To be peed off with DH this weekend?

[pinkflamingos]

Sometimes my DH will get something into his head that he wants to buy or do, and will get obsessed with the topic, spending endless time researching online and talking about it constantly. In the past it has been things such as getting new kitchen flooring, doing an extension, and wanting to watch an entire series of a tv show.

A few days ago, he decided it would be nice for us to have a holiday in a couple of months time. Before anyone says I'm lucky because he wants to take me on holiday, the holiday will be paid for from our savings, which we have both earned/saved. I am happy to go on holiday but don't want it to be our only topic of conversation at the moment.

He has spent 95% of this weekend researching online about various holidays, and then telling me about them. I am then expected to stand by the computer and ooh and aaah and listen to him reading Trip Advisor reviews out to me loudly.

He has done absolutely nothing this weekend either in the house or with the children. I have done everything as he has just been sitting there. I have asked him nicely several times to come off the computer and to do other things, but he has just ignored me.

He doesn't understand why I am now pissed off with him.

I have one a bit like that. Pisses me off,the fad never ever lasts.

Mine does that. The twat! (Love him really)

ExDP did this but in a good way. If we needed to look for car insurance for example, he would spend hours ringing different companies and researching online until he found the best deal. I can't be bothered and will just take the first reasonable offer going. Can see how it must be annoying though. Just let him get on with it

Oh no, I think I do that!

I always think investing a little bit more time into getting an even better deal/ nicer item has to be worth it. Of course it can go on far too long and the price sometimes escalates wildly as I find ever nicer things.

I hope DP doesn't find it too annoying

My dh does that too.

Currently he's into fucking war hammer with ds. He sits on his I pad reading about painting stupid figures.

When I was pregnant he got obsessed with reusable nappies, then pushchairs. It's always something.

My DH does that too - until he gets so overwhelmed by the choice that he gives up - so a whole weekend is wasted. Then, a few weeks down the line he will suddenly think 'holiday' again and start the whole sorry process all over again.

Yep, this is my DP too. Cars and holidays are the topics here at the moment.

See if you can persuade him to go self employed - it is a great way of realising the value of your time e.g If I spent an hour searching for car insurance that's £20 cheaper, I am still out of pocket compared to having spent that hour working, so it focusses your attention.

However, if he enjoys doing stuff like that, then I think there needs to be a limit on how much time he can spend doing it - most of us would enjoy a long lie-in and a day spent lounging around MNing, watching TV or reading a book cover to cover, but if you have small children and a household that needs to be kept ticking over then you need to pull your weight. Dressing up your 'you time' as something for the family isn't an option.

Meant to put a smiley after my self employment suggestion - it is probably the worst thing you can do if you can lose a day trawling the internet for a holiday!

Oh dear op you have my sympathy as dp can get like this at times.

My suggestion is turn off the Internet. Unplug and hide if necessary (wherever you keep the loo roll cos if my house is normal kids and men have no idea where it is)

Good luck!

YANBU

My main gripe is that he has done nothing in the house or with the DCs all weekend. He's barely even communicated with any of us really unless it's been about holidays.

I would love to just sit around all day on the internet but it's not an option for me, whilst DH seems to think he can pick and choose when he engages with us or does anything.

Just out of interest why isn't it an option??

Dp made a few scathing remarks about him going out to work while I laze around at home with dd all day a few weeks back, unfortunately I then came down with a d&v virus and he had to take a day off work to look aftersdd while I curled up in bed and felt vile.

He hasn't said anything about me being a sahm since and now actively helps as he reckons I have the harder job especially when his older two are here too

Mine does that. it can be anything really. He has an inquiring mind and likes to find out about things and be well- informed. He is genuinely interested in things. We have great conversations.

But, when he can't sleep and wakes me up at some godforsaken hour to 'chat' I sometimes find it hard to show much interest although I might well be at a different time of day.

I do this though. DP doesn't and he doesn't find it annoying... I'm obsessing about new houses (we don't live together) as i'm ready to move away from my parents and he's not. He knows I get giddy about it so lets me rant about things. as if it annoys people

This is me! I have to check reviews and do thorough research before doing anything (and that's how I ended up on MN )

Lol this is me too! "What have you done today darling?" "I have another short list of paint/kitchen units/holidays for you to look at"