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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To fly home early?

27 replies

OrangPutih · 11/07/2014 18:11

I am on a placement at a hospital in SE Asia. The placement itself is very relaxed and the local staff seem suprised and even irritated when we turn up. Many of my peers have gone travelling already but I spent the past 3 weeks at a different placement so have only just arrived here. I am travelling alone, very short of cash and am very lonely.
This is supposed to be the trip of a lifetime but I am hating it and counting down the days until I see my friend for celebrations at the end of ramadhan. Even then we are distant friends, more polite to each other than emotionally close.
My mother has decided to get married at very short notice and has offered to pay my flight back to the uk ao I can attend. Am I throwing away the chance of a lifetime if I accept? Or cutting my losses? I have 4 more weeks here, then 2 more where I had hoped to go travelling. Im just so very lonely.

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 11/07/2014 18:13

YANBU, go home!

maras2 · 11/07/2014 18:16

Just go home love.Your mum knows best.

whattodoforthebest2 · 11/07/2014 18:16

Go home, enjoy the wedding, take some time out to think about the good and bad aspects of the trip and put it down to experience. If there is a next time, it'll stand you in good stead.

FunkyBoldRibena · 11/07/2014 18:22

Yeah go home. No point in forcing yourself to have the [bad] experience of a lifetime.

CuntWagon · 11/07/2014 18:25

What do you mean by placement? Are you qualified and volunteering or a student on an elective?

Pico2 · 11/07/2014 18:30

Go home - it is really liberating to realise that you can make decisions like this and you are in control.

OrangPutih · 11/07/2014 18:31

Cuntwagon, student on an elective. The hospital gets lots of students (I think the fees we pay are quite a side earner) and from what I can tell most go in three or four times. Not what I was expecting and nothing like my first placement.

OP posts:
Flipflops7 · 11/07/2014 18:53

One of the great joys of being an adult is being free to bail.

Iflyaway · 11/07/2014 18:59

There, s a reason you have been handed a "get out clause".

Grab it with both hands. Why stay miserable any longer?

"Life is what happens while making other plans" - John Lennon.

You will also make lovely memories of your mum, s wedding...

CuntWagon · 11/07/2014 19:36

In that case surely going home early will affect your ability to meet your course requirements for practice hours?

Sister77 · 11/07/2014 20:05

Go home!
I read in a book (can't remember which) that if you want something enough the universe gets it for you (simplistic(.
You can go home and not "lose" face and you've experienced something! You got there! You tried it! More than most people do!

OrangPutih · 11/07/2014 20:05

There is no minimum set for contact hours. Its marked by an essay. I have already passed the first placement and am unusual in doing two.

OP posts:
OrangPutih · 11/07/2014 20:07

Thanks Sister, that is a lovely idea

OP posts:
CuntWagon · 11/07/2014 20:09

Fair enough. I am a nurse (I know you haven't said that you are) and our elective hours were part of our overall practice hours requirement in order to qualify. I didn't go abroad for mine but remember it being drummed in to those that were that it was not a jolly but a part of our training. If you're sure it won't cause you problems later then go home.

Sister77 · 11/07/2014 20:13

Sorry when Iean you can go home without losing face I mean you can say I came home because of mums wedding. Good luck whatever you decide but life is too short to be miserable.
I came home from my 2 week Maldives holiday in my 20s because I was bored and homesick and hated it!

Sister77 · 11/07/2014 20:14

DP and I both came home early!

TheCuriousOwl · 11/07/2014 20:15

I came back from elective early because I'd achieved all I 'needed' to like you have with your essays etc, and I was also lonely and homesick. I like the idea from Sister77!

andadietcoke · 11/07/2014 20:24

I work for a company that are investigating offering a medical elective prize so I've spoken to lots of medical students recently about their electives. It seems really unusual for anyone to spend more than 2-3 weeks on actual placements; they seem to place more emphasis on travelling!

BikeRunSki · 11/07/2014 22:08

Go home. Whatever the other circumstances, why miss your mum's wedding when you needn't?

MrsWinnibago · 11/07/2014 22:12

If you were my daughter I'd want you out of there and home with me. Start packing!x

OrangPutih · 12/07/2014 02:08

Thanks guys, these responses have made me cry with relief. Flying home 9am tomorrow :)

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 12/07/2014 02:18

Aww, nice one that you don't have to wait long to get off home Smile

It's terrible feeling trapped, especially when it's something you (and possibly everyone else you know) think you should enjoy.

Try and shrug it off when you get back, you tried something and it didn't work out, don't let it put you off trying other things.

What was it you were looking for when you decided to take the placement?

BlameItOnTheBogey · 12/07/2014 02:22

Orang - I went on the trip of a lifetime as a student. Very similar thing. I had such high hopes and was an experienced traveller. It was awful and miserable. I admitted defeat 3 months into a one year placement and came home. I thought I would feel like I had failed. But I didn't. I knew I had given it my best shot and that I wasn't happy. As someone else said, one of the benefits of being an adult is having a say on this kind of thing.

For me, it was 20 years ago that I took that decision. And not once in the intervening years have I regretted it. I know today, as I did then, that it was the right decision.

Good luck to you.

loaderloader · 12/07/2014 02:57

Im sure it feels good to have made that decision. Homesick and lonely is miserable.

Don't go home feeling like a failure. Despite it not being the trip you hoped it would be I bet when you reflect you will have had some very interesting experiences that people will enjoy hearing about.

Enjoy your Mums wedding.

bragmatic · 12/07/2014 03:05

Stay, go, whatever. But why would your mum anyone arrange a wedding knowing you'd have to break a placement to attend?

I'd stay but I'm stubborn like that.