To not let DD go on this sleepover?

[IDoAllMyOwnStunts]

Me and DH obviously think we are being totally reasonable, DD, although has took it on the chin, thinks not.

So, DD, 11yrs got a call from her friend (call her friend A) last night at 8pm asking her to sleep over at hers. I know her mum goes out in the evenings a lot and had a fishy feeling my daughter was being invited to sleepover as a babysitter for her DD, also
11yrs. So, it pissed me off as late to invite someone I think, and coupled with my other suspicions said no to DD.

Then tonight at 7pm my DD gets a call off same friend A asking if she can go now and sleepover at a mutual friends house (friend B) who I do not know. So, have again said no, I don't know this other girl, or her parents, and why is A ringing to ask rather than friend B who lives there.

It seems all at odds to me. Have explained why not to DD. Have no problem with her going to sleepovers, she's gone to loads but normally the parent texts me the day before or so to arrange. I think I am uneasy because no adults have been involved in this.

They are all in Yr 6 primary.
So AIBU and precious and should have just let her go?

n you are not being unreasonable
not a cat in hell's chance i would allow my nearly 11 year old to sleepover anywhere unless i a} knew the family b] had spoken to the parents and arranged it

Yanbu. Trust your gut feeling.

I would say Ill consider it (considering things means you've still got an out route) if I can speak to the mum, but it'd be an absolute no if no adults around.

I've found from this age onwards they're pretty good at cooking things up without clearing it with parents first. I've also learned to listen very carefully for the devil in the detail as opposed to half listening and murmuring a vague yes ( my old approach)

I would have to have spoken to a parent at the very least. Stand your ground. My dd would not go through the door under these circumstances.

Yanbu I would want the parents to ring me. Could you compromise by having your daughter invite a over for a sleepover at your house in the next couple of weeks?

Hi, thanks for the replies, has put my mind at rest that we're not being overprotective. If something doesn't feel right my thoughts are it probably isn't right.

And good idea thanks will tell her we can arrange another weekend in advance when they can stay here and will sort properly etc.

Gosh no you're not being precious at all, I'd have done the same as you.

YNBU. Your d.d is a little girl (your baby) of course you're going to want to know she's safe. You wouldn't be a mum if you didn't.