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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I right to be cross, all those years ago?

19 replies

Flossyfloof · 12/07/2014 15:31

You know how things sometimes stick in your mind from years ago and you sometimes wonder if you were right or not? What do you think?
I had been skiing and treated myself to a brand new ski suit, I think it cost just under £100. I wore it for my skiing holiday, for a week.
When I got back an acquaintance said that her daughter, who was living abroad, had been invited to ski one weekend - could she borrow my suit? Obviously, I wasn't using it and was happy to lend it.
A long time later, it turned out that actually she had used it a lot, not just for the one weekend for which I lent it. It had got badly ripped on the leg, the tear was about 6'' long. The girl had tacked the tear together with thread of a completely different colour. Her mother told me that the girl had tried to mend it and that she was willing to offer me £25 for the suit. (This, she said, was the cost of a second hand suit). I was really unhappy about this; my point was that I bought a new suit, not a second -hand one and that I had never intended to sell it anyway! In the end, we more or less fell out about it. I was moving house and she sent a cheque for £25. I never saw the suit again and am pretty sure I cashed the cheque.
Over the years I have thought about this - if I had damaged something belonging to someone else I would have been mortified and replaced it or offered the full value.
It happened so many years ago I know IABU now! - But WIBU then??

OP posts:
MildDrPepperAddiction · 12/07/2014 15:37

She should have either paid what you paid or replaced it with a new one.

BranchingOut · 12/07/2014 15:39

She should have replaced it as it was almost new when you lent it to her.

Flossyfloof · 12/07/2014 15:40

Hurrah! I was right, I was right! [pathetic emoticon)
I remember saying at the time "But it wasn't second-hand!"

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 12/07/2014 15:52

If you borrow something and damage it, you replace like with like. So if you borrow a new shiny thing, you replace with a new thing or give the money to replace.
If second hand suits were so cheap, why didn't she just buy one, instead of borrowing yours?!
I'd be annoyed in your place.

quietbatperson · 12/07/2014 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onedev · 12/07/2014 20:26

Agreed YWNBU Grin

JustSpeakSense · 12/07/2014 20:31

You were definitely NBU all those years ago!

Imagine how many people this mother and daughter duo have pissed off since then! And how many friends they've lost....

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/07/2014 21:25

She was rude and unreasonable.

CanaryYellow · 12/07/2014 21:37

You were right to be cross.

Now after all these years, let it go.

Finola1step · 12/07/2014 21:39

Yep, you were right.

emsyj · 12/07/2014 21:40

Agree, YWNBU but let it go now (safe in the knowledge that you were right!)

I borrowed some maternity clothes from a friend when expecting DD1. I ripped a dress. So I bought a new one in a similar style and gave it to my friend when I returned the bag of clothes. It's just what you do.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/07/2014 21:42

Yes you were right. Now go message her on facebook and bloody tell her!

[Just kidding. OP - I said just kidding - oh bugger what have you done!!!]

VerityWaves · 12/07/2014 21:45

What she did is disgusting. Really awful.

Loletta · 12/07/2014 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 12/07/2014 21:48

YANBU, she should have paid or replaced it, but at least she owned up to using it more than once, that she'd tried to mend the damage, and actually coughed up £25.

That has to count for something?

I've lent things out and nothing's been said about any damage when they've handed them back Angry That fucks me off more.

EurotrashGirl · 12/07/2014 21:50

This is why I don't lend things to people.

Chocchip88 · 12/07/2014 21:52

I borrowed an umbrella gold pushchair from a friend for a holiday we went on. Somehow I managed to snap it before we got on the plane.
I offered my friend either to buy her a new pushchair or the cash equivalent.

I was shocked by the number of friends who said I should just offer her £20 and made a mental note who not to lend things to.

runningonwillpower · 12/07/2014 21:52

No matter the rights and wrongs

FFS let it go!

QueenHaakonVII · 13/07/2014 01:01

Yawn but and it would bug me for ever more too.

Would you do the same thing now or would you insist on more money or a replacement?

I lent a friend a huge box of brio and I never got it back. It was at least 15 years ago but I have not forgotten. Blush. I think the thing that bugs me is not the other persons thoughtlessness but that I was a wuss and didn't deal with it. I am much better at sorting things out now.

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