The N word.

[ohmygodimginger]

There are a few seemingly petty issues I have with my husband - stuff I have to keep reminding him to do - put fruit leftovers in the yard bin instead of the kitchen bin (we had a problem with fruit flies last year), not leaving the washing in the machine to go musty, etc. Nothing major but typically his compliance is 0% and I'm annoyed that I have to keep saying the same thing over and over again.

AIBU to be annoyed or should I just get over it and suck it up?

I should say that in most other ways my husband is exemplary - he has not used the n word, nor would he ever, but I'm starting to feel like I'm n...... Nope, I can't even say it!

what's the N word?

This thread makes no sense

Nagging! I'm with you OP.

Is it nagging...

Maybe these things are important to him as they are to you?

Not sure why you couldn't type it though

Hey, OP, sometimes lightheartedness can just feel like so much hard work...

As a feminist, I have issues with the word. It seems I can think I'm doing it but I can't actually bring myself to say it!

Just wondered how others deal with 'stuck record syndrome'?

How dramatic op. Are you 5, nothing will happen if you say it.

Oh, I thought you meant the racist N word, that's why I was confused and a little shocked

I don't see why a feminist would have an issue with the word 'nagging' (let alone be unable to type it.)

It's a perfectly unisex word.

I tell my kids to stop nagging me (3 boys) and I tell my DH the same if he is indeed nagging me.

I've never seen it used towards one sex only.

But YABU to be fed up of living with someone who needs to be constantly nagged.

He sounds as though he just doesn't care.

Not being humourless, just wondered why you couldn't say/type it.

Sorry, no ideas how to change the situation, but yes, it can be frustrating

I'm so with you OP. It's bloody irritating as hell, I hate the word with a passion. Once my husband told me he didn't find me sexy when I nagged. .

Can you have a calm conversation say we do this because of that consequence, please either do it as well or accept the consequences, I am not going to talk about it anymore. And let his laundry get musty, he has to deal with the fruit flies etc.

I know that's grim and I'm sure you've had the conversation but I feel the more I remind him of stuff the more I am absolving him of the responsibility of thinking of it.

No drama. And yes, of course, I'm a married 5-year old.

Sorry, I meant 'YANBU' to be fed up.

Shit thread title5

Aga

No-one likes being nagged at
Maybe if he's not listening when you say the same thing over and over again, you need to change what you say or how you say it.

What % compliance would you like from your husband?

Compliance is not a good word to use in relation to your significant other. How would you feel if he used it in relation to you?

He isn't listening because he doesn't have to bother himself to remember - you will remember for him, even if that amounts to nagging..so why will he retain info.

Put a couple of big lists up on the wall where he can very clearly see. Or resolve yourself to talking at him re. certain tasks for the rest of your natural. Or even just put your foot down and tell him directly you are totally fed up with having to remind him to do simple tasks that would enable your household to function better, and give you less on your mind. Or, do the tasks yourself and leave him to what he DOES remember to do.

Can't think of anything else...

YABVVVU and disingenuous and silly and childish to write 'the N word' when to most people that means a specific racist word used to refer to a specific race and which is a highly offensive word.

When people say 'the N word' they do not just mean any word beginning with letter n

crap I thought you meant the racist n word and got very confused at your post. but childish to not say nagging really..

What happens when he doesn't do it? Can you set systems up so that the things that annoy you aren't allowed to happen. EG I hate putting the clothes out first thing if I do an overnight wash so I do a late night one, and put them out that night [check the weather forecast natch] and then they are already out and dried before lunchtime.