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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not see the point of single sex schools?

81 replies

GertieTheGuineaPig · 16/07/2014 10:52

Sorry but I really don't.

I just think it's crazy to separate people based on gender, you would never do the same thing with race for instance, so why gender?

I admit I don't have much experience with single sex schools, I went to a coed school like most people did and I loved spending time with both boys and girls whilst I was in school. I don't think I'd have had the same experience or enjoyed it anywhere near as much if it had just been all girls.

Do people who go to single sex schools tend to find they have trouble mixing with the opposite gender later in life? The working world isn't single sex so why should school be?

OP posts:

notfromstepford · 16/07/2014 11:35

I went to a a girls' grammar school and thought it was brilliant. The boys' school was down the road and for a-levels you could pick from either school - for instance my school didn't do geology but the boys school did so I did my lessons there.
Other than the odd subject at a-level, everything was taught in both schools from sciences to home economics to art. There was no gender association with any subjects in either school.

Never had problem mixing with the opposite sex and have always worked until recently in very male orientated environments with no problem at all.

I'd be happy for my DS to go single sex school if I had the opportunity when he gets to that stage.

SaveTheMockingBird · 16/07/2014 11:39

I'm in two minds about single sex schools. I went to all girls primary and secondary and I had trouble mixing with boys at university. Although that could be because I had no male friends outside of school either and my convervative parent discouraged male friends so my experience of boys was very limited. So at uniI had the choice of so many boys and I spend far too much time on boys that I didn't do so well academically as I should have done! But that just was probably upbringing more than the single sex schools I went to.
My DH went to single sex boys grammar secondary and he has no problems at all mixing with girls/women.

Interestingly, my DF (father), is an educational psychologist and he said that research shows that girls do better in single sex schools and boys do better in mixed sex schools.

My DH is a teacher and he will be starting at a private school next term where at secondary level, the sexes are taught seperately, but mixes together the rest of the time. The perfect solution?!

KERALA1 · 16/07/2014 11:44

I went to a mixed school very keen for dd to go to a single sex. Luckily have state girls school down the road which does well.

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 16/07/2014 12:24

I live in a country where there is only 2 high schools. One for boys and one for girls.

I didn't grow up in this country so I can't speak from experience but the children all seem to mix happily outside school and at lunchtime. I also believe for some of the lessons they are mixed but only a small amount.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 16/07/2014 12:29

ds goes to an all boys grammar and we've certainly had far less problems than ds1 who went to a mixed comprehensive.

Ds2 seems to be far less distracted and hes focused at school. ds1 and his friends were far more obsessed with who was going out with who than ds2 is at the same age.

DD is now t a single sex primary school (currently yr3) and she seems much happier, she is a quiet girl and was overshadowed by the louder boys at her previous mixed primary. The plan is for to stay at this school all the way through to leaving age.

redexpat · 16/07/2014 13:25

Boys learnbest when the room is 19 degrees. Girls learn best at 23 degrees. How do you achieve that in a mixed school?

We dont separate on grounds of ethnicity its true, but we do separate them on grounds of faith and ability and arguably social class. I dont see that gender is any different.

And many workplaces ARE dominated by one gender or the other. Teaching is dominated by women, engineering by men for example.

If you have a daughter at a ss scool she is more likely to choose science and maths at a level, and those with science degrees tend to earn more over their lifetime than those with arts. So actually they help to narrow the pay gap.

Tortoiseturtle · 16/07/2014 13:39

Of course gender is different. There are totally different arguments for separating and not separating for all of these things.

sashh · 16/07/2014 15:38

Girls benefit from single sex schools. They get to take up their fair share of space, they're less likely to believe that some subjects are male subjects and protecting them from the everyday sexism means they are less likely to tolerate it when they leave school.

Huge generalisation there, it depends entirely on the school

My old school just did not teach many subjects as they were 'boys' subjects' and I was forced to do some subjects I hated because I was at a girls' school.

As for sexism, it depends on the school, we were taught very much that we were not equal to men.

pommedeterre · 16/07/2014 15:54

Single sex is amazing for girls especially.

I went to one. It was very good. It really pushed me, gave me confidence

I have had several relationships and am happily married. I also have male friends. Work in a very male dominated industry.

I agree having a younger brother and his pesky friends helped understand males. Probably much more than sharing a classroom with them would have done.

pommedeterre · 16/07/2014 15:55

sashh - there are lots of statistics about single sex being better for girls.

KERALA1 · 16/07/2014 21:20

Also teenage boys working through their hormones at school us girls got a lot of sexually aggressive talk from boys marks out of 10 etc now with the rise of internet porn probably worse. Know you can't protect against that but like the idea of girls only space in those tricky years

manicinsomniac · 16/07/2014 22:02

I went to a mixed comprehensive and certainly wouldn't have wanted single sex. I think a school community would be the poorer for it. Plus, my best and favourite lesson/activity was drama and I just don't think cross dressing is as effective, especially when it comes to musical theatre and you have vocal range to consider.

I did however, go to an all white school (it wasn't a rule, there just weren't any ethnic minority children in the area). One black child joined when I was in about year 10. I don't know if she was made to feel different or awkward at all.

BackforGood · 16/07/2014 22:11

Horses for courses isn't it?

YANBU to 'not see the point' yourself, but then nobody else is BU for understanding the point.

I went to a girls school and never had any problems mixing with boys / men. My dd is current'y at a girls' school and most of her hobbies tend to end up with a MUCH higher ratio of lads to girls - she is very comfortable around lads. My ds went to a boys' school and again, is very happy in the company of girls.

I think one important element is to ensure your whole life isn't limited to what you do at, or through school, but if you mix with society generally, then the research shows that academically people do better being taught in single sex classes.

QueenTilly · 16/07/2014 22:27

Is the performance of girls in single-sex schools being compared to the performance of girls in equally selective mixed-sex schools?

John Hattie in Visible Learning (2008), page 96, suggests the data is still inconclusive.

QueenTilly · 16/07/2014 22:27

*data are.

Sorry.

QueenTilly · 16/07/2014 22:32

So that people can read for themselves, instead of obliged to trust my version.

Gennz · 16/07/2014 22:35

I went to a coed school like most people did

Everyone I know went to single sex schools - in the city where I grew up in New Zealand there were no virtually good co-ed options within a 10km radius of the central city.

DH and I both went to single sex school and we'll send our kids to single sex schools too. Admittedly my friends and I were obsessed with boys at school - I don't know whether we were worse than girls at co-eds but I assume so - but when it came to school work we were pretty focussed and there was no shame in speaking up in class, doing well academically (maybe this is the same at co-eds). For me though, I was a spotty, pasty teenager with braces and I was still very confident and popular at school - I don't think it would have been the same at a co-ed school.

smokepole · 16/07/2014 22:35

Both DD2 and DS and their friends have better relationships with the other sex than DD1 and her friends do. There are many more joint social events with each other than from DDs mixed school. The boys tended to keep to themselves and vice versa, this might be because they saw the girls/boys every day and we grateful of space away from school. The other reason why there is more social interaction , might be because of the types of schools they are.

Tallypet · 16/07/2014 22:41

I went to single sex high school and wouldn't have it any other way. I loved the fact that there were no boys there as a distraction it was bitchy sometimes but I gather it's worse in a co-ed.
I want to send my DS to a single sex school to, but DH not so keen as he went to a co-ed school.

Brummiegirl15 · 16/07/2014 22:45

I went to an all girls grammar school. My parents made me, I was angry, furious, how dare they.

Best thing they ever did. I loved school. Didn't have to worry about boys - although we had the boys grammar school across from us, we used their swimming pool, had same lunch times, had end of year do's with them.

My parents argument was that at aged 11 I wasn't mature enough to make a decision that could affect me for the rest of my life, and they were absolutely right. We were pushed to be all that we could be. I have the job I have now because of doing well in Alevels followed by a degree and then a job that would only accept graduates.

Therefore if I have a daughter, she will absolutely, go to an all girls school. If I have a boy - not sure, as all boy schools can be incredibly competitive and if you aren't sporty for example, almost be left on the sidelines.

As it happens, some of the top performing state schools in the West Midlands are all girls. Sutton girls school and Wolverhampton High School for Girls so the results are there.

Garcia10 · 16/07/2014 22:46

I went to an all girls school for secondary and i would have liked for my daughter to have had the option.

For me the experience was wholly positive. I am bemused by those on the thread who say they went to a girls school and that everyone was obsessed with boys. I had a very different experience.

We were focused on our education and on our friendships. I didn't have a boyfriend until I left at 16 as there were few opportunities to meet with boys. My school was very empowering and there was a clear message that we could achieve as much as boys. The school was very scientifically focused and was integral in helping to shape me as a successful and strong female.

There were none of the distractions that I have observed in girls attending co-ed schools. No need to wear to wear make-up or anything else to impress boys. At my daughter's school they all seem to have boyfriends and my daughter talks about girls who are 'players'. She is 12!!

If you look at school league tables girls' schools perform best:

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/leaguetables/10590130/Top-100-secondary-schools-by-GCSE-results-2013.html

That's the point of single sex education and it is a pity that it isn't an option for all as it was when I went to school.

JamsetjeeBomanjee · 16/07/2014 22:53

I think the idea of single sex schools is just odd. It seems very old fashioned. I know that girls are meant to do better at single sex schools but I can't get my head around why.

AliMonkey · 16/07/2014 22:53

As long as they have a mixed social life outside school then single sex can work really well. I went to one and DD probably will as two good girls schools. DS may too although only one so less likely.

Fewer distractions and can concentrate more on schoolwork and enjoy mixing outside school. I would recommend although DS ( who didn't have much of a social life) wouldn't.

nowahousewife · 16/07/2014 22:54

Both mine are at single sex schools but were chosen as they are both superb schools. They just happen to be single sex.

That said neither of mine have problems mixing with the other sex both having loads of mates of the other gender.

Mintyy · 16/07/2014 22:55

"I think the idea of single sex schools is just odd. It seems very old fashioned. I know that girls are meant to do better at single sex schools but I can't get my head around why."

Can you really not?

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