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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"The one who cooks is the one who shops"

59 replies

gwhappylife · 12/07/2014 13:35

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OP posts:
StillWishihadabs · 12/07/2014 16:40

How it works is I will say to dh what do you fancy cooking on x night ? He will reply y then I buy y's ingrediants less what we already have in.

littlejohnnydory · 12/07/2014 17:53

Not here because I'm the one home in the afternoons to cook and dh is the one who can drive. Used to do an online delivery until we realised we could halve the shopping bill by going to aldi.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/07/2014 17:57

Weird.

We do the meal plan together. We look at what else we need for said plan and himself trots off once a week to purchase said items. We kind of know what we need most weeks these days.

I cook, and he does the pots. He even puts the food away when he gets back. I have an allotment and we both share the work there as well.

Eating is a joint effort. Not a one sided affair in my opinion.

DoJo · 12/07/2014 18:21

I just buy a range of ingredients and then we use them to make whatever we feel like on the night. We don't throw much away, because I keep an eye on things which need to go in the freezer or be used up and come up with options based on those. I am another one who can't muster up enthusiasm for a meal days in advance, and nor can my husband, so we have well stocked store cupboards of non perishable items, lots of fresh veg which can be adapted to whatever we fancy and a freezer full of accompaniments.

DoJo · 12/07/2014 18:22

Meant to say that surely the title implies that only one person in any setting cooks at all, or are couples supposed to shop separately if they both cook as well?

Lucked · 12/07/2014 18:26

On the whole yes I agree. DH is the main cooks but he often decides what to cook by the deals on meat or what looks good and fresh. I am more a generic cook and use mince/chicken so it doesn't matter f I do end up doing a bit of the cooking on those nights but I won't cook the duck or beef incase it's not up to his standards.

runningonwillpower · 12/07/2014 18:26

In our house, he or she who shops gets to decide what goes on the table.

That's why I shop.

They don't get to argue.

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/07/2014 18:33

We both cook.He buys what he cooks.
I give him a list of stuff I want because he does the main shop, and I supplement it with local/market shopping.

Framboisier · 12/07/2014 18:52

I meal plan and do the online shop
DH cooks what's on the plan

Andrewofgg · 12/07/2014 19:13

I do nearly all the shopping; DW does rather more of the cooking. Your theory is not of universal application.

Artandco · 12/07/2014 19:22

Nope

Here we both add stuff we fancy to ocado shop as and when we remember, then one of us will add last bits based on what's already added and send to deliver. That's whoevers free.

Who cooks is either whoever gets home from work first starts, or if both home we cook together

I would be pissed off if both at home and dh just sat watching TV not helping, and he would be if I did the same. If ones busy ie bathing kids the other cooks but if both doing nothing really it's a joint effort

Normanpriceisnotarolemodel · 12/07/2014 19:39

I shop online. So I sit on the sofa and say 'what do you fancy this week/weekend?' He replies. I order. Whoever cooks, cooks.

Verystickypaws · 12/07/2014 21:20

Not in this house, we plan meals together and have a regular delivery.

Every week one of us starts a google doc and puts in a line for every day. It then gets shared between our google accounts. We're both responsible for putting meals in and as you put a meal in, put the things needed on the online order.

Weekdays tend to be quick and easy meals, for weekends we try to do something new, interesting or more complicated.

It works for us:
I enjoy cooking but often get bored by having to think of things to cook, it's one of those relentless tasks.
No one has the excuse to get out of food prep and cooking because "I didn't know what we were having". My teenager also has access to the google doc.
We end up eating more variety and more interesting food than when all the planning, cooking and shopping is dumped on one person.
We also don't waste much food.

morethanpotatoprints · 12/07/2014 21:23

My dh does the shopping mostly and I do the cooking mostly.
We don't need to meal plan.
It doesn't really matter to us who does what.

weeblueberry · 12/07/2014 21:37

Depends how rich we're feeling. DP cooks but when he goes shopping he always spends about £30 extra because he sees things he fancies and buy a whole loads of other stuff off the list.

I treat it like a military procedure though and literally only buy what's on the meal plan list.

But we make the plan together because we both want input into what we might fancy etc..

lljkk · 12/07/2014 22:03

I ask him what he wants & I shop (he cooks).
We've found that the @ home parent buys way less than the WOHP, though.

pourmeanotherglass · 12/07/2014 22:13

DH shops (because he has a day off in the week), we share the cooking. If I want to cook something out of the ordinary I let him know what ingredients I need. Would seem a bit mean to make him do all the cooking just because he has time to do the shop.

Iconfuseus · 12/07/2014 22:42

I do all the meal planning and cooking in our house. I rather enjoy it and DH is not really interested in food.

Mind you, once long ago I sent him out with the vague instructions of getting something for dinner and he came back with a bag of stuff worthy of a Masterchef invention test. I learnt my lesson and never did it again.

CalamitouslyWrong · 12/07/2014 22:45

I cook, shop and put away food (I hate the putting the stuff away when you get in from the supermarket but). DH gets to clear the table and load the dishwasher after meals. And laundry and hoovering (but you don't have to do that every night like cooking).

HappyCria · 12/07/2014 22:51

I do the shop online based on what is on offer and meal plan around that.

The meals get cooked in the order of things going out of date and they are cooked by which ever one of us is home from work first which is mainly dh on the days I work.

diddl · 15/07/2014 16:46

Perhaps if the other person can't read a list??

sonlypuppyfat · 15/07/2014 16:55

DH brings the cash in, I do everything.

Groovee · 15/07/2014 16:59

I need dh to help me shop as I am disabled.

We meal plan then we shop. We share cooking depending on if I am having a bad day or not.

MrsKoala · 15/07/2014 17:06

That's how it works here. I shop (and i cook) for a few reasons.

  1. DH can't follow a list at all - he would miss every second thing out (same reason he can't follow a recipe).
  2. It would need to be extremely detailed as there is far too much choice for DH to know which ones i want.
  3. DH would buy the finest of everything whereas i buy the basics and our budget would be out of the window (he went to the shop to buy a bottle of wine the other day and bought a bottle that was £27 Shock which was foul).
  4. DH doesn't actually know what most things are, if i ask for pasta he will often buy rice, or asked for an aubergine he would come back with a courgette, because he doesn't know which is which and can't learn (this is also why he asks for help to order food in restaurants 'what's y again MrsK?' ).
  5. Never ever say to DH 'whatever you do DON'T get x' as all he will hear is 'X' and you will have that. (we had friends over once and he asked them what they drank, they said 'anything but x' and he came back with a crate of 'x' - i'm sure they thought he must have done it to be funny with them.
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/07/2014 17:14

I do the meal planning and the shopping (online) and most of the cooking during the week, DH cooks at the weekends.