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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to tip a bucket of cold water over dps head??

23 replies

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 08:43

He went out last night for a "couple of drinks".
he rolled in at 3am which wouldn't normally bother me, but then he fell over in the bathroom which woke dd (8 months) up. I went in to check on him and he was covered in sick and past out on the floor. I left him there.

this morning dd wakes up at 6.30am as usual, and i have to kick him out the bathroom as i need to wee. He tries to climb back into bed but i told him he can't as he has to clear himself and the bathroom up first, which he does.
me and dd get up, and he gets up with us but then passes out on th sofa. I have a million things to do this morning so need him to watch dd but everytime i leave the room, he falls asleep again!!!

when i go out i still get up with dd as usual and look after her as normal, no special treatment for me (i wouldn't expect it either)

oh, and when i tried to wake him up a minute ago and had a bit of a go at him as i left the room and dd started crying and he had fallen asleep, he actually had the nerve to call me a dickhead.

OP posts:
Bardette · 13/07/2014 08:45

Why on earth are you with this charmer?

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 08:46

Right now im asking myself the same question!!! This is very out of character of him.

OP posts:
Phoenix2014 · 13/07/2014 08:47

Is this a one off or has it happened before?
Him calling you a dickhead is way off.

Frusso · 13/07/2014 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pillowaddict · 13/07/2014 08:49

That's extremely disrespectful to call you that. Many of us have occasions where we drink too much and suffer the consequences but it's not on to blame your partner. However, if he is in no fit state to watch dd/have an adult conversation I would be tempted to go out for a lovely morning and lunch next time he falls asleep and leave him a note telling him how passed off I am. But that is quite passive aggressive (and I most likely would have caved and shouted at him by now).

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 08:50

He cant handle his alcohol and doesn't know his limits, similar things have happened before but not for a very long time as he rarely drinks alot. I go on nights out much more than him, but i still look after my responsibility's.

the dickhead comment really wound me up.

OP posts:
Humansatnav · 13/07/2014 08:51

He is still pissed, I wouldn't trust him with your dd right now, but this afternoon when hes sober give it to him with both barrels!

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 08:52

When i say i have lots to do, i mean around the house so im not leaving him in sole charge of dd.

we are going to a christening today so i cant just leave him and go out for the day.

OP posts:
unrealhousewife · 13/07/2014 08:52

Kick him out and tell him to come back when he's sobered up, the walk will do him good. If he calls you any names ever again you will kick him out for good.

Tell him to prove to you he's not an alcoholic by never doing anything like that again. How often does he drink?

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 08:58

Doesn't drink very often, but when he does he cant handle it and doesn't know his limits and tries to keep up with "the big boys" iyswim.

OP posts:
itispersonal · 13/07/2014 09:05

Imo quite ott responses you've had back.

Yes, it is bloody annoying he came home at 3am in a mess. But if it is a one off send him back to bed as he's neither use nor ornament and you'll want him semi functional at the christening. Then discuss it later, how he hasn't been responsible. No point arguing with a probably still drunk, over tired and hung over person.

Though in return I would expect an extra day lie in, morning off. If you share lie ins on Dp/ yours day offs

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 13/07/2014 09:08

He's not going to be able to help you today. Accept it. Send him back to bed. Get yourself and dd ready for the christening. Give him merry hell later (when he'll be sober enough to understand you)

This is not me saying he's done nothing wrong by the way. He's been a twatbadger , but you're really not going to gain anything by expecting him to do anything useful today.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 13/07/2014 09:12

How old is he?

Who cleaned up the sick?

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 09:14

We don't really share lie ins, i get the occasional one when i feel i need it.

he's had a week off this week and ive had one lie in till 8am and the rest of the week he's got up between 8am and 10am.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 13/07/2014 09:17

If you never get lie ins you need to renegotiate the terms of your partnership.

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 09:17

I haven't checked the bathroom yet but i wont be cleaning up his sick.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 13/07/2014 09:20

He should do the Get Ups after your nights out. They arent your responsibilities - they are shared parental responsibilities.

Urgh I wouldnt drag him to the christening though. Imagine sitting next to him with the booze sweats Sad

tigermoll · 13/07/2014 12:03

If he was drunk enough to sleep on the bathroom floor in his own sick, then he was dangerously drunk.

There is no point either discussing anything with him, or 'punishing' him - just put him to bed. Let him miss the christening and when you come home, it should be to a clean bathroom and a sobered and penitent DH.

PivotPIVOT · 13/07/2014 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beautifullymixed · 13/07/2014 15:19

I agree with pivot

If this is a happy ,stable relationship then just shrug this off. He's probably feeling bad enough and that's a good punishment in itself.

Holding on to your bad feelings all day will only make you feel horrible and resentful.
Leave some of the things until another day if you can and think positive thoughts so you can enjoy the christening.

Meanwhile, I would make a list of all the things you're owed by him starting tomorrow........

He will probably be feeling very guilty and eager to make it up to you Smile

Lj8893 · 13/07/2014 17:27

Well, we are back from the christening. We have just laughed it off and he agreed that he's an awful drinker and he really shouldn't try to keep up with the seasoned drinkers as its always going to end in tears!
he is well aware that he is in my debt at the moment though Wink

OP posts:
WowserBowser · 13/07/2014 17:35

Good! Next lie in is yours.

Humansatnav · 13/07/2014 17:37

Result Smile

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