School contact - AIBU or are they?

[shelsco]

After receiving ds1's report on Saturday I emailed Head of Year as we have been engaged in an ongoing battle with school regarding giving him necessary access arrangements. School were basically not following regulations and ignoring our requests for meetings and any emails we sent. We got LEA to intervene and they felt we were right and advised school to follow regulations. They told us to contact school to confirm this-we did so by email and received (yet again) no response.

So, DS's report had quite a few concerns relating to lack of access arrangements so I emailed Head of Year who gave info and answered questions but said I needed to get in touch with SENCo. Also said (making it clear that it wasn't his view) that deputy head (who was person who stepped in for SENCo and gave all the wrong info) has asked that we don't contact school anymore via email but instead write a letter if we want to contact the school, the implication being that we

are harassing them. In fact, we have contacted them only 3 times since March. The first time was after the deputy failed to attend the meeting with us he had organised and we were told to email our questions to him (no response). The second time was after the independent parent partnership had intervened and advised that we email our concerns to head (no answer to questions or sharing of info but received a letter saying correct procedures followed). Third time was three weeks ago (on advice of LEA) to SENCo because still no info has been given to us regarding the change in situation after LEA intervention. So, IABU to think that asking us not to email any more is completely out of order? 3 emails in 2 months is hardly harassment. can school enforce anything if I ignore his request?

Are you sure that's the train they've asked you to stop emailing? I just wondered if it might be because deputy head's not v. good at feeling with email (as you've discovered) and is more likely to get round to responding to a letter? Either way sounds like communication with the school is unacceptably poor.

Sorry, reason not train.

Write a letter and send it as an e-mail attachment. E-mails alone can be a little too informal, if it's something more formal they need.

Yeah letter as an email might be an idea. The deputy did initially request that we contact him by email. It is the common practice in the school and he did answer the first couple. In fact he only failed to answer those which didn't say what he wanted! He hasn't asked me to stop emailing him (I did that in May). He asked me to stop emailing the school. It is only now that he hasn't done his job properly that he has suddenly asked that we stop! I certainly don't think he wants anything more formal. Less formal or more easy to lose is my suspicion! All the emails I sent were written as formal letters anyway.

Are they a LA school or an academy. It sounds like they are accusing you of being vexatious which can be a really hard label to shake off.

Just make sure you copy in the LA and parent partnership etc into all emails and keep them polite. Always have a paper trail showing that you are being entirely reasonable. Email them (or write a letter,) copied to the LA, 'confirming' your conversation ie, 'Just to confirm that you have requested that we don't email school at all and we must keep all correspondence to (registered) post. Have we got that correct or have we misunderstood?' etc.

They are accusing us of being vexatious but we have been completely reasonable and the LEA hae told us as much. I know it is a hard label to shake off but what do we do? Allow them to break the law and discriminate against ds? WE are a now iwn situation really. If we write letters they will probably get 'lost' and if we write emails we will be accused of being vexatious. tbh I hardly think 3 (unanswered) emails is vexatious but how do you avoid that label unless you basically do what they want and allow ds to be treated completely unfairly?
I think the copying to the parent partnership and LEA is probably a good idea though.

Send a registered letter, that way you have proof, plus you are not emailing.
Are they blocking him having access because they don't have the ability to implement it, or because they think he doesn't need it?
I can understand why you are so upset, it can be hard trying to do your best for your child when you feel like you have to fight all the time for help if it is needed.

No, it doesn't sound like you are at all unreasonable. Just keep sounding polite and reasonable, keep LA in the loop, use registered post etc. In the meantime, if the relationship has broken down this much, could you consider changing schools? I know it may be unfeasible and seems like giving up, but if this school doesn't want to help your DC, maybe it's time to cut your losses? Especially if the LA is on side?

Carry in with emails because they are the best format for you. Write a letter if complaint to the govenors outlining the issues and the LEA's response. The head will have to act. Hand delivered letters can conveniently 'get lost' and may not be viewed by ofsted as a result. Emails are easily logged and traced.

You are not being unreasonable. You have the upper hand at the moment so keep it by writing a polite and formal letter. Good luck!

Follow the formal complaints procedure

Thanks, I need people to tell me I'm not going mad. It all sounds so ridiculous. DS is half way through his GCSE course (Year 10) so can't change schools or I would. Am worried about complaints procedure as I'm not sure but I think school may be doing the right thing as LEA have just intervened and told SENCo to record the evidence we have in order to prove DS needs extra time (school wouldn't before as said he was too bright!!). I just want to find out if this is happening because school haven't told us anything so the last we heard was that he was just worrying about nothing. I'm concerned that they have told the LEA that they would record it but (because they won't tell us one way or the other) are going to leave it until before his exams then say they didn't have the evidence.

School change to an academy this September but I raised concerns with Head in letter (copied to chair of governors but no response) and he said that was satisfied that correct procedures were being followed. Basically hadn't even looked into it, just assumed SENCo was right! SENCo and deputy have shown themselves to be quite vindictive so worried that if I complain they will do all they can to make sure DS doesn't get the time he needs. At the moment I have no idea if they are following LEA advice and just not telling me or pretending to follow it but not.

All emails have been polite but because the school have been so unreasonable, even listing facts sounds quite damning. I don't want to stir up trouble. I just want ds to get what he needs and school to confirm this will happen.