Posting to get perspective, I think I am too close to this to be rational
DD was playing with a friend at school yesterday when another girl X came past. They asked X if she wanted to play and X said she didn't. X then stood and watched the other 2 girls playing making comments about what they were doing. DD said she found the comments annoying (though couldn't really tell me what was said). They asked X nicely to stop making the comments and suggested again that she might like to join in. X again said she didn't want to. Another couple of girls came and joined in the game. X kept making odd remarks about what they were doing and started shouting out to various of the girls. DD asked X to go away as she was being annoying. X said she wasnt being annoying. At this point DD said that X was being annoying and attempted to demonstrate this by mocking the way she was talking and shouting. The other girls thought this was funny and agreed with DD that X was being annoying and they would like her just to join in normally or go away. X told DD she was being mean and she was going to tell her mum. DD retorted that X was the one being mean and she was going to tell her mum. After a couple of minutes of this argy bargy between them X stomped off.
This is where I need perspective.
That evening I had an angry text from X's mum saying that X was in tears because DD had called her annoying and got the other girls to tease her. She said that if it were her daughter reducing another child to tears she would be doing something about it and she considered it to be one step away from bullying.
I asked DD (without telling her about the text) about how school was and who had she played with at lunchtime. DD recounted a story of the game without mentioning X. I asked if X were there and DD said that she was, but she didn't want to join in the game and was just being annoying so they mostly ignored her. I then told her about the text and the story above came out.
To be clear, I don't think DD making fun of the other girl is on. We have talked about better ways that she could have made her point and how X must have felt. But equally I really don't think DD meant to upset her (she was genuinely distraught to hear that she had X is actually usually a close friend). But the majority of their argument sounds like a 100 arguments she has had with her brother and other friends and that her brother has had with his friends that are forgotten 10 minutes later, and I do think children this age (they are Year 3) won't always be as tactful in what they say as an older child/adult might be!
Whilst accepting that I may have had an edited version of the story (though as I say, it sounds so similar to a 100 other arguments I've witnessed, so I don't think I have and DD has been quite open about what she said/did) I do feel that other mum is overreacting. I know it's horrible to see your child upset, but I wouldn't consider the above anything other than fairly everyday playground stuff and tbh I think X perhaps needs to toughen up a bit, or if it is genuinely upsetting her over and above normal fallings out she needs to speak to an adult at school rather than running to her mum. I do think this is something that would have been better sorted out at the time.
Should mention mum has texted me before about fallings out between the 2 girls (made up and forgotten the next day) and I really don't want this to continue every time they have an argument.
AIBU not to do anything beyond what I've already done (talk to DD about better ways for resolving disagreements)? Or should I be taking this more seriously? (and what on earth do I text back to the other mum?)