To be unsure if counselling can help me?

[woodlandfairypool]

I have name changed for this post, because I'm a bit embarrassed but I do want to think carefully about this.

I'm having a hard time of things but I'm already in a much better place then I was even a few months ago and am feeling better every day. I have been dealing with a bereavement amongst other things.

I've been dithering with the idea of counselling but am unsure if it would be any use (don't have a gp so would have to go private) and don't really want to spend a lot of money on something I'm not sure will help? So I suppose i am wondering if anybody has ever had counselling and concluded it isn't for them, or if it is helpful pretty much all the time?

Sorry OP that things haven't been great for you.
Can you not ring CRUISE (I do apologise but I think its cruise that offer free if not very cheap counselling for bereavement over the telephone)?
This way you can see if talking to someone will help. (Which personally I think will IMHO).

Thanks :) I'm not sure about cruse - I rang samaritans a couple of times when I was very low and they were lovely but obviously it wasn't 'counselling', just 'talking'.

Do it!

I've been dithering for years, should've had birth trauma counselling 13 years ago and kept putting it off and kidding myself I was ok.

I was in a pretty good place when I started my 6 sessions,I spent the first session bawling my eyes out,I had no idea I'd been holding it all in. I can't tell you how many things I've managed to lay to rest just through talking and a bit of cbt.

Go once, if you don't like it don't go again.

I think I've already laid a lot to rest, is the thing - don't really want to delve it all up again.

I think I'll leave it :)

I'm in counselling now and wondered the same when I started - now it's brilliant, you get whatever you want off your chest and it's your personal space! Be up front with them, they'll have heard the resistance before and if it's not for you, then tell them and stop the sessions but do give them a fair chance first.

(I'm private paying and go through a foundation charity which is less expensive than a normal private session)

You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to,I pretty much dictated what I wanted out of my sessions.

I don't know anyone who has had it and bit found it incredibly helpful.

I've had two courses of person-centred counselling (about two years in all) and found it more helpful than I can say. With each counsellor we pursued certain 'themes' (that I had identified as wanting to work on), but you can talk about whatever you want in each session. It's great when you have something pressing on your mind.

They were both good, but the last one was really exceptional and helped me to identify things (in myself and others) that were causing me a great deal of stress and unhappiness. Each was via a local charity. The first was entirely free and the second at a much reduced rate. It's definitely worth googling to see what is available local to yourself. In my case both places (and counsellors) were registered with BACP.

Gosh that's really good, my sessions are 45 per 50 mins and no way could I afford them if we didn't have private health care. I get 6 sessions a year. I basically said 'these are my problems, get them sorted in 6 sessions'

oberon, what would you google? I'm very interested in this,but dont have health care and earn minimum wage so cant afford anything really.

If you have a gp then ask them to refer you. Here you have to wait about 4-6 months so worth getting your name down asap.

Round our way there are a couple places that offer free counselling depending on reason and need. My DM had bereavement counselling with a local charity and she says it was great. I am currently seeing someone from a cancer support group to help deal with my dm's terminal cancer diagnosis and get me through the coming months. It has really helped to have a safe space to say the things you can't in public.

I would recommend looking around and giving it a go.

I just googled 'counselling' and the name of my city. I just tried it again and the last place I went to is the first hit. Some health trusts are better than others. I know the one where I live (East Midlands) has a talking therapy service that people can self-refer to, and the waiting time is usually only a couple of weeks or so.

I also had (free) telephone counselling, but I was referred to that by a support worker and it was specialised rather than general (in terms of what the counselling was for). It was also from a charity, and is county wide. At the time progressing to face-to-face would have a meant a lot of travel because of where they were based, and I didn't want the outreach service (didn't want to have counselling sessions in my home), which is partly why I switched. (They have since started a service based in my city.)

Check out If MIND provide counselling in your area, or if there is a community based counselling service that you can refer yourself to. The waiting list may be long, so you can always decide not to go if it's not the right time for you. Also you can go, see how you like it and decide if you want to continue.

Something to bear in mind is that counselling is a personal thing. If, for any reason at all, you don't feel you can get on with your counsellor enough to talk to them properly then you should speak up, as this is essential. Any decent counsellor, and counselling service, will understand this and be more than happy (and professional enough) for you to switch to another counsellor. Some services even offer a choice of male or female counsellors (the telephone service I mentioned in my previous post did).

^^ what Oberon said. Not all counsellors are equal, and the first one may not have the right approach for you. I've experienced good and not-so-good (not 'bad', just not 'right' for me).