to ask if this is an offensive thank you present for teacher?

[powersquawker]

DD has suggested that we make a 'girly box' for her thank you present to her teacher. Her teacher has a DD who is a little younger than DD and because of her commute she doesn't get to see her at all during the week so DD thought she could make a box of things for teacher to do with her DD in the holidays - like nail varnish, a cheap DVD, cake kit, board game, craft kit etc.

I thought this was a sweet idea but DP said it's offensive and that I'm basically saying 'i know you're crap and don't see your child all week, so make sure you make an effort in the holidays!'

Do you think it's a bad idea?

[JustDontWantToSay]

I honestly think it's lovely and my DD broke up last week, I said to her form teacher that I hoped he liked the unusual gift (travel diary as he's going travelling over the summer) and he was v grateful and said "I've got enough wine, chocolates, aftershave, etc. to last me a lifetime!"

[JustDontWantToSay]

Seriously Monster? It's hardly obligating the woman to 'do craft stuff' with her DD all summer, it's just there if they would like to. As for DVDs, anyone with children can take a pretty good guess at what would be appreciated.

[Jinsei]

I'm not a teacher, but I think it's a nice, thoughtful gift and it's sweet that your dd has thought about what her teacher might like. A box of chocolates is such a tick-box type of present, no thought goes into that at all!

[Wetthemogwai]

I'd have said it was a lovely gift.... Your dd sounds very thoughtful :)

[Meow75]

I think the way to get around the possibility of misinterpretation is to get a lovely Flower Fairy card and for your DD to write in it, or you write for her (it definitely needs to be written in her voice, her words even if your handwriting), exactly what your DD was thinking.

Problem solved. Go for it OP and DD.

FWIW I am a former teacher, and would have thought this a great idea. Always nice to know that pupils realise teachers have a life outside of school

[BackforGood]

I think it's weird.
Obviously if a pupil gave it me, I'd pretend it was nice, but, presumably you are posting to anon. strangers on the internet, it's because you want honest opinions.

Just a card is fine, but if you really want to get something
pen
notebook
handcream
voucher for something
wine
chocs
I was given a small mirror for handbag once and I still think of that lad whenever I see it in the bottom of my bag he's probably about 27 now
plant

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

I think it's sweet because it shows she knows her teacher is a real person with her own family life outside school. Go for it - don't discourage your daughter, kind heartedness is too good to spoil.

[DennyDifferent]

I must be weird then because u think it sounds lovely.

[DennyDifferent]

*I

[SquigglySquid]

Depends on a couple of things. Do you and teacher get along really well? Or has there been some disputes with her this year?

If you get along and there haven't been problems, I think if you have DD write a note explaining the gift it should be fine.

Let her do her gift idea. The teacher will love it if she knows it's from her.

Case in point, my dad hated those treasure troll dolls growing up. But my uncle thought it would be a funny joke to convince me he actually loved them. So I kept getting them for him, and he loved them and proudly displayed them on his desk (until years later when I was old enough to get the joke... Actually, I think he still has one on the shelf...)

Let it be from her, the teacher will appreciate the sweet gesture from your daughter.

[Greenkit]

I think we should stop with the presents....

[greeneggsandjam]

I think its a lovely gift that shows your daughter has put thought into it and not just picked up the first box of chocolates she saw. If she puts a little note in to explain her gift I think it would be even nicer!

[CheerfulYank]

Not everybody drinks or eats chocolate and hand cream is hard because it's hard to judge what smell someone likes.

I think it's nice :)

[MackerelOfFact]

I think as long as there's a little note explaining (as otherwise it's a really odd selection of things!), it's really sweet.

I had a teacher when I was at school who was forever moaning that she didn't have any paper clips. My gift when I left her class? A box of 1000 paper clips and some chocolate. Guess which one of those made her laugh and touched her the most, to the point she mentioned it every time I saw her for the next 10 years or so? Clue: it wasn't the chocolate!

My mum is a teacher and most of the toiletries and chocolates get reappropriated to family members anyway as nobody can use that many supermarket travel toiletry sets in a year!

[Brabra]

Only so much wine? Ha! There is never too much wine.
Your gift idea is weird and creepy and a little bit stalky.
Teachers like, and deserve,wine. Don't fuck about.

[MrsMook]

I think it's very sweet that your DD has come up with something different.

I teach the wrong age groups to get presents, but I'm still working my way through Christmas toiletries, and DH would get most of the benefit from chocolate and wine.

[jaynebxl]

I'm a teacher and I would love it just because of the thought gone into it. Actually I would also love it because it sounds like a fun gift. I don't class teach any more so I don't get presents but when I did I often did as someone above said and reassigned lots of the gifts. I did end up getting lots of toiletries that weren't my thing (alongside the wine and chocs that were!). At the end of the day it is absolutely the thought that counts and I took every gift as a sign of thanks and something to be grateful for. Oh yes, even the massive transparent plastic biscuit barrel shaped like a greek urn filled with broken biscuits after a term doing a topic on the Greeks!

[MrsGeorgeMichael]

What age is your DD - could she write a note explaining why she choose this gift (or could you)

i had to do something similar a few years ago as eldest DC was very insistent on a present for a teacher that i thought was inappropriate. but because he was so insistent i wrote a note on his behalf (that he dictated) to include with the present that had me sobbing and still brings a tear to the recipient (it gets mentioned all the time!!)

[Phoenix2014]

For goodness sake don't get her yet another box of chocs.
Having been a class teacher and head, I've had car loads. Whilst every gift is appreciated, I have had years when I couldn't possibly get through what I've been given. My mum has had many toiletry sets over the years.
My favourite gifts have always been the ones that have stand out as being the child chosen them. Just don't go overboard and spent too much.

[Icimoi]

I think the teacher would take this entirely in the spirit in which it is given and would appreciate the thought your dd has put into it.

[Fairyfellowsmasterstroke]

I think your DD has come up with a lovely idea.

The teacher will have 6 weeks to use the kit - I'm sure that she will be very grateful for it.

Don't squash your DD's idea - its her teacher, let her do it.

[pasbeaucoupdegendarme]

I am a primary teacher and my dd is 2 tomorrow. I would really appreciate this gift, especially if it came with an explanatory note.

FWIW, I have teacher friends who are teetotal, so they don't massively appreciate wine, another member of staff is diabetic so feels the same way about chocolates, and another has very sensitive skin so doesn't want scented toiletries! It's always lovely to receive a gift, but I don't think it's right just to say, "Oh give them a bottle" and so on...

[Topaz25]

Since the teacher has specifically told your DD that her DD loves fairies too, I think it would be sweet to get the teacher and her DD something fairy related to do together. She's the one who mentioned it, she might think it was sweet your DD remembered and thought of her DD, it's more personal than a generic gift. I don't see why it would be seen as a comment on their situation, parents who see their children during the week like doing activities with them on the holidays too!

[WhereTheWildlingsAre]

I am also a teacher and agree with the previous post saying I would love it because of the special thought that has gone into it and that it was what the child chose.

Every gift is lovely to get but the ones that have taken a bit of effort are the most lovely.

A year 11 student gave me a cup cake when leaving after the exams. On the last day she went round each of her teachers and gave the cakes out that she had made herself. That's just a lovely thing to do.

[millionsofpeaches]

I think it's a lovely idea too. I'm a teacher of secondary age boys so not overly inundated with gifts. I would love something like that that thought has actually gone into and your dd sounds like a very sweet thoughtful child. Get her to do a card to explain it and go for it.