To contact the school or this girls mum to find out if she really does have cancer?

[HalloweenDuck]

VERY LONG BACKSTORY I AM AFRAID!
My dd1 is in year 4 at junior school. She has a group of close friends whom she has been friendly with for 2-3 years.
In this school year another girl has started being included in the group.

Now as they are in junior school we do not see mums etc outside school gate. ( roundabout drop off system and children make their own way out to road at end)
So I know the parent to nod to but not much else. dd1 and her group got invited to girls party in November and she invited girl to hers, but we have never had play dates as such. ( due to the fact I work after school and my children attend with me)

So this girl's mum got diagnosed with breast cancer before xmas, We sent a card saying we are happy to have girl to play etc if needed to help and wishing her the best of luck etc. Received a text saying thank you but nothing else. dd1 has kept me informed and it was hard for girl at start but recently mum has been much better, and they have got a dog and seems well. dd1 only knows that she is still going to docs and hospital but getting better.

Another girl in the group announced last month that her mum has skin cancer. ( I know this mum better, she has had it in past and been treated 5 years ago, she has had mole removed and seeking treatment but prognosis looks good, she is still working etc etc)

On Friday was the 3 year anniversary of my father in laws death from cancer, dd1 was very tearful over the weekend and we put it down to this. Last night she had a full on melt down and said that this girl had told them last week she had cancer in her foot!

Now I questioned what she said and apparently she had cancer in her foot, wasn't sure what they were going to do. if she would keep her foot, lose her hair etc but she wasn't allowed to tell anyone including the school!

My first reaction was to calm dd1 down by saying I didn't believe she had cancer! ( not sure if this was a good thing to say or not)
dd1 said that girl has not been off school, not mentioned going to docs hospital etc and it came randomly out of the blue at lunch.
I explained I thought girl was maybe doing it as a cry for help/ attention as she has been through a tough time etc and dd1was to take it with a bit of salt. Not tell the girl she doesn't believe her, and just let her talk about it when she wants. But if she did have it, the school would have to be told and she would maybe miss time off school and may get sick etc. So dd1 and I have come up with plan to just basically be the best sort of friend possible to girl and see what happens in the future.

Now AIBU to contact the school/ her mum/ or another friends mum to see if they know anything, ask if true etc.
If this child is making this up ( she is a lovely girl not a trouble maker) then I think she may need to have an adult talk to her, needs some attention/ support etc. (Not implying from me as I barely know the girl, I mean school or parent establish it)

I do not know what to do for the best.
Advice please.

Oh tricky one. I think I would probably have a quiet word with the form teacher.

Yes I'd have a word. Very tricky. You sound very kind and thoughtful.

I wouldn't raise it with the school. If I saw the girl's mum in passing though, I would say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry to hear that X is poorly. Do let us know if we can do anything to help." It is polite & friendly and will either get a "thank you" or a "pardon?". In which case, you will know the truth.

If you do get the "pardon?" then explain to mum, gently, what her DD has told your DD. I would try to be kind though, as I can imagine I'd be pretty upset if one of my DCs had been making something like that up (we have cancer in the family too, so they all know how serious it is).

I would speak to her Mum, it could get bigger than it needs to, if done via the school.

I've had three teen DD's, they have had lots of friends and this isn't uncommon.

Teen girls do go through these phases.

I'm not of course assuming she is lying, but nearly all teen DD's have their moments, of fantasy.

See I never see the mum, maybe once since xmas. I was worried about making it big with the school etc. Ahhhh what to do!

I think I would do what Santaslittlemonkeybutler has suggested. If this is a cry for help or attention then it needs to be nipped in the bud quickly. If this gets out at school that she has lied about something like this it could make her life a misery (we had a girl who told us she had cancer, kept the lie going for ages and when found out was shunned and humiliated). You could potentially save her from a lot of heartache.
unfortunately children dont understand the consequences of their actions.

Year 4... so this girl is 8 or 9? Could she have a lump (veruca) in her foot which she has been told might need cutting out or some other treatment?

Yes, talk to the school, but only in relation to your own child's distress, let them sort out the rest as they shouldn't be sharing mwdical information about one child with another's parent.