To feel let down.

[Celestria]

Probably am due to the circumstances but anyways

My dps uncle died last week. It was sudden and unexpected. My DP wasn't massively close to his uncle but his mum and his gran are understandably distraught.

The funeral was yesterday. I spoke to him late afternoon and he said he would like some dinner then never turned up. I still haven't heard from him today. I wouldn't normally mind but he had promised my older two dc he would take them swimming and they were harassing me all day about it.

I don't mind whatever the reason is that he wasn't able to do it. I just feel a bit let down that he couldn't send a quick text to say he couldn't make it. I know he is at home and didn't go into work today so is probably unwell.

Am I being a bit precious in light of the situation.

Yes I think you are being a bit insensitive I'm afraid.
Even if he wasn't close to his uncle, seeing is sd and dm "distraught" must be awful.
Death reminds me of my own mortality and for that reason I would not feel like going swimming and pretending to be enjoying myself.
He could have sent a text, but he didn't, you knew why he didn't take them, it was your responsibly to explain to your dc that there are more important things than swimming sometimes and be there to support him.
Hope that helps.

YANBU. No need to let children down without at least letting them know. Rude and uncaring.

I thought I probably was. He promised my daughter on Monday and I said to him then that he shouldn't as it would be the day after the funeral and he might not feel up to it. He insisted he would. I wish I could take them on my own but I have the four children and so not enough adults.

I have been very supportive of him though. I offered to cook meals for him and his mum to take up with him and to walk over and be with her if she needed me or to take the dog out for a walk for her as she has sciatica at the moment too. I'm not heartless I promise

YANBU. He needs to get a grip.

Yes was probably best to cancel the swimming trip on his behalf. I guess he is with his family. The swimming and dinner aren't really important at the moment I suppose.

Celestria. I had not intended to sound harsh.
It's thoughtful of you to offer to cook for his family.

Please remove this thread.