To have expected a phonecall?

[Whenwillwe3meetagain]

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and after going for my 20 week scan a week ago a left club foot was suspected and it was confirmed yesterday by a consultant. My parents are divorced and I told them both about the club foot after the first scan. They both know the second scan would have been yesterday but neither have been in contact.

I know I could have called both but I just thought that the fact that their first grandchild may have a slight birth defect might have meant they might have wished us luck or maybe been in touch on the day. I'm probably being pathetic but neither have shown much interest in the pregnancy and I'm feeling sad about it. I just want a bit of concern or hand holding during a bit of a tricky time.

My dh and his family really do care but I'm hurt that I get nothing from my own parents.

I'm in tears writing this and it's the first time since the diagnosis. I'm not upset about the baby as I'm in really good hands and it's very treatable but I just feel so let down by my family.

Has been good for me to write this down

Hmmm maybe I'm just being hormonal!

Are they generally distant? Perhaps they have both thought you need time to come to terms with any news and are waiting for you to call?

For you

Yanbu.

But I sometimes find my own parents like this too. I don't know what happens when they get older.

But instead of brooding just call. You'll feel better when you've spoken to your own parents

I generally speak to them once a week each so not exactly very close. Yes maybe they are giving me time but my mil didn't and it was so nice to know she was thinking about us when at hospital.

I think sometimes people forget how worrying/ anxious/ exciting/ nerve wracking/ hormonal basically what a mess you are.. when your pregnant and just don't think.

Maybe they were trying to give you space to come to terms with what's happened/ potentially could etc before getting in your face?

No idea what your parents are like, but just phone them.. They will be relieved to hear from you, and you can eat some chocolate and feel better too

Little one is thriving thanks just has a bit of a wonky foot which I'm confident will be sorted out. At least this means I'll get to see bub a couple more times via scans.

I will feel better once we have spoken but I think I just feel really disappointed.

Hi Whenwillwe3meetagain - my 3rd baby was born with an undetected talipes (much prefer that to the term club foot LOL), it wasn't picked up in the scans, we only discovered it when he was born. We had treatment using the Ponseti method and now at age 7 other than a tiny scar at the back of the heel you would not ever have known anything was wrong with his foot. Just wanted to reassure you that it is treatable, but I am sorry you didn't get the reaction you needed from your parents. (Feel free to pm if you want any more info re the talipes) xx

This may or may not help. I've just googled club foot and I had one when I was born. From what my parents have said, it was caused by position in the womb, my mum did exercises and as long as I remember I've had two wonderful, normalish looking and perfectly functional feet.

You have my sympathy. I know what it must feel like.

I was having weekly viability scans to see if my DD1 was still alive. We knew she was likely to die before term and we had declined termination. My parents barely phoned to ask how things were and when I did call my mother to say that DD1 was dead, her response was breezily, "Sorry, can't really chat at the moment. I'm in Costa having a coffee."

It really hurts.

Exercises on my feet after I was born. Not her while I was in utero... Obviously.

Omfg Dino. Do you still have a relationship with her after that???

Oh Dino so sorry to hear about your loss. My issue is so trivial compared to yours but thanks for your understanding.
Do you have much contact with your mum now?

4boys yes I prefer talipes too but it's a new word for me so getting used to using it! Thanks for your positive post.

I've Pmd you OP.x