To let DP do all the hard work in the evenings

[DoYouThinkSheSawUs]

... Because I feel guilty, even though he says he doesn't mind.

I'm an older mum of 2 and I'm not going back to work after this maternity leave. Dd1 who is 3, is bloody hard work - didn't start sleeping through until a few months ago - used to wake every 2 hours every rucking night.

Dd2 is 8 months and such a happy little thing, but starting to walk so wants me to be bent double walking her everywhere at the moment. She also doesn't sleep much, but I tend to get a 4 hour stretch in there.

Currently one will wake early and one will stay up late and they swap it. Around. Tonight was dd2s turn to stay up late and has only just gone to sleep now. Dunno why and she wasn't overtired -perfectly happy until one minute she starts rubbing her eyes, straight to bed, asleep in seconds. Earlier attempt at usual bedtime was met with an angry baby who did NOT want to sleep.

Anyway, so I do all night wake ups and always have done, DP sleeps in a different room and I have both girls in with me. I look after them both all day, with a couple of hours of cbeebies in there (another guilt point) so I can do a few jobs or sit down, so I'm no means a brilliant mum. I try to do most of the cleaning, all laundry, and cook.

DP when he gets home eats, then baths dd1 while I tidy up, then I collapse while he chases around after whichever daughter is not going to bed, does the washing up from dinner, then does whatever job he wants yo do.

So am IBU to let him do the chasing around in the evening while I gave a sit down and a cuppa?

My son suddenly knew shapes after watching Mr Maker - I try and sit with him and talk about what's on as a compromise between having a break and actively parenting, and that does for me!

But I suppose he gets a lunch break and is sat at a desk job all day, while I have been on my feet

I'm laughing at the idea of getting a lunch break-you mean 10 minutes at his desk with a sandwich. That comment makes me think, yes you are being unreasonable. You at least are your own master during the day and can take advantage of breaks if they present themselves. He, even if he's the employer rather than an employee, is very unlikely to be able to slack off .

It's a bit rich complaining about doing night feeds if you're breastfeeding-what do you expect him to do?

while he chases around after whichever daughter is not going to bed,

this is the bit which stood out for me. If your children are only young, wouldn't it help a great deal if they were tucked up in bed by 7pm ish? You are knackered. But I also feel you need some help in dealing with who's boss when your children go to bed. Surely what you say goes. Chasing a child, even if you are exagerating, would drive me insane. Bed is bed in our house and there has never been an argument about it.

Early mornings when they were young now that a different matter but do take control over what you can take control over for your own sake. That could help enormously.

He does actually get a full hour lunch break, goes for a walk or to the gym.

I'm not complaining About the night wakings either.

As for getting them both in bed at 7. Well I try but unscheduled naps or overstimulation often scupper it. I'm working on it though :)

Bollocks to someone in an office job being 'very unlikely to be able to slack off'. I have been at home doing childcare and I've been in various office jobs, and I know which gave me more chance of' slacking off on an average day-to-day basis. I would have agreed about the lunch break, but since the OP has said husband actually takes a full hour, I think he's got it pretty good tbh.

Everything in your opinion. I've done both too and my office job is harder by miles than looking after small children.

OK, so we each have an opinion that differs. That should put your first post, where you stated as fact what the OP's husband's work life was like, into context.