to ask if this is an offensive thank you present for teacher?

[powersquawker]

DD has suggested that we make a 'girly box' for her thank you present to her teacher. Her teacher has a DD who is a little younger than DD and because of her commute she doesn't get to see her at all during the week so DD thought she could make a box of things for teacher to do with her DD in the holidays - like nail varnish, a cheap DVD, cake kit, board game, craft kit etc.

I thought this was a sweet idea but DP said it's offensive and that I'm basically saying 'i know you're crap and don't see your child all week, so make sure you make an effort in the holidays!'

Do you think it's a bad idea?

[LinesThatICouldntChange]

I think it's an ok present and sweet that your daughter has thought of it but with the following provisos:
If you're buying lots of small gifts, the price can stack up and you don't want to embarrass the teacher by spending too much. Conversely, it's pointless to buy really cheap tat .

Also a number of people have suggested getting your daughter to write her own explanatory note which is lovely, but please don't let her write anything ap

[LinesThatICouldntChange]

Posted too soon

Don't let her mention 'because you don't see your daughter very much' because that would be offensive. Something like 'I thought you would enjoy doing these with your daughter on your break' is fine

As a bit of an aside, would you buy this present if her teacher was a man who happened to have a young child? If so, then fine. If there is an element of it being because she's a working mum, then perhaps your husband has a point

[drivingmisslazy]

I would much prefer your gift over a bottle of wine and chocolates that I receive lots of and give away as I don't drink wine, and not the biggest chocoholic. I would be pleased to get something nice like that.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Difficult, because your daughter has clearly thought about her teacher, but so has your husband. Perhaps one of the gifts for the child, plus a bunch of flowers?
I had no idea end of term presents caused so much agonising, although I was fazed by buying the first present for a male teacher; (a calendar, very original).

[Beepbeepnow]

I'm a teacher and that sounds like a lovely gift esp with a little note written by your daughter explaining it :)

[ThrowAChickenInTheAir]

Bit too personal as in its to do more with the teacher's family outside school rather than acknowledging and appreciating her as a teacher. I'd stick to a gift for her really.

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

I think it's lovely and more importantly it's your dds idea. She is being thoughtful. Include a note dictated by your dd explaining it is entirely her idea. Nobody would take offence at a child giving them a gift and the teacher will get loads of wine and chocolates and not everyone likes wine and chocolates

[avocadogreen]

I think it's a nice idea especially if your DD writes the card and explains why. I am a TA and am always grateful for any gift, but especially the ones chosen by the children.

[cosikitty]

I don't like it.

The teacher probably feels bad enough already that she is unable to spend time with her dd due to work, without you reminding her.

[JohnnyBarthes]

Mentioning that she doesn't see her little girl during the week would be horribly head-tilty. 'Because I know you and Florence like fairies' would be more than enough.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

a little too personal and too much. No real need for a present at all IMO a card from kids is enough but if you really feel you need to buy something then a token gift like a plant or book token would be best.

[sashh]

I would do part of it it, maybe just one, like the cake making kit, but enclose a note saying that this is dds idea for hr to do something with her dd in the holiday and sorry if it is too personal but dd really wanted to make it and loves making cake with mum.

[littlewhitebag]

Not chocolate. My friend works in a nursery. She gets hundreds if boxes of chocolate. She doesn't eat chocolate. Ever. Wine is good if you know she drinks. Plants, candles, hand cream etc seem to go down well.

[FFSFFS]

I think a 'box' of goodies would be way to much (and expensive) and agree that you could just do ine element. Plus a cute card.

[Losgehts]

It's a lovely idea and I'm always delighted when parents have tried to make a present personal.

[Dubjackeen]

I think it's a lovely idea, just one thing would be enough, and your daughter could write something about hoping she enjoys whatever it is, with her little girl.
It's very thoughtful, and if threads here are anything to go by, the teacher will get loads of other stuff that is just for herself.

[13loki]

I teach. This gift would make me cry, in a good way. I don’t really like wine (except dessert wines) and usually spend summer on a diet because I ate crap while trying to mark everything at the end of the year

[greeneggsandjam]

It would appear that most of the people who think the gift is a good idea are people who are actually working with and teaching children so there you go!

[greeneggsandjam]

By the way, one of my children once gave the teacher bottles of nice shampoo and conditioner. I was a little hesitant but he insisted that it was because she had such nice long hair and she could use it for her holidays. I went along with it and explained it to her and she said she absolutely loved it! I also would rather get something like that than a box of Dairy Milk or Celebrations.

[JohnnyBarthes]

Yes, but do they not see their children during the week?

That's more pertinent here in a way than the job itself.

[walde]

I think it sounds a lovely gift. I'm not a teacher but my mum is and gifts like that would definitely be appreciated as some thought has gone into it.

[Hollycopter]

cosikitty ffs, maybe she loves her job is is proud of the good example she's setting for her daughter. Not all working mums are suffering martyrs believe it or not.

[queenofthemountain]

No don't do it, I think it could possibly be seen as offensive.why take that chance?

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

It's sweet of your dd to come up with the idea, but I think it's a pretty bad present tbh. Presumptuous and patronising if you explain it, but an odd selection of stuff if you don't.

Maybe a bottle of wine and a board game with note explaining dd thought she might enjoy playing it with her dd?

[trevortrevorslattery]

It sounds lovely.. and at least it won't end up on the "shelf of shame" in the staffroom as it will be stuff she can use!

I'm not a teacher but one of my good friends is.. and I can confirm that there is no limit to the amount of wine that teachers can make use of .