I've always been close to my parents and it was always my plan to come back home and set up family near to them. DM always talked longingly about how much she wanted grandkids and would be all supportive because her parents didn't help her, etc.
I moved 5 minutes down the road from them and when DC1 was born she quit a day of work and spent some time with him. When I went back to work full time I paid her wage to drop a second day of work and she minded DC1 two days a week. It was fab at first, but more and more she started to spend their time together on the ipad or phone. I didn't day anything to that as it's generally a favour to me.
When DC2 came 18 months later I guess I assumed she would keep helping out with DC1 on her days off but she insisted I stop her payment and basically makes any excuse not to see us. Or a more often she will come over on her way back from shopping 'can't stay long my frozens are in the car'. Having 2 under 2 is hard work and people say to use any possible support, but if I ask DM she makes me feel really guilty. I know she's not obliged to visit but I feel very rejected. Eventually she told me that I shouldn't expect her help and made me feel as if I'm some needy person who asks too much -yet I really don't ask that often.
Of course if she does decide to visit she expects me to keep them awake to entertain her and she always say we are welcome at her place, but DC2 is only 16 weeks and is very sensitive, so it's really not that simple. I feel like she doesn't like us anymore - especially given how much she initially wanted to help. She's quite cold with me too.
AIBU to think she should want to come and see them once a week on one of the days off that she chose to have in order to spend time with them?