Can anything possibly be U when it comes to PFBs?

[CeliaLytton]

Lots and lots of threads where parents don't understand why the rules should apply to them and their children, but surely there are some circumstances where this is true? So why is there not a decisive list/guide, like Debrett's, so that we all know what is acceptable?

Is it acceptable to demand a Big Mac at 9am because that is all baby will eat? Or do you just accept that they only serve breakfast at that time?

A Big Mac is harder to rustle up than a couple of slices of toast don't like threads about threads!

Toast you can make at home and bring with you if that truly is all baby will eat esp if you are out at lunchtime so hight chance no one will be offering you it

If it's unreasonable for a childless person to ask for it it's usually unreasonable for a patent to ask for it... The world and it's dog do not revolve around children ;-)

I say that as a pfb parent who judges entitled to everything as I have a child parents and finds them lacking

Patent- parent lol

I don't think it's a Pfb thing. I've met entitled buggers with four children who think the world should revolve around thier dc.

I take the view that no one else gives a shit about my dc and what they require and why should they? I don't expect to be pandered to and nor do my children (well, the baby might but my 11 year old doesn't).

It is unreasonable to think the world should revolve around your child. Now if somewhere can and will make an adjustment then great... But they don't have to (in most cases!)

There should be a book.

It is acceptable to have a child free wedding
It is acceptable to request that your 6 wo ebf baby be allowed to attend
It is unacceptable to allow baby to scream through the ceremony but not remove him because 'he has the same rights as the other guests'
It is acceptable to bring baby food with you
It is unacceptable to demand that the hotel purée an extra main course for said baby

Same for p&c parking. Same for kids in restaurants, theatres etc.

That kind of thing. Although would possibly be the end of AIBU...

Is this about Sainsburys café refusing to do a slice of toast? I didn't think it was too much to ask for, if I ran a café I'd be more than happy to pop a slice of bread in the toaster and charge 50p.
If this is about the Cedar Falls spa then it was U to expect an adult only establishment to accommodate a baby.
No book needed just common sense.

I'd like to see the end of telling people they can't have an opinion/worry/preference/anxiety about their child because they are just being PFB. I think that's wanky.

But that's the thing, there is obviously a need for a book as common sense to me dictates that you only request what is advertised as being available, except in extreme circumstances. That goes for lots of things, not just asking for food in cafés.

Lots of us think we are bestowed with common sense but the vast range of replies to posts about all sorts of topics makes me think that our versions of common sense do not tally

With the toasters used in cafés it's not normally as simple as "stick a slice in" - often they need time to warm up, the plug socket may be being used for something else etc

Why would you only request what's advertised? I often ask if something could be done/supplied differently and in most cases people/companies are happy to oblige. If they can't I don't throw a hissy fit, I either accept what's offered or go elsewhere.

Sirzy yes I know what you mean they might have one of those conveyor belt type toasters that take ages and not practical for a single slice. If that was the case I'd say OK no worries.

We could write a little book of AIBU that parents could keep in their changing bags and then whip out to consult should a situation arise where they are unsure.

"Common sense to me dictates that you only request what is advertised as being available"

I don't really agree with this. I think it's fine to request something that's not advertised provided that:

a) it's something relatively simple to provide, and

b) you don't kick up an almighty fuss if the request is refused.

e.g. DS1 refused to drink bottles of milk unless they were warmed to body temperature. If he wanted a bottle of milk when we were in a cafe etc, I'd usually ask for a jug of hot water to warm his milk in. That wasn't ever advertised as a service but I don't think it's a particularly unreasonable request.

Or, our local soft play place sell children's lunch packs. These come with a yoghurt. They don't advertise single yoghurts for sale, but will sell them separately if requested. Again, not an unreasonable request.

Why would you only request what's advertised? I often ask if something could be done/supplied differently and in most cases people/companies are happy to oblige. If they can't I don't throw a hissy fit, I either accept what's offered or go elsewhere.

That's fine. I think the issues come where people won't accept it and make sometimes mountains out of molehills

I visit another country regularly where veggie options can be provided in many restaurants, but they don't have them on the menu. Should I sit silently eating a lettuce leaf, or should I ask if possible to make the pasta without the meat, etc?

No, you're absolutely right, it is fine to request something not advertised, but not to complain if it is then not provided. I was thinking of things that are specifically not advertised, such as asking for a breakfast at 3pm when they state that they only serve breakfast til 11, or asking to bring your 7yo into the soft play which is for 5yo and under. I appreciate that some might still ask but it wouldn't occur to me, I usually decide where to go and what to do based on soemwhere I like the look of which provides what I am after.

But yes, by all means ask, just don't fuss if your request is denied.

It's not a PFB thing, it's a sleep deprivation thing. By the time you're that sleep deprived you'll sell your soul from a break. :)

Or sell your baby? That could solve all the problems

I just wish those with their PFB would learn how to steer their buggies (they aren't prams, they are buggies) and not keep crashing into me.

I think there is a big difference between expecting the world to revolve around and bend over backward for your PFB and hoping for a little bit of help, understanding, flexibility etc. As far as toast goes, ordinary cafe I would hope could accommodate a request but I get why Sainsburys couldn't but a lot of other things like heating babyfood etc is a minefield. H&S is used as an excuse for not helping; lots of places DO so there's no real reason why some CAN'T and its not always as simple as "don't go there then" - you may be in a strange town, or the baby is screaming. There are so many threads about people just needing a bit of human kindness, help with a buggy up stairs or something and they get "how dare you expect anyone to help you ever with YOUR child which YOU chose to have".. just think the world would be a damn sight nicer if we all just unclenched a little bit about the "rules" and "letter of the law" all the time.