To ask 'do you think you drink too much, and what is 'too' much?'

[DillyDallyDee]

We've been through a really stressful period of time with extended family stuff, family deaths, disputes and financial worries, and I have just realised that I don't remember the last time I didn't have one or two glasses of wine in the evening. We only ever used to drink one or two nights a week. Worse part is I feel like I need a glass of wine in the evening. I'm drinking too much aren't I? Does anyone else drink too much - should I just go cold turkey!?

Likewise. Though the very fact that you are asking yourself means that fingers crossed you will sort it - the problem, according to my acupuncturist anyway (been trying as PP have said to find other ways of handling it, also do yoga) is when you won't admit to it.

Very good friend of mibe's sister went to stay with her recently and was thinking it perfectly normal/ok to start drinking at 4pm, drank three bottles (mainly on her own) and then complained to my friend that she was being stingy and had not got any alcohol in...

Nope NC failed. Oh well feck it! Need to face it sometime I guess!

I don't know many people who drink like I do, and would be interested to hear if any of you are similar to me.

I'm a binge drinker too. I rarely drink during the week, and often won't have more than a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of spirit/mixers (or a large baileys!) on a Friday or Saturday at home with DH. I often go for days, sometimes weeks, without having a drink at all.

But then I'll have a night out and I can easily get through at least 10-12 bacardis.

I do have an "off" button though (although it doesn't sound like it there ) and although it's not uncommon for me to drink that much I will often reach a stage where I either go onto pop/water for a bit then start again, or go onto soft drinks for the rest of the evening just cos I feel like I've had "enough".

Even on nights out and drinking that much I don't get staggeringly slurring drunk though. When I stop depends how I feel on that particular evening and can be affected by where I am, who I'm with, what I'm drinking, what I've eaten, even what the weather is like.

I do try not to mix my drinks (eg if I'm having wine I will stick to wine and not go onto spirits, and vice versa, I don't drink beer or cider) and my hangovers seem to be random too, I can sometimes get a headache from one glass of wine but sometimes be fine the next day after drinking enough to floor some of my friends.

I don't really worry about my alcohol intake as I know I could never drink again if I wanted and it wouldn't faze me but I do sometimes wonder if my seemingly high tolerance when I do drink means I could be doing internal damage

On average no, but some nights I think I've drunk too. Much, and some weeks I def feel like I've drank way too much eg nearly every night.

This week is one of the weeks when I think it's not a good about to be drinking.ast Friday out with a friend - half a bottle of wine plus another glass. Way too much for one night. Saturday one bottle of cider. Sunday one cider and one glass of wine with family. Monday nothing. Tuesday nothing. Wednesday 4 cocktails 1 small bottle of bear and one small glass of cava (client drinks then friends). Again, too much in one night and loads ontop of the rest of the week. Nothing last night. Am out with friends for dinner and drinks tonight so that will probably be another half bottle of wine...

me and DP go out once a month together as we can't afford anymore. But I drink till I get drunk then stop as I know my limit, but thats classed as binging and can harm me more than drinking every week. DP will drink with his mates every two weeks. I don't think I drink a lot but according to "elf and safety brigade of daily fail" I binge.

Used to drink too much - no point in moderation - I drank for the effect

abstinence is the only way.

3 years dry.

I would recommend it to anyone

That doesn't sound a lot to me OP (in fact it's nowhere near enough for me). But only you can decide if you aren't happy with it.

I think if you know why you drink addressing the cause is better than changing tipple tbh. I drank like a fish in my very unhappy 20's. 7 or eight a night, every night. As soon as i got a handle on the stress points in my life and developed coping skills - ie. support network, counselling, writing down what bothered me and then saying to myself what a supportive friend would say or challenging my catastrophising, i stopped drinking. Now my response to stress is a cup of tea, write it down - then its out, not escalating to point where i want oblivion of passing out or the 'hit' of wine. Personally writing it down works better as no-one to say get a grip or i have it worse! I dont even miss it now, grown up time is a cup of tea & quiet time & my fave programme. My skin is better now and i have way more energy too.

Glasgow, well done on 3 years dry. Can you tell us about all the positive effects it's had please?

Me and DH drink too much. Him - 3 bottles of ale a night, me - up to one bottle of wine a night. I hate it and want to stop. Me and DH are happily married but this morning I woke up (feeling like crap after yet another wine night) and said to him 'why aren't we happy together and why aren't we happy with what we've got in life?' He was shocked and asked what I meant - I explained that what I mean is why isn't just spending an evening together, lunch out with DCs, a special meal at home etc etc enough, why do we have to ALWAYS have to add alcohol into the mix? He got what I meant and agreed that we should stop, he'll said we'll have a proper chat tonight. I was particularly upset thus morn as at about 3am my gorgeous 9 week old boy woke up and struggled to settle. If I hadn't been drinking before going to bed I would have taken him into bed with me (which he - and I - adores and sents him straight to sleep) but because I'd drunk a bottle of wine I obviously couldn't take him into bed with me. So I'd missed out on the most amazing feeling of closeness with my little boy all because of some shitty wine that I keep pouring down my neck.

I also said that this weekend I'm not going to touch a drop and I'm going to pay special attention to the good things that will undoubtedly bring - waking up without a hangover, not feeling lethargic all day, not hanging around waiting for train when we go out for lunch tmrw as I'll just drive.

So yes I do think I drink to much but it's going to stop!

Dilly, like you I've had a stressful time and got into the habit of self-medicating with alcohol. The truth is, if you feel there is an issue then they're probably is. I've had five bereavements in two years and it left me with anxiety attacks. I decided not long ago to quit completely and I'm not regretting it at all. I feel totally in control now and my anxiety lessens every day. I will go back to an occasional glass when out eventually but in the meantime I need to deal with things in a positive way.

Things that have distracted me, in case you want suggestions.
Movie nights, either at home or the cinema with popcorn and coke. (Try as I may, I can't associate booze with the cinema so I put the lights out if at home )
A late evening swim on a fri or sat, the pool is empty, bliss.
Late night drive to a local beauty spot. I live on the seafront so particularly nice to watch the waves. Puts it all in perspective that there are much bigger things out there than my issues.
Going for a bath with a hot chocolate and a glossy mag.
Evening walks by the sea/river/countryside with essential Ice cream stop off.

You can do it! The only thing worse about feeling bad from all that has happened is feeling even more awful because you're masking and numbing it with booze. It always hits harder when the booze wears off and 'the horrors' hit.

Positive effects.

Weight loss.

Complexion.

No more waking up with a slow realisation of what I had done the night before.....

No more feeling pressured to just have a drink - No thanks I dont drink (rather than am cutting down etc).

Money - lots more disposable now.

no more losing phone or cash card when drunk.

so much more free time when the idea of sitting in a pub really hold no interests - also easy to get up at 8 am on a weekend when not had a drink.

Negatives - moved to a new city for work - how do you actually meet new people.....

But thats it

fatty

just read your full post.

Just stop drinking - you clearly want to, just make that decision. cutting down never worked for me, so abstain, not special occasions, not birthdays nothing.

I had did not drink at my own wedding this year!

I drink too much, yes.

DH and I share a bottle of wine probably 4 -5 nights a week, sometimes two bottles on a Friday or Saturday. Sometimes have a G&T first.

Its definitely become a habit - needing a drink to unwind - and I would like to start cutting down, as would DH.

Sounds bloody great Glasgow, I'm seriously thinking about leaving the booze behind. Cutting down won't work for me, I'm an all or nothing person (what's the point of one glass of wine?!).

I'm feeling really positive, thanks!

It was bloody great!

I am glad my evangelising is working.

:)

personally I would ban alcohol, though without it I would not have met my wife!

I never have a thumping headache ( a hangover with a toddler does not work).

Work out how much you guys spend on drink in the house (or how much extra you spend with a meal when you drink)

Over a year thats a nice sum to spend on you as a family.

Its a depressant and full of poisons and sugars and chemicals......

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-27371546

the health benefits are overhyped also :)

I have been dry nearly 4 years now, I used to drink most nights and i was a terrible drinker...felt (and looked) like crap most mornings, was skint all the time and behaved badly on more than one occasion.

It was the best thing I ever did, all the positives Glasgow mentioned, as well as a better relationship with my family and friends.

I do find people don't get it though and I get some peer pressure but it's a small price to pay.

Good luck OP :)

Thank you ll, for the advice and people sharing their stories. fackinell I suffer from anxiety attacks as well.
I do want to get on top of this as I'm uncomfortable with how much I and DH drink. We've both been under a lot of stress, but thankfully our marriage is fantastically good, we need to spend more time indulging in hat, rather than wine!

OP, when you say you drink one or two glasses of wine a night, how big are the glasses and how strong is the wine? You could be drinking anything between 1 and 6 units a night. One unit is quite OK but 6 units in one sitting is considered to be "binge drinking". Use the Drinkaware info provided by another poster to find out how much you're likely to be drinking per week.
I did this and was alarmed to find I was drinking more than 20 units a week . I now know I shouldn't have more than a bottle and a half(ish) of wine per week. don't always stick to it though
I agree with other posters who say daily drinking is a bad habit to get into. And I've been there. Try & have a few alcohol-free nights a week. Find another way of relaxing. It's hard, I know. But you need to find out your actual alcohol consumption.

Sorry to hear you get anxiety attacks too, Dilly. Mine lie dormant for years and resurface in times of stress.

That's great that you both want to commit to it, it really is half the battle. It gets so much easier after a few days and your willpower will spur you on. You don't have to quit completely but it sounds as though (like me) that its a crutch rather than a dependency. It actually doesn't calm you down, it numbs you only to hit you twice as hard later on. I'm lucky my DP rarely drinks, that makes things easier on me.

Good luck to you both and feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.

The problem with wine is it's a perfectly socially acceptable drug.

Most mothers I know feel they 'need' and 'deserve' a glass of wine, and it's all dressed up with nice glasses and posh crisps and complementing the food and all the other excuses we make.

Truth is, nobody needs a glass of wine, not to cope or celebrate or unwind.

I can count on one hand the number of wine connoisseurs I actually know. The rest just want the day to recede.

The hardest thing, in my experience, of giving up booze, is dealing with the reaction of those who feel threatened by your choice because it forces them to examine their own consumption.

I drink too much again now that my kids consistently sleep through the night. Probably about 1/3 to half a bottle a night with at the most 2 nights a week that I don't drink. Not dramatic maybe but it's enough to make me feel a bit crap in the mornings and I'm always resolving not to drink that night and wake up feeling wonderful. Guess what I am drinking right now...

I have been struggling with this for a while. I'm on the cusp of the weekly limit most weeks, so while not a dreadful situation yet, I know I'm not in a great place because a) I struggle to cut down, and b) when I'm stressed I want a drink.
Can anyone recommend a lower alcohol dry white?

Wine, Toomuch?

Cat, I've never seen a low alcohol dry one they all seem to be sweet. The non alcohol ones are shite. Avoid them like the plaque. Becks Blue is nice if you like beer. I meant to pick up some Schloer (sp) when I went to supermarket to get DSD some ciders but I forgot. Can't be arsed now but may have a Becks Blue.

Dilly I've always found the anxiety much worse when drinking a lot too.