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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go to the school and take my DD out now!!!!!!

52 replies

pingufan · 08/07/2014 10:47

Bit of background to the story...

Daughter is in year 6 of local primary. This primary has 2 main feeder schools and over the years all the kids went to School 1. Hardly anyone went to School 2 as it was geographically further away. 2 was always a higher performing school than 1 but that never seemed to affect the parents choice until last year when it became apparent that the head of the primary was influencing parents and children to go to school 2. That year almost all the kids went to school 2. Through the grapevine we heard that the head had fallen out with the head of school 1 and that was why she was influencing the kids to go to school 2.

My son went to school 1 two years ago as the school was 'on the up' moving up from band 5 to band 2 - my son has thrived there without problems at all so we had decided to send our daughter to the same school. About half the class is going too but this is where the problems have surfaced.

There have been numerous examples of favouritism to the children going to school 2. Lots of little things - events held at school 2, teachers coming down from school 2 to teach but whenever school 1 has offered workshops and events the head declines or makes it difficult for our kids to attend. Before christmas there was a transition event held at school 2 so myself and the other parents whose kids were going to school 1 stopped our children going. This resulted in our children being shouted at by the class teacher and belittled in front of the other children. I went into school and complained and was assured that no favouritism is taking place but it is just so obvious to see!

There has been numerous incidents - our kids have been given tranisition letter at the last minute, no transport provided etc - basically the head is making it as difficult as possible for our kids to attend events.

Today has been the last straw. There is a show on at the school my daughter is going to and all of the year 5 & 6 from the primary have been invited. Head has declined as they will be missing too much school due to the strike on Thursday! The other school had a 2 day residential trip last week!!! It was ok for them to go to that!

My blood is boiling - I'm tempted to go to the school and get my daughter and take her to the comp to watch the show myself!

WWYD?

OP posts:
TheHoneyBadger · 09/07/2014 10:08

parent's voice section on ofsted?

you've contacted the head already so next step is write to the governors and cc to the head and date when you already complained about it to her. i would cc the LA as well.

beachyhead · 09/07/2014 10:13

Are there other parents who are going to your senior school who feel as passionately? It would be good if all of them turned up at the comp tomorrow.

querolos · 09/07/2014 10:21

Do you really need to cause all this fuss for a show? Don't think very fair of the secondary schools to organise loads of events for year6s to go to. Surely an induction day is all you need??

mumeeee · 09/07/2014 10:31

querolos The op isn't just making a fuss about the show. The head has been very difficult about a lot of things to do with this school while encouraging and allowing children who are going up to the other school to attend all events there,

marfisa · 09/07/2014 10:31

What Almostfifty said. Someone needs to call out the head and the governors on this issue. A formal complaint is the way to do it. It will take awhile for the complaint to go through all the school channels and reach the LEA, but it's worth it for the sake of pupils in the future.

Good for you for standing up to the head!

VSeth · 09/07/2014 10:38

Can you get together an email list of the parents of the children going to the same school as your DD and make sure that nothing gets missed again? Maybe even organise a play day in the holidays in a local park?

Very unprofessional behaviour from the Head, I am glad that you took DD to the event.

littledrummergirl · 09/07/2014 10:45

Email the head with your complaint and cc the chair of govenors giving a timescale for an official response. If they dont reply satisfactorily or at all then email the chair and cc the lea. Then they are aware you are following the proper channels.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 09/07/2014 10:46

So petty that she favours school 2 because she fell out with the head of school 1. Please tell her to grow up!

Original poster
pingufan · 09/07/2014 11:02

I am in two minds whether to take this further and possibly upset DD's last week or two in school - she was quite worried this morning that she was going to get into trouble for me taking her out yesterday morning - I have assured her she won't.

Selfishly, its not going to affect me after next week but I do feel for the people in yr 5 who are going to have to deal with similar next year.

Trouble is this is such a small village gossip is rife and already us that have kicked up a stink about pervious happenings are seen as 'trouble makers' and head is happy to let everyone think that too.

I have looked for the LEA and chair of governors email but neither are available - the LEA website just gives phone numbers and postal address and the chair of the governors is an old man who probably woudnt know email if it bit him on the ass...

OP posts:
Original poster
pingufan · 09/07/2014 11:05

When I went to the comp yesterday I spoke to the transition coordinator who is aware that there are 'issues'. Yesterday was the last of the planned events at the school and DD just can't wait to get in there.

I now have to go and face this witch at the leavers assembly tell all us parents how much she loves the kids and is going to miss them and how they come first every time etc, all rubbish....vomit...

OP posts:
Original poster
pingufan · 09/07/2014 11:18

Another thing I'm a little wary of - I need to take DD out of school the very last day as we are going on holiday. If I kick up a stink can the head refuse the day / fine me if they want to get funny?

(I wasn't actually going to fill a form in - just not send her in thinking along the lines of what can they do? she won't be in the school at all after that day)

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/07/2014 11:23

Don't make too much of a fuss as it might cause problems for your DD. You can always raise the issue after she has left.

I am very sorry to hear that your DD will be mysteriously and suddenly unwell on the last day of term Wink.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 09/07/2014 11:23

Tell them she's ill.

Original poster
pingufan · 09/07/2014 11:30

Ha thanks - great idea. Trouble is open & trusting DD has told teacher she will be away that day as she goes on holiday....

Anyone know if you can be fined for 1 day or is it 5?

Head has definitely got us on her radar - the last time DD was ill we got a knock on the door from the EWO that morning (10am) to find out where DD was. I had rung the school to tell them and left a message with the receptionist but it wasn't passed on. I found that very strange and the fact that the EWO was at our home only and hour after school started....

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/07/2014 11:34

As far as I know it isn't the HT who decides on fines its the LEA. I wonder if they would bother for the last day of primary school.

You could check with the experts on the Education board.

HouseofEliot · 09/07/2014 11:36

Definitely needs reporting or it will continue. My Dd is year 6 and their school is split with children going to 8 schools. Hers is the one her school feeds into but others have been on days out with the heads blessing.

Regards transport to transition do they not make their own way there? Ours have to it is not provided for them.

CrapBag · 09/07/2014 11:42

I don't think 2 missed sessions (morning and afternoon) will trigger a fine. Generally its 5 days/10 sessions.

If you phone in sick though, then its not unauthorised anyway. Wink Sickness will be an authorised absence which will not trigger a fine.

Original poster
pingufan · 14/07/2014 16:47

The secondary school usually provide transport down to them.

As an update to this, I attended the sports day today. I haven't seen DD's teacher since I collected her for the show.

Another mum came over and asked me if she could borrow DD's costume for their leavers show for her child as she had heard the DD had been given another part. As I happens DD needs both outfits so I couldn't lend it out but though I'd check with teacher first so I called her over.

'Mrs XX' i said, does DD still need her xxx outfit for Wednesday?

'Yes' she said, 'are you stirring again?'

'What?' I replied, totally on the back foot

'Are you stirring again?' She said. I was completely gobsmacked and started to explain that another mum wanted to borrow the outfit.

'Im only joking' she said and walked off!!

WTF? If she thought she was being funny, I didn't see the funny side!

Now I do know that other parents have complained about their kids not going to show so I'm assuming because I went over and took DD down directly I'm the 'trouble maker'

If this is how teachers behave then I'm shocked and disgusted.

OP posts:
teacher54321 · 14/07/2014 17:19

Have just read this absolutely gobsmacked! Especially at the rudeness of her teacher today-I work in a prep school and we spent the last two weeks with kids missing all sorts of things for various transition events and we didn't even blink. It's what happens. Appalling behaviour from the school-complain to LEA.

morethanpotatoprints · 14/07/2014 17:27

Hi OP

Yes, I would take her myself and make an official complaint to the LEA, a HT or teacher should not be doing this.

phantomnamechanger · 14/07/2014 18:20

this is outrageous behaviour from the head (and just plain odd from the teacher)
they have a duty to ensure your child has the best possible transition, and that means letting them attend the transition events! I have never heard of favouritism like this before.

Icimoi · 14/07/2014 18:47

I suspect the teacher today was genuinely joking. She may well sympathise with you.

I also suspect the school will say the two day induction at the other school was educational, whereas going to a show isn't.

woodlands01 · 14/07/2014 19:27

Any year 6 parents will tell you how many events there are ..................... they go on and on and on!!

I would forget the formal complaint business. From experience the LA will not accept a complaint until the school's complaints procedures have been followed. This normally means informal complaint then formal complaint through Head then governors etc. etc. Problem is when your child leaves the school you can no longer complain. No time for you!

gobbin · 14/07/2014 19:49

Pingufan this sounds eerily like one of our feeder primary Heads. Very difficult person to deal with, so we handle her as little as possible. She also wouldn't allow pupils in Yr5 and Yr6 to come to our show, when all the other feeders did. Big shame as it's the children that lose out.

Homebirthquestion · 14/07/2014 20:36

If you're worried about being fined for the holiday just withdraw her from the school roll the day before. Officially give up your place and state you're planning to home educate until she starts secondary school. Not sure there's much they could do about it!