To have let ds choose if he went to school today or not?

[Edenviolet]

Dh thinks I was BVU

Yesterday ds 1 (7) came out of school and was very very quiet, he said he was cold and was all shivery. Got in and he wanted a warm bath (he hates bathtime usually) then he sat on the chair with a blanket over him for two hours and wanted soup for dinner. He didn't seem himself at all and kept asking "will I be ok?"

He slept badly last night, had no temp but was restless and up and down a lot. He was snoring terribly too which he doesn't usually do.
When he woke up he said he didn't feel ill he just felt cold and unhappy. He got dressed for school but was tearful and said he didn't feel right.

I said to him he could choose if he felt well enough to go in, he spent ten mins thinking then said he would try to eat breakfast and see how he felt. He decided not to go.

Dh said its ridiculous I let a seven year old choose if he was going to school or not. Its not like this has happened before but ds really hasn't been himself.
Dh told ds he was disappointed in him which I thought was a bit mean.

I always ask all of mine if they feel well enough for school (not every morning, obviously!). Very rarely do they say they don't feel well enough to go.

Then again, staying at home is veeeery boring - no tv, xbox, etc and in bed with drinks and books (my idea of heaven ).

I don't think letting your DS decide ONCE that he wasn't fit will turn him into a school refuser...and your DH was an arse for telling him he was disappointed in him. Save that for real disappointments.

I hope you tell your DH that you're very disappointed in him for being so mean to your DS.
YANBU. Of course he shouldn't go to school in that condition.

I think even if your ds had said he would go in, you would have intervened and said "I don't think you're very well." Based on what you said. And your DH is a knob end.

YANBU
Being cold and quiet ARE symptoms in themselves that something isn't right. If he didn't feel like going he was also probably feeling very tired.
I would keep an eye on him. I wouldn't be surprised if he us coming up with something in the next few days

The other thing us that at 7yo they can't always verbalise how they feel. So you might not know that they feel dizzy for example, that their legs feel weak etc.

YADNBU, you know when he's not well.

Of course he should choose, its not like he's winging it or anything.
How on earth do we know how they feel, how ill or poorly they are.
We can only guess and let them decide if they are well enough.
If you have a bit of a drama llama or you know they have a tendency to put it on then that's different, but this doesn't sound the case with your ds.
Tell your dh to take a chill pill