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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

blahhh - love DH.....love DC....but aibu to want DH to "want" to do more?

5 replies

danielsmum81 · 14/07/2014 21:04

So DH does everything round the house...I work...works well to a point but now he's starting to be a bit of PITA...e.g. he's started talking about wanting to want to be valued etc (in addition to what he currently does - and yes I do regularly tell him how much I appreciate him)...as one would in a job situation. Fine. Go out and work then. Only he can't/won't.

I understand it may well be (most likely is) as confidence thing but he can't understand that to get a job in today's market one needs a thick skin and needs to take more than one rejection before giving up. Even being employed in London and recently moving roles I know how tough it is so I sympathise with someone being out of the market but it's still possible!
I don't know what to suggest...I'm at my wits end...easy to say that if roles were reversed I'd do any number of roles that are currently available (albeit "below" my capabilities) and therein (I think) lies the problem - regardless of my background/education I'd do whatever if I were in his situation (looking after DC, out of FT work for a number of years) because I've been there before and don't have issues with what I do for money (though within reason :) ) but he does...Stresses about not having ready cash but can't face a "lesser" job...Man what do I do?

OP posts:
VanitasVanitatum · 14/07/2014 21:08

What does he want in order to feel valued? It sounds like he pulls his weight at least.

danielsmum81 · 14/07/2014 21:14

He does pull his weight - he's fab, don't get me wrong! This is about his unhappiness. I think he needs something for himself - he sees me with a job and it's easy to desire that (even though it might not be the best thing in the world...) I guess because it's "mine"

OP posts:
creampie · 14/07/2014 22:12

Could he do some sort of volunteering/charity stuff if it's more about the self esteem than the money?

Purplepoodle · 14/07/2014 23:04

As I told my dh in the same situation - only tou can change this and make a difference so either do something in which I will support you any way it can or shut up

SantanaLopez · 14/07/2014 23:06

You sound a bit unsympathetic and I think he's probably picking up on that no matter what you actually say to him.

It's shit when you can't see yourself returning to work.

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