AIBU to be upset about renting?

[desperatehousehunter]

I've always rented. It's not that I don't love my house (and the previous places I've rented), and there are lots of positives to renting that I really appreciate, it's just that I'm getting bummed out about the fact it's not mine.

If we want to decorate we have to seek permission or change it back before we leave. If we want a pet it's up to the landlord. The standard tenancy seems to be 6months-1year so we constantly feel like there's a chance we'd have to leave our home (not to mention each time the tenancy is renewed we have to pay a £60 admin fee and the rent usually goes up).

I know that the solution to this problem is to buy a place - but that's easier said than done! I've got a good job and it's not that I couldn't afford a mortgage (in fact after meeting with the bank I've discovered that my mortgage repayments would be about 2/3 the amount I'm spending on rent, so I'd be better off to buy somewhere) it's the deposit that's the problem. I've been saving for 4 years and so far I don't have enough for a deposit and fees. The bank suggested I borrow money from my family, but it's just me and my siblings and they're saving for a house of their own too.

Should I just suck it up and accept that renting is the new normal? Or do I have a right to be feeling down about how difficult it is to buy a house?

Any advice? WWYD?

That's it isn't it. Even with nice landlords there's always that feeling of fear.
Our landlord, who has always seemed perfectly pleasant is visiting tomorrow and though I know we haven't trashed the house and that when we leave we'll call in cleaners and get the carpets cleaned etc (we have a dog) I'm shitting myself. It's a feeling of powerlessness.

Woman I remember that feeling and we had very decent landlords actually. We rented from them for 7 years but every time they came over, I HATED it. It was demeaning somehow to tidy up your "home" and have this cap-doffing feeling like you're a bloody peasant or something and they could say "2 months and you;re out!" if they wanted to.

Desperate have you considered absolutely all the areas around you that are commutable to work?

It's a feeling of powerlessness.

Exactly.

And I know the argument about having a mortgage is that 'you don't own your house, the bank does', but at least as long as the payments are made, you answer to no one. The bank manager can't just give you a call and say, sorry but you need to start packing, you've got a month to find somewhere else to live. And once it's paid off...bingo. Fuck knows what I'm going to do when I reach my dotage and can no longer work to pay my rent.

The problem is not landlords themselves but that renters are second-class in this country. No protection, no security, no acknowledgment.

OP - are you on your own? do you have DCs? If not, why not move into a studio flat for a year to save?

I think the idea that it should be easy to buy a house and require no sacrifice is something that has only been for the last 15-20 years, people who bought before that did struggle to save, did have huge mortgages, had to jump through a lot of hoops to get their first property.

Mary the OP said earlier on in the thread she doesn't want to do that. I think it's a good idea though. There's nearly always massive sacrifices needed to save to be save to buy your first property. I didn't even like my first place or where it was but new it was a start.

Yes, but she didn't explain why not, if she's got dcs then it would make sense to not lower their standard if living very far now, but if on her own, why not go for short term discomfort for long term security?

When we were saving to buy our house, DH and I could have rented a bigger, posher property in a nicer area, but we wanted to save as much as possible, it was pre-dcs so not that big a deal.

I understand not wanting to move out if a town you love, but rent the cheapest, smallest place you can for a year and save every penny.

Yes that's what we did, me, DP, DS1 in a 1 bedroom place with a sink and cooker in the living room!

We are renters. Have never bought.

Been in same place for nearly 7 years.

We were in a position to start saving 2 years ago and have £8000 now.

Need a lot more but I am 41 now and it will take a few more years to save what we need.

Renting has advantages for sure but for us, with children, living in a house that needs so much work doing to it is getting depressing.

The only way we can save is because we live in a house that is relatively cheap in this area.

It is not uncommon now for people like me - a teacher - to be unable to buy a house here in the UK. There are a few of us where I work.

I am not looking for a big family home, just a small 2 bed flat or house that we can grow old in.

It is annoying in that we have no debt and could easily afford a mortgage if only we could get one.

Wow I can't get over how expensive rents are in England! I rent a detached three bedroom house in NI in the countryside, beside a lake and mountains and forests, with four acres of land, for £400 a month!!! I looked at buying a property here but the cheapest mortgage was £900 which I could never ever afford in a month of Sundays.

My uncle is leaving me his house so I don't mind that I rent, as it is more important my children have a beautiful place to live. My landlord lives in the Philippines so I know I can stay here indefinitely.

My last landlord however chucked me out with four weeks notice after she decided she wanted her house back...that was so scary and I was a day away from being homeless with my children.

Split oddly enough here in Cheshire you can rent somewhere more rural for less than anything near civilization...but it's still horrendously expensive. Ordinary, bog standard 3 bed semi can go for 800 per month in some areas and they're not even very "special" or anything.

How can a family on minimum wage afford that?.

Is it wasted money?? I rent and I see it as paying for a roof over our heads...nothing more important than that. I like renting, it is easy and having been a home owner in the past...I am happy to live without that stress.

Reck I know what you mean....but aren't you ever afraid of getting notice? When people say it's wasted money, they mean that a mortgage is sometimes cheaper than rent and you get the property at the end of it all! Rent goes to nothing apart from someone else's bank account...and they can ask you to go at a short notice.

MrsW I rent from my cousin and he lives in the States so I suppose I am complacent that way. He will never give me notice, of that I am sure. He also lets me decorate and keep pets....before I had a house with my ex husband, who gambled away our money and we had bailiffs at the door. I lived in fear of the washing machine breaking or the boiler packing in....now I have wonderful peace of mind. And bit by bit I am stowing away a little bit of money to afford a tiny house in the future.

YANBU. I am in exactly the same boat as you. I could just about afford to buy, but with lots of talk of a house price bubble about to burst I'm putting it off.

I look at it this way...I have the rest of my life to own a house. There are a million benefits of renting, and really, the amount that you would pay in interest on your mortgage is also 'money down the drain'. You'll get there, eventually. And in the meantime, enjoy the flexibility!

Reck I think you're right....renting from a relative when you know you're safe..well it's all good isn't it? We rented from my inlaws for a while and it was great...I knew we were ok.

I just wish there was some way to make tenants safer....and to make it more beneficial for landlords to offer really long tenancies...so we could all be happy!

We own a property that we have rented out in the past (no mortgage on it) and used a letting agent to manage it - the letting agents have been asked by HMRC to provide details of all landlords and rent received. It is something they (HMRC) are looking at more closely.

You can only get one residential mortgage - for the house you live in - so even though the first house was mortgage-free, it was something we had to prove when we bought a second house. We actually bought a house that we were renting (relocated for work).

MrsW you are so right. I rented some years ago before I got married and lived very happily with my housemate....until one day we got served a NTQ. Our landlord decided to keep our entire deposit for made up reasons...this was before the schemes to protect tenants' money. I was absolutely disgusted! So not only were we booted out on our ear...we also lost £500 into the bargain! RECOCKULOUS! My husband made that word up and I think it is funny!

oh yes that happened to me too! I lost all my deposit because "The wardrobe is ruined"

It was a wreck of a thing...when we moved in! We were students though and naive.

Oh yes...apparently the wallpaper was torn, paint messed up, carpet dirty....I responded and said I had independent testimony stating the house was spotless when I left and also my friend saw DECORATORS inside the house within ONE hour of my leaving. She wanted to use MY money to decorate her house!!! Yep....so many landlords are cruel, money grabbing parasites, unfortunately.

I hope everything worked out for you, MrsW!

The only way we were able to save up a deposit was by renting really horrid places that few others would touch and a few big work bonuses. We didn't have financial help from family either. Our unit is paid off now but if we'd stayed in the rental market our rent would be now three times what it was but income is actually exactly the same (to be fair, it was boom time back then).

I'm dreading deposit money going when we start renting properly (technically in a houseshare now, the granny flat of somebody's home!).

DP lived with a mate for 2 years, both were in their early 20's, living in a flat, good heads on their shoulders and good, mostly quiet tenants (a few parties in the space of two years).

When they left the LL tried to take the full deposit and charge them, the total amount came to over £2000 The list was full of ludicrous bullshit like "dirty shower" and "cracked tiles in kitchen" (that were cracked when they moved in). LL obviously thought that as they were young and it was their first rental they'd give in and pay up, but they fought it. One of the things on the list was their fault and they were happy to pay for that (a crack on the outside of the bath or something), but because the impartial middle man type person (can't remember what they are called?) who checked the flat over disagreed with everything the LL had said was chargeable, he waived that too and they only had to pay a couple of hundred for the floor to be cleaned professionally, which they were fine with.

Pixie just to reassure you...my last landlord (landlady?) was BRILLIANT...she was so nice and gave me back my deposit after six months (we had signed for nine) with no problems. So there ARE lovely LLs out there.

This Oh I know, but I still get worried about it IYSWIM. I can't help it, this LL of DPs said nothing, was perfectly fine and reasonable as a LL until they left, then hit them with this letter telling them that they had to pay XYZ for things that were either general wear and tear/old age (and to be expected, like scuff marks on the lower parts of the walls and the grouting not being perfectly white any more) or things that were absolute bullshit.

I posted not long ago about having pets as we planned to move in January and a lot of LLs on here said that they'd be fine with us bringing our rats along to their 'no pets' flats as long as we asked, but that's a worry as well. Especially as they're rats, people have preconceived ideas about rats so unless I lied and told them they were hamsters or something, or just said "caged animals" then that's an additional worry about even finding a flat.

We cleared getting pets with our current LL first, she agreed to us getting a cat, then changed her mind when we got around to starting to organise it, so I wouldn't want to be put into a situation of somebody saying yes, we pay all fees and then they change their mind and decide that they actually don't want caged animals at all.

It's a feeling of powerlessness.

This!

We have long given up on owning in the UK, & will be moving to Australia in the next 3-4 years (yes I know house prices are insane there too, but my parents have a cottage on their farm we can stay in for as long as we need to); hopefully we'll be in a position to build in 5 years or so (something we could never do here with the planning laws...)