm not sure how it works with the elderly. Whether a medical ward is an option when she needs general support

Hope she feels better soon

Thanks for responses for far.

Your poor aunt. Your aunt did turn out the other treatment so surgery would be the only other option unless she prefer nothing was done. It very common to be discharged with a wound into community as it's felt thus can be dealt with outside hospital as most people heal better in their own homes. The Infection is unfortunate but again that's a risk with surgery. Yes the treatment is worse than the disease but if left untreated your aunt would die before her time.

It's a hard decision re if someone would get through treatment. In my grans case they told the family that her brain tumour could be operated on but she had a high chance of dying on the table. They were happy to try but we as a family had to made to decision based on facts. We decided that at 88 years young it was better she just enjoyed her days.

I wish your aunt a speedy recovery and hope the infection is gone soon. X

Down not out on first line. Sorry autocorrect x

I agree, but you can always refuse any treatment. She didn't have to have the op if she didn't want it.

They may have sent her home to reduce her chances of catching MRSA or c.difficile.

Radiotherapy isn't always an easy option,and your aunt may have felt she wanted to be sure the cancer was out.
Also at this precise moment your aunt is having a hard time,and this feels like a negative outcome - we don't know how fit and well your aunt is generally,but my grandmother lived an active busy life into her 90s,in a situation like that surgery in her 80s would have been worth it to allow her to continue well long term,even if it was difficult in the short term.
I think what I'm saying is that people do have a right to decide on their own treatment,and even at 84 there may be a long term good as well as short term hassle
I hope your aunt makes a good recovery now she is back in hospital,

If she refused the alternative treatment then medical staff would have no choice but to carry out the hysterectomy.

If she was healing okay in hospital and there was nothing else keeping her there then they were right to discharge her. i was discharged after 4 days with a hysterectomy so a week sounds about right for an older person.

The wounds take a very very long time to heal. It just isn't appropriate to keep beds full just to wait for this process to happen.

Also people fp all ages can have problems with their wounds. My cousin had the same op and she is younger than me. She had loads of issues with her wound after she was discharged. I don't think medical have a crystal ball and can predict these things.

All that said i am sorry your aunt is having a difficult time.

I think you are being a bit U. I've had cervical cancer, and also had a radical hysterectomy, so know exactly what it's like. I don't blame your aunt for declining the radiotherapy, it can leave you with long term side effects on your bowel. At the time I had my treatment, it was applied internally, and you had to lie on your back for several days with radioactive rods inside you - not an easy option at all. Your aunt's options will have been fully explained to her by the medical team - including the pros and cons of each. I'm delighted that they felt she was a suitable candidate for surgery - there's a lot of evidence that many older cancer patients are not given the same chances as younger ones.

Sadly, wound infection can happen. I had a minor infection in mine.

If she's back in hospital, the medical staff will be able to give her the extra care she needs to make sure the healing/infection is managed properly.

I'm still here eleven years after my diagnosis/treatment - not a day goes by that I am not conscious of that and extremely thankful for the care I received.

Lots of elderly people have big ops - think of pacemakers or hip replacements or cataracts - all common for older people, but generally recognised as being worthwhile because of the longer term benefits.

To be honest, I have had two friends die from cancer the last ten months. Both had gone through chemo, radiation therapy, the works, two years plus undergoing treatment for cancer. If there is a chance of removing the cancer by operating it out, removing the whole cervix if you must through a hysterectomy, then that is great.

My mum has cervical cancer, she is "just" 78. But as she has dementia, and was already on the "pathway" due to the deterioration of her cognitive skills, there is only a palliative care option available for her, including morphine. Her tumor is very big (20cm diameter), and they are not sure removing the cervix would help, as they think it has spread.

Please have faith that your aunt has discussed the options with her medical team, and what she is experiencing now is just post op issues that will heal. Cancer is a monster.

Sorry for hijack - often think of you and your dh Tunnocks - glad to hear that he is doing well.

Hope your Aunt feels better soon OP.

I bet you are worried and very concerned about your auntie and I hope she gets well soon.

Age is just a number, she is 84 but could live another 10 years+ and I don't think medical treatment should be aged based.

Thanks for all your kind words. It's a cliche but she is in the best place (hospital) now. As well as treatment, she will be able to rest knowing that she is not being a 'burden' -not that anybody resented looking after her at all- it's how SHE felt not us - to anybody other than the staff who are paid to look after her.

Not sure if age is just a number, though. You know if somebody is 80 and the operation takes a year to recover from that's not really the same as a year to a 30-year-old. Sometimes I feel if somebody is not going to live realistically for 5 years after the op owing to other factors such as inevitable deterioration of age it's not always the best option but that's just my opinion.

I am sorry that your aunt is having such a hard time but you are (and I mean this nicely) rather naive if you think that untreated cancer is a gentler option. Some people do slip away quietly, others are literally 'eaten alive'. Its not something you see a lot of in the west and there are good reasons for that.

Obviously if individuals knew at the beginning whether treatment would be successful or not, and what quality of life they'd have whilst under treatment, then many might make different decisions but unfortunately no one can know that - its all predictions made on statistical likelihood.

I understand that you're going through a hard time but try putting yourself in the reverse situation. How would you feel if the medics just said no because she was 'too old'? It was her choice and I'm glad they let her decide whether she wanted to go ahead or not rather than patronisingly deciding for her.

Hope she feels better soon.

I'm sorry your poor aunt is going through this OP and your family has this stress. Radiotherapy is def not an easier treatment as it can mean attending hospital every day for hours at a time, can be very, very painful, burn the surrounding skin and cause extreme tiredness. Then in the end it may not work. Personally I think the hysterectomy was probably an easier option, but I am sorry to read about the infection and hope they get it under control soon.

My husband had chemotherapy and is taking a multitude of meds for widespread cancer. We know he's not going to get better and have discussed all options along the way but he'd rather the side effects than live one day less than he has to. He also had radiotherapy to help with back pain but it made the pain so much worse for a while (reaction to cancer cells dying) and it hasn't helped. I really hope your poor wee aunt feels better soon and if it's any consolation, any wound can get infected no matter the type of operation or age of person.

My husband has cancer. Every step is discussed beforehand and a plan put it place, but it's not really a choice for him - have this deeply unpleasant treatment for the rest of your life or do nothing and the cancer will eventually kill you. Not much of a choice there, hey?

Yes the treatment is far worse than the cancer symptoms he experienced, but that's because they caught it early. I dread to think what actually dying of untreated cancer must be like and neither of us want to find out, thanks very much.

His mum has just had an operation for cancer and she is older than your aunt and has a very poor quality of life. Presumably the doctors considered it worth doing.

Your aunt chose her treatment and obviously didn't want to just let the cancer run it's course. The doctors would have explained the options and treated her like any other person with cancer. Good for them.

OP just saw your post about it taking a year to recover. I was back at work as a HCA on a very busy ward with very difficult patients nine months after mine. They're referring more to being very physical and as your aunt is 80 yrs old I can't imagine she'd planned on going jogging or rock climbing any way.

tunnocks

So sorry to read about your DH. Shit isn't it. I was going to say keep strong but we have no choice really.