to think that when you offer to cook dinner

[ParadoxicalCat]

..a ham sandwich does not cut the mustard?

Note the house tradition of hot meals once a day. Preferably with green components. I was more than willing to cook, but you insisted. GAAH!

Sorry, end of rant

That sounds like an unusual but acceptable first course, what is he/she making for the main?

Blimey. It would need to be slow-cooked Nigella ham and handmade bread with interesting peppery lettuce and grain mustard...

That does sound a bit crap, unless the cook was under 9 years old.

Otherwise, was it a fancy ham sandwich? Funky bread, exotic leaves, artisan mustard?

Did it come with chunky chips, and a decent bottle of wine?

If not - order yourself a takeaway

DP did add greenery by popping a sprig of grapes on my plate afterwards, which I have expanded on by having a glass of wine

The grapes... is DP under the impression that they'd constitute pudding?

Poor devil, I'd have committed murder

The glass of wine sounds best. Just have another.

It was indeed dessert. I have very patiently and lovingly eaten everything but will refuse to let him "cook" tomorrow. Also considering chucking out the crumb bread maker.

Is this a ploy though?

"Of course I'd cook but as you know I can only make a ham sandwich".

To be fair to him, he can cook and does so about twice a week. He just really fancied a ham sandwich, apparently :)

I don't blame him - there are many evenings when I just feel like having a ham sandwich and some fruit and feel 'obliged' to cook a 'traditional meal'. I do think a lot of people are obsessed about having 'proper hot meals' rather than just eating what they fancy .

When I was at university, a bloke I was casually seeing offered to cook me dinner. It was oven chips and baked beans, only. Just that.
Followed by tinned pears for dessert.

Caroline oh, at University, I think that's quite cute!

But we can't possibly answer until we know whether there was mustard to be cut on the ham sandwich.

A hamwich, don't you mean? :)

A hamwich, don't you mean?

Point of order, I believe it is spelt Hamwidge :o

Was it naice ham.

I hope it was naice. Naice bread and crap ham is far worse than crap bread and naice ham!

So the dog ate, when do you?

Oh dear, no naice ham! Anyway, no mustard to cut as DP does not like such things.

sorry bogeyface, I really should have known that.

Cook him just exactly what YOU fancy for dinner tomorrow. Have a nice big lunch so that by tea time you only really fancy beer and some peanuts.