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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to reply to teacher.....

35 replies

Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:17

My dd year 4 has had a terrible year at school due to teacher taking a dislike to her, we've been into school many times...... So, dd school report comes home and her grades are fab, however comments from teacher are just ok.
She has said she has enjoyed teaching dd..... Which is clearly not the case.
So, I have to acknowledge the report and I can write a comment.... Do I write a comment, if so what do I put.?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/07/2014 11:18

It's hard to say with such little info.

What makes you think the teacher has taken a dislike to her?

MrsWinnibago · 15/07/2014 11:20

We need a bit more background...

Goldmandra · 15/07/2014 11:20

We are very proud of the grades DD has achieved this year and look forward to a positive all round experience for her in her next school year.

Very PA I know.

Fragglewump · 15/07/2014 11:20

That you hope that next time she experiences a personality clash with a pupil she handles it without blaming it all on the child? (That is assuming it is actually all the teachers fault and you dd is not a pain in the bum at school!) if you have been called into school for many fabricated reasons then why have you not escalated this victimisation earlier?

Mrsgrumble · 15/07/2014 11:20

We were trained not to write a comment such as that. Personally, I would leave it. Just write a comment acknowledging that you received the report and looking forward to next year.

Original poster
Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:23

We have been into school as dd was coming home everyday crying as teacher had shouted at her, told her to leave class, threatened her, ..... Now, I know some of you may think she deserved that treatment..... If you knew my dd you would think otherwise. She adores school, is respectful to adults, loves to learn..... No issues ever in school.
When I spoke to head teacher I did say if dd was naughty then I would back off but head teacher was insistent that she wasn't a naughty girl.
I have witnessed teacher being cruel to dd and a couple of others but is lovely to her favourites.....it's clear as day to see.
Also, it's not unheard if about this teacher.....

OP posts:
Original poster
Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:24

We have never been called into school.....

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 15/07/2014 11:33

Threatened her? With what? How?

Wonc · 15/07/2014 11:33

I would go with Goldmandra's suggestion.

I had a sadistic racist teacher when I was a child. He was so awful to me. And others. No one listened.
I have since found out that he was an alcoholic. It all makes sense now.

Original poster
Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:40

Threatened with all sorts.....the head teacher admitted it was always a risk to put this teacher in place due to emotional issues.....
Teacher was screaming in the face ofanother child a few weeks ago, screaming to the point that other children started crying... Another teacher had to come in and send teacher out and deal with upset class.....the teacher is very very shouty.

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 15/07/2014 11:43

you won't change anything with your comment.
I would just acknowledge receipt.

echt · 15/07/2014 11:44

OP, you...er..overuse the…ellipsis to accuse the teacher based on what…you have witnessed..that you don't describe. So vague.

You piss and moan about the report. There is no discrepancy between excellent attainment and being a pain in the arse.

echt · 15/07/2014 11:46

OP, just out all the points you've made, with name, dates and exact shouty -ness to the HT.

Original poster
Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:50

Echt- I really don't get your point..

OP posts:
QuietlyCurious92 · 15/07/2014 11:53

I would flip if a teacher screamed in my d's face to the point she was crying, as well as the whole class. A change of school and formal complaint to the head/education authority's would also be happening.

And to clarify, my dd can be a nightmare at home but an angel in nursery, doesn't matter how bad a child acts up though, screaming in their face is way way out of order!

HibiscusIsland · 15/07/2014 11:53

What has she threatened your daughter with?

MrsWinnibago · 15/07/2014 11:55

Why worry about what to write when you should be worrying about getting this teacher out of a place where children are meant to be happy and fulfilled? Confused Write to the governors and demand an enquiry. You may save another child some misery.

echt · 15/07/2014 11:57

Report everything you've said here. With names and dates.

All your ellipsis(es) will only add to your lack of specificity, e.g

"Threatened with all sorts.....the head teacher admitted it was always a risk to put this teacher in place due to emotional issues.....
Teacher was screaming in the face ofanother child a few weeks ago, screaming to the point that other children started crying... Another teacher had to come in and send teacher out and deal with upset class.....the teacher is very very shouty."

The HT would be right back saying this is vague. You need to help your case.

Fragglewump · 15/07/2014 11:58

Whoa - suddenly this is a whole new ball game. I would be suggesting to the head that it's not appropriate to take risks with teachers and that if the teachers inadequacies are not addressed then you will be making a complaint to the school governors and the lea.

Igggi · 15/07/2014 11:58

How are comments just ok if she's said she enjoys teaching her? That's quite a complement!
It is hard to know quite what is going on from your posts, but clearly meetings with the school need to take place, not just some wee comment on a report.

Original poster
Lukat · 15/07/2014 11:58

The school so far has been amazing and the rest of the teachers are great, and dd has been happy and has many many friends.
The head took our complaint seriously..... I've not heard if she will be teaching next year.
As for threats.... She been threatened with the head, a call home, lose breaks, to not attend a trip..... I don't believe in threats if you can't follow them up, also with these threats I would expect dd behaviour to be terrible.... Like I said I've never been called into school and parents evenings have always been ok.

OP posts:
Igggi · 15/07/2014 12:00

I cannot imagine a head commenting like that about a staff member. Teacher well within rights to put in a complaint - I take it the reference to "emotional issues" refers to some kind of mental health issues.

Igggi · 15/07/2014 12:01

I'm sorry but saying you'll be sent to the head etc is not a "threat" as most people use the term, it's a consequence of an action. This teacher may be horrible and unfit to teach but your over-emotive language really clouds the issue imo.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2014 12:52

She been threatened with the head, a call home, lose breaks, to not attend a trip.....I don't believe in threats if you can't follow them up

This is completely normal, to get the kids to behave. I sincerely doubt the 'threats' are used on your child only.

What makes you think the teacher can't follow them up? Confused

Also, the kids have just come to the end of year 3 so they are getting older and may need a firmer hand.

However, given everything you've said about the teacher, I can't imagine why you're concentrating on what comment to make.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2014 12:55

End of year 4 I meant

Therefore, they will be 9yrs old. So as much as behaviour might have been great in the past, as they get older the teachers often have to get stricter with them.

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