AIBU to wear black to a wedding?

[Silvercatowner]

I have absolutely no idea about these things….

[cashmiriana]

I have worn a black and cream floral 40s style dress to a wedding with matching black and cream t-bar louis heeled shoes, and cream accessories. The bride and groom (BIL and SIL) are still talking to me, 5 years later. It didn't look funereal or depressing.

Mind you I also wore green to my own wedding, so what do I know? Am now waiting for this mythical bad luck to strike. It's been 17 years coming so far...

[Chocolateisa7adayfood]

Yes, black is totall fine! Only colour you shouldn't wear is white. Dress it up with bright colours/sparkly things though so as not to look funereal.

[commsgirl]

Weddings are the only time I don't wear black, I wear navy.

[GlaikitFizzog]

Clearly I'm abnormal then

Where do I get this rule book everyone is banging on about then?

[Silvercatowner]

Yeah I need one too.

[specialsubject]

it's fine - I did it for an evening do and have seen others do it too. Couldn't find a half-decent frock at a price I was prepared to pay in any other colour at the time.

the only no-no is a big white frilly dress.. :-)

[LisaMed]

I think it depends on the bride. Some are superstitious (green is supposed to make fairies angry). Some don't care. I think it's most important to respect the wishes of the bride (within reason). My mother preferred to wear green and black. I gritted my superstitious teeth and asked her to please either wear black or green and not both. I even bought her a nice green and white dress - much against my better judgement. She wore black and green. I was actually unsurprised but didn't forgive. It was calculated.

White was only really traditional from the 20th century if I understand it right. Before then people just wore a nice dress. For the superstitious:

Married in white, you'll do all right
Married in green, ashamed to be seen
Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow
Married in red, you'll wish you were dead
Married in blue, your love will be true.

btw - superstitions aren't real. It doesn't really matter but it helps with piling on the marriage stress.

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

In summer, all black with black tights would look very drab and odd. I once did debate this over a wedding in the autumn though, decided black was a no-no, got to the wedding (in a trendy London club) and everyone was in black. It was very annoying!

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Why would you wear black tights in summer anyway? Bare legged and bright heels!

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

I don't know, ask the women I've seen continuing to wear black tights recently (although it is so humid, perhaps they'll give them up now it's July).

[Jackie0]

The rule book
I imagine where you live has some bearing on it. My age group where I live would wear something we consider appropriate and respectful to the happy couple. No cream/white or black. If you're invited to just the evening do it would be fine though.
Even if you don't enjoy dressing up , would it not be as easy to wear something in any other colour than black?
It doesn't need to be complicated or expensive.
In my experience a black wedding outfit won't make you blend in (assuming that's your comfort zone) as much as making you a talking point and memorable for all the wrong reasons.
Bottom line, it's not about you, it about celebrating the couple's special day.

[IckleBird]

I wore a black maxi dress that had a sparkly collar and sparkly jewellery. My sil the bride commented that I looked great, it never occurred to me that it was against wedding etiquette.

[PasswordProtected]

OMGoodness. Reading this has just reminded me that our mother wore a stunning black and white silk dress with black hat, bag & shoes to my sister's first wedding in 1987. Her corsage was a white camelia. She looked stunning & not at all as if at a funeral.

[cluecu]

Some of my guests wore black to my wedding and they looked fab Short of wearing an actual wedding dress I don't think any of my guests' outfits could have figured on my stress-radar, as long as they enjoyed themselves.

[TweeAintMee]

SteelyEye - genuinely I have never heard of the rules mentioned here and I'm actually quite a stickler for social etiquette. e.g. Thank you letters every time in this house (pref 1.5 sides), as soon as a child can write. To me, black is an entirely neutral colour. Also, I've cast my mind back to my own wedding and cannot recall a single outfit other than my own...I was too busy to notice and far too happy just to see my friends and family sharing the occasion than to check whether protocol was observed. I might add that convention dictates that men wear a black morning suit and that women wear a hat (which I adhere to, though not in a conventional hat of course)....so I can't see why women should be colourful and men pretty much wear a uniform. It is only in the last 25 years that men have personalised outfits with a special waistcoat. As for funerals.... well, I won't be there for my own, so people can wear whatever is comfortable for them.

[PaintedLady2014]

I got married in black!

I also wore bright red to my mum's funeral. She always said she didn't want people wearing black and red was her fave colour.

[Jelliebabe2]

It's supposed to be bad as you would wear all black to a funeral. So I wouldn't wear just black but team it with a colour. In America it's quite popular as a colour for a bridesmaid dress but they also tend to have a more black tie event. I wouldn't do it. White would be very rude too!

[mathanxiety]

It would be completely acceptable for every occasion I might find myself at (US) including weddings. Very few funerals or wakes I have been to feature people dressed in black -- I would be much more likely to find women in black at weddings actually.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

I would be more likely to wear black to a wedding than to a funeral. But I am in the US and most of the weddings I have attended are in the evening and many are black tie so women are in cocktail attire. There is a lot of black.

My daughter's bridesmaids dresses were black.

[RuddyDuck]

Quite amazing that sone peoole have so little confidence in their partner that they think the success or otherwise of their marriage might be determined by the fact that a guest wore green.....

My wedding dress was green. We've been married more than 20 years. Cant remember if sny guests wore black at our wedding but it wouldn't have bothered me if they had,

[MrsKoala]

Personally i think all black is rude to wear to a wedding. If it's black and another colour then fine. I wouldn't wear all black to anything but a funeral and a very dressy cocktail party and I doubt i'd wear it with any 'colour' other than white (not that either is actually a colour really). (i'm not a fan of black really and i think it looks crap on most people tbh - i just don't understand why it's so popular).

I wore red to my last wedding. I fancy blue for the next one

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I can't remember what guests wore to my wedding. If anyone did wear black I certainly didn't notice. I think some people over think things.

[SteeleyeSpanx]

Fair enough twee apologies if I offended

I am currently smarting from a particularly epic etiquette fail on the part of a 'friend' so perhaps a bit oversensitive on this subject at the moment.

[awsomer]

OP you need to think more about how the bride/groom will feel about it. It doesn't matter how people on MN respond if the bride is going to take it badly! They're your friends/family, do you think they'll mind or not?

[TweeAintMee]

Steeleye - no offence taken but very nice of you. :)
awsomer has probably got it right really.