More upset than I should be, really.

[PrincessTeacake]

I was just informed by text that I'm out of a job.

I work as a nanny, had recently started with this family and been with them for over a month. Their kids adored me and I'm very good at my job, have multiple excellent references and been told more than once that I was a parent's rock while they were raising their kids. But this has me doubting my skills now, I can't help feeling I've done something wrong.

The reason I was given was that they had been offered an au pair and the offer was too good to pass up, they needed to make a quick descision and they couldn't afford to pay me my going rate for more days. This happened to me last year too, all had been going well with the family for months and then they dismissed me because they were saving to buy a house.

To be perfectly honest, I am also concerned for my now ex-boss' kids. The babies have very particular needs and their older sister can be hard work, the au pair will have to be amazing to cope. I'm hoping she is, the older sister had become very attached to me and I won't have a chance to say goodbye to her or the babies.

You must be feeling a bit shaken by this but try not to take it personally. If they've cited financial reasons then its nothing you've done. I use a childminder but the cost is crippling me. As soon as I find a cheaper one I'll be giving her notice. I'm sorry you won't get to say goodbye, is there any way you could ask to be allowed to call in and talk to the DC?

I would think that the au pair is being used illegally.

Also have they broken the contract.

Didn't you have a contract and a notice period?

If not, go through an agency for your next job and make sure you get decent terms.

I'm sorry you're upset but it sounds like a done deal.
Surely you can pop in and say goodbye though?

I think you'd have to be very thick skinned to not be upset by that.

If you're really questioning your skills, then you may just have to bite the bullet and ask them if you've done something that they didnt agree with. Although their reason sounds plausable - nannies are more expensive. I dont think it's ok that you dont get to say goodbye to the children, and it's vertainly not ok that they sent you a text! Do you not have a contract with notice period?

Definitely hurtful, but not a reflection on your skills as a nanny, I don't think. Sounds purely financially motivated.

what is your notice period? can you insist on being paid?

Hoo boy, this is probably going to get me a flaming, and I can't say I don't deserve it.

I didn't have a written contract. I never have. Most of my jobs have been acquired through word of mouth and I've usually stayed in a job for over three years up to five years so it's never really presented a problem. We agreed on our terms verbally during the interview and sorted out pay, expectations et al to both our satisfaction and I had no problems. Just the other day she told me she was enjoying her time with her children more because she knew when she left they were in good hands.

The pay issue doesn't bother me, this is a vocation for me and I do it because I love it. I can live off my savings until I get a new position. I even understand when I've had to have contracts terminated for financial reasons, life happens and its hard with three small children. I'm just a bit shocked at how sudden it was, I think, which made me wonder if I'd done something.

I don't think I'll try to see the kids to say goodbye, the new au pair has started as of this morning and I don't want to upset them while she's trying to get used to a new job.

Princess, no flaming from me, but do get a written contract in future to avoid no-notice dismissals. As a pp said, unless you worked quite short hours, it doesn't sound like a legal au lair arrangement, and the sole care of children with additional needs sounds like a challenge for an unqualified young person.

Having no contract is never an issue until it is an issue. Just like insurance, it's there for when things don't work out well. Contract next time.

This is bad form for any employer but for someone whom you entrust the care of your children it is unbelievable.

It is also cruel and destabilising for the children not to say good bye and to have so many carers. Especially if they have extra needs.

I'm sorry this happened to you but at least you aren't working for someone who cares that little anymore.

Good luck in your new role, with your references it won't be long.

You do have a contract.

www.gov.uk/employment-contracts-and-conditions/overview

You were probably entitled to a weeks notice
www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4096

You could insist on a week's pay.

what about your national insurance and pension contributions?

I'm in Ireland. It was a part time position with limited hours, looking to be increased in the near future so we hadn't worked out the tax yet. Because my living conditions are unusual (working two counties away from home, commuting up and staying overnight alternately in boss's house and a local B+B) I had agreed to a small pay cut in return for use of their spare room one night a week. We were going to work out the ins and outs properly after I'd been there a while and boss had been back at work for a while.

Again, the money is not what bothers me, my savings will cover my bills for a while and I live in the family home with my father, he's not taking rent from me while I'm unemployed. In the meantime I'll be taking casual jobs from families I've already worked for, night babysitting and emergency childcare and the like until I find something more substantial.

Like ICanSeeTheSun, I also imagine this new au pair is working under-the-table!

How horrific they would trade you for an unqualified person to save a few bob when their children's care is at stake!

Very cowardly to text you your resignation.

Good luck with your next position - sounds like the next family will be lucky to have you.