Will i spoil my children?

[DogCalledRudis]

I do buy stuff that i like.
A few week ago i bought a Toothless dragon.
Yesterday i bought a kickboard scooter from Germany. My DC will love it.
Lego... Don't even mention, i keep just buying them...

As long as you sometimes tell them 'no' and stick to it, then they will be fine.

Is this one of those joke threads people keep bangin on about?

I can't reply, I'm an absolute hypocrite. Say I think it's stupid to spoil kids and teach them they are entitled to absolutely everything they want... and then go and buy stuff for my dc that they don't need just cause I think they will like it.

To be fair, this doesn't happen often, maybe a few times a year and they only get really special/expensive stuff at Christmas and birthdays. But still, I am a hypocrite so no comment lol

I don't do lots of buying but my DW does (both women, gay relationship). I think it's because she works away and likes to do something lovely for DD when she can't be at home. I understand that totally but I do find it a bit difficult at times.

I certainly avoid expensive treats aside from Christmas and birthdays. I think it is lovely that Dd is still thrilled to see that I have bought her a doughnut when she gets in from school or occasionally treat her to the odd dress/pair of socks or something like that when we are out. She certainly does not appear to be spoilt and yet she has alot of people around her that buy her things. I have always been at great pains to tell her how fortunate we are that we can buy occasional treats plus she gets a very modest amount of pocket money.

I buy lots and lots of things for my dd, always have, always will. She is the sweetest, kindest, most down to earth young lady and I think she's fab so whenever I see something nice I think she would like then I buy it for her.

She has lots of possessions but isn't spoilt. I do struggle to find enough fab things for Christmas and birthday but, hey, if I put my mind to it then I can usually come up with oodles of fab stuff eventually :D

I struggle with this too, my DSD is 8 and as I don't have children of my own (yet - we have one on the way), I pick up bits here and there when I spot them. I've started holding back now, but rather than leaving it in the shop, I still get it, and then me and OH stash it away to be brought out as a surprise when she does something awesome and unexpected, i.e gets a Headteachers Award at school, or proactively does something that we don't expect her to do or have asked her to do (e.g. caring for others, creating impressive pieces of creative work outside of school etc).

Any big things, we put away for birthdays and Christmas to avoid the massive outlay at the end of the year (Feb birthday, and this one is due Feb too!).

But this is only recent months, and me and OH are big kids too, and we buy stuff for ourselves, and think it's not fair for her to miss out just because we've bought ourselves some expensive Lego...

I think toys and clothes are fine but just don't teach your children to be snobbish and elitist because they have nice things. Not that I'm accusing anyone here of doing that.

Glad I'm not the only grown up who buys themselves lego :)

I buy a lot for my children, mostly small things, but if I see something big that's a bargain then I wouldn't hesitate. My twins are almost four and aren't spoiled.

I don't buy sweets and magazines in shops, and often say no to ice cream requests etc. they definately know not to expect and that no means no. But it seems wrong to not get them new toys/outdoor stuff except at birthdays and Christmases; they change so much between these landmark events that new things become more appropriate. I guess that will be less the case as they get older and change less quickly.

It depends on the attitude of the kids- if it was just a matter of possessions then all the rich kids would be spoilt and all the skint kids wouldn't be.

My kids have a lot of possessions but I don't find them to be the least bit spoilt. Admittedly, they realise that they would stop getting 'stuff' at the slightest sniff of them being bratty or entitled.

I think there is a risk it could back fire during teenage years as a friend has found out to her cost recently. Huge sense of entitlement in both her DC's but especially one of them. At nearly 18 is quite ingrained and a terrible lack of respect for her Mother at the moment.

Friend bitterly regrets buyng them so much and woukd tell you to be careful. She fell into the trap of wanting them to have everything she never had.

Hmm... Tricky one. I know I am spoiling DS (aged almost 6) by buying him a small toy every time we go to shops together. He now feels entitled to have something at each outing and kicks up a fuss if I say no. Rod and back...... So I am now working on weaning him off this and trying to get him into saving pocket money (which he won't do because 'mummy you can just get new money from the machine I don't need to save them'!!!!)

I guess it depends on the child's personality, but overall I would recommend caution....