To be pissed off at DP?

[Mardybums]

DP and I are getting married next year and I have been trying to get the guest list organised as it is going to be an intimate wedding on a shoestring budget. In an attempt to get organised I have created a wedding spreadsheet, my side of the family and shared friends are sorted but I have been asking DP to look over his side, he glanced over it yesterday and said fine but he may want to invite a couple of work mates and I told him that he only has one space left so with a couple he will have to think about which guests he is going to take off the list.

I have today received a text from DP asking me to add another 10 people to the guest list, he has only gone and asked 3 work mates along and told them to bring their partners and kids. I am so cross that he has done this on a whim without thinking properly about the numbers and where he is going to cut the other people from. We only have 60 guests in total! He has suggested paying for extra guests but that is going to prove very expensive and we may not even have the room at the venue to add that many people on. Also I don't really fancy having a bunch of people there that we don't know that well in place of family/friends we do know. AIBU to be fuming!!

Bit it's his wedding too!! He should have discussed it first but he is entitled to ask people he knows too

Not unreasonable at all.

It's all very well him saying he'll pay, but it's not that simple. Plus, presumably, since you're going to be married its all shared funds anyway, so you will have to forgo something you want in order to facilitate him inviting his work friends.

Very inconsiderate and selfish of him to go against what you had both originally agreed.

I'd suggest he tells his work mates the venue can't take them.

Wheresthelight I know it is his wedding two, that is why we have split the remaining guests after mutual friends equally between us. He has been putting off sorting out the guest list which we need to do soon because most people are travelling so I filled it in for him with his close family and friends and asked him to look over it. Now loads of those people will either have to be cut or we will have to budget for more guests, which is something we should have discussed before he went and invited people.

Our wedding is really on a budget so we will have to make sacrifices elsewhere if he wants to invite both as Hotdog says

Are you saying that after mutual family and friends he can only invite one person?

Sit him down, work on it together and don't let him fob you off. If he wants more people get him to call the venue then and there.

give him the list of his guests and tell him to choose who to uninvite.

I'd respond 'I'm not going to add anyone on, you need to decide who you are bringing with your X spaces and let me know. I'm not your mommy'.

That should make him th

could they come to the evening reception instead?

ARRGGHHHH!!!!!

That should make him think about it before inviting any more.

(obviously you can't actually uninvite anyone, that would be too rude!)

You have filled in his family guests?? Very odd...does he want to get married??

Has he invited these people to the whole day or just evening do?

I think splitting the remaining guests equally is an odd way to do it.

We got married equally and both had input into the guest list but didn't count each side so it was even.

Dh works in a small company so is close to almost everyone there, so a lot of his friends were invited to the day/meal.

Whereas I work in a huge company with 200 people in my department. So a few close friends got day invites but then I had a lot, lot more of my work there in the night only.

We got married recently I mean.

No Zen, after mutual friends we split the rest of the guests equally. Because he was putting it off I filled out his side with the people I know he likes most of his family and friends and asked him to look over it, there was one guest space left on his portion. Sorry if I wasn't very clear, typing when angry isn't the best!

Thanks for the suggestion Hecate, I think I will leave him to sort out his side, it's now a bit of a mess!

Sorry, posted before I received the other replies! He has invited them all day and has told them this. The problem is we live away from most of our family/old friends so they would have to travel, so it would be a bit crappy to only invite them to the evening

Oh, I see. That makes sense. I agree, just let him get on with his side by himself.