To worry about DCs picking up very strong regional accent?

[honourinoneeye]

DH has been looking for a job near his elderly father for a while, and secured one last month. The in-laws live in an area that is pretty much synonymous with deprivation and poverty - their home and immediate area (street, estate) is lovely but the area as a whole is pretty dire.

I have been concerned about the effects living somewhere like this may have on children but one thing in particular I'm a bit worried about is the accent. It's very, very thick - even "well spoken" people have what I and most others would consider to be a broad accent.

At any rate, this week we have been in a premier inn to buy a house and find schools and get things sorted for September. My twins will be going into year 2 and their teacher 'mocked' my dd's accent - not nastily, but nonetheless it was there. I also noticed the TA spoke with a strong accent with numerous grammatical errors - "you was staying in a hotel?" complete with dropped 'h's'

I was a teacher pre DC and have worked in some very deprived schools but such an accent would undoubtedly hold people back, I really can't explain how strong it is! I don't mean I'm judging people for it (I do for the bad grammar) but just the same, I can't pretend I'd be happy about my children picking up such a thick accent and I do feel it would be detrimental to their future.

So - any ways around this?

As in 'Bouquet'

Its because your thread is titled 'AIBU to worry about DCs picking up very strong regional accent?' that people are judging you as being a bit up your own arse (in the politest way possible)

If your thread was titled 'AIBU to worry that my dc future teacher is making fun or her accent?' then we would all have come on and said ' of course you should simply look for another school', which of course is what I think you should do (for what its worth).

Its nothing to do with accent or regionalism, what was said to your dc is wrong.

You sound terrified about the move and I can understand that. I think accent may really be the least of your worries and you've just articulated badly what is just normal fear about a big move to somewhere you're not keen on going.

Wishing you well OP. I'm sure once you're there you'll find folk are a mix of good and bad like where you've come from. The accent will become normal, you'll make friends with the dreaded accent and you won't care and one day you'll come out with one of the local phrases you never thought you would (I know I've done it myself)

I've got a generic southern accent which has held on for over 25 years since leaving the area. I've not picked up much of the local accents of the places I've lived in since, one of which was quite strong. Apparently I'm posh. People can never identify where I'm from, which can be awkward when I'm asked where I'm from as that's not the area of my accent.

It's been annoying when I've been corrected on my pronunciation, when I haven't made an error, and millions more people will have my accent than the local one. If I'd picked up the strong accent when I first moved, I'd get a lot more flack than I do now. I struggled to understand people born within 5 miles of me as it was so strong and garbled.

Well Lah-di-Dah, as we like to say in Lancashire. Op, I am genuinely sorry if you and your children were made to feel uncomfortable but I have to say, I feel as if I have fallen asleep and woken up in the 19th century.

Maybe I am hopelessly naive or perhaps I have not read all your posts properly (although I have done my best) but I still do not understand how acquiring a local accent will be 'detrimental' to their life chances. Were you hoping they would marry into royalty?

My children grew up in London with one scottish and one northern parent. Our neighbours' children, same ages, coincidentally had one scottish and one northern (same area) parent. All 4 parents from similar social and educational background. The 4 children grew up on the same London street but have different accents. The reason? We corrected our children's grammar and pronunciation, our neighbours did not.
Btw I grew up near to Wigan. My parents never tolerated sloppy speech. We had local accents but a very toned down version. All my siblings (and cousins) are in respected, professional jobs - including some lawyers.

thegreylady is a wise woman indeed.

Forgot to say in some parts it's not a bucket - it's a f**ng bucket.

Interesting thread

My kids have lived in several different cities-London, Scotland, West Country and Wales-and seem to be able to turn off and on different accents.

I am a Londoner and have a Lahndahn accent for use with my family and a London accent for use with everyone else, dp is Posh (West Country technically), and at home my kids speak roughly RP.

I've lived all over the UK, and what do have, and I hate, is severe accent drift. I always think whoever I am speaking to must think I am taking the absolute piss of them . I try not to do it if I'm aware of it.

I come from Nottingham and my partner is the poshest man I have ever met. Number 1 DD speaks very nicely and number 2 used to sound like me but now she speaks without an accent. I know it made a difference to some of my employers but not so sure if it does any more. The sky business reporter has a broad accent which was initially universally hated but she is good at her job. Go with the flow is my advice

I waa brought up in Sheffield and live in the North East. I sound nowt like either of them pet.
My DC's talk proper posh like!

Op, I think you're getting a hard time on here. I am born and bred Yorkshire, in a small mining town, but moved around a bit in my early years only to return to yorkshire in my teens and then to the south. My accent wasn't 'yorkshire' to begin with but when I realised everyone else's was, in my impressionable teens, I sure did lay it on thick. Just to fit in. Hated it. Everyone took the piss, I became introverted and hardly spoke.
After moving south, 20 years ago, the yorkshire accent has naturally faded and I now have no recognisable accent.
I still get the mickey taken out of my 'unyorkshire' accent when I visit extended family up north. Getting called posh as soon as I open my mouth. I love my family but I don't visit much...

I would talk to your children about how others may perceive their accents and that it isn't a reflection on their personalities. Give it six months then move on if it doesn't improve!

"Dd was offered a lollipop by her teacher and asked for "one of those please" (an orange lollipop) - the teacher smirked and repeated in a high, precise little voice "one of THOES." "

Oh god. Oh god Oh god. (holds head, rolls around in anguish)
adults in places like this are really horrible to children who don't speak the same.
It's really not fair - the children can't help how they speak - they certainly have a lot to keep track of if you are also going to be actively working that they keep their accents that they have now. It's fucking miserable having people asking you about your butler all the time.
that's just teasing but it is a blatant licence to the kids (those who are that way inclined) to bully. (some children don't give a shit and just take everyone as they find them. the adults are never like that though)

there is nothing comparable in my experience in London or the south east. there is a far greater cultural mix everywhere. there isn't this violently policed hegemony.

Why do you have to live there?
can't you move somewhere nearish that is either a proper city, or somewhere more villagey?

I live in wigan (a nice part) and I don't have a strong wigan accent because I choose not to, just a lancs accent, some of my friends and family are very broad and have done very well career wise, don't worry about it but I agree that the teachers attitude towards your daughters accent was terrible.

"I aff fut go fut buzz"as my ds learnt to say when rushing off to catch the school bus.

Can I just make this really clear to everyone putting the boot into the OP:

1 - yes she is being a bit precious about the accent itself. and I don't really have all that much sympathy for that, at least not politically. It won't stop her children being lawyers to speak in a Wigan accent. But - I hesitate to admit this and only do so under cover of anonymity - when I am tired and pissed off, like today, I find certain prevalent (SE Estuarine where I am) accents really jarring and it reminds me of when I first got here and felt homesick. Just suddenly I wish fewer of the people around me spoke in that harsh whiny dipthongy way. It's indefensible, I know

2 - this is the bit I have a ton of sympathy with. the taking the mickey out of her dcs for speaking differently. It will pick and pick and pick and niggle and niggle and niggle and in the end they will have no confidence and will barely be able to speak at all. It is a really shit way to treat people who speak differently from you, especially children, and it is constant in some areas. It goes with an incredible nosiness about everything you are doing as well and can be really oppressive and really enforces a small c conservatism, it is a real pressure to conform that manifests in attention to every tiny detail. I bet you will find massive logo trauma here. I bet trainers are going to be an expensive nightmare.

OP, the people who are giving you a hard time have possibly never heard the accent you mean. Live somewhere else, near enough for dh to travel to work, but with a more general Lancashire accent. And definitely don't send your dc to that school (and tell them why not).

I just find it interesting that the OP titled her thread complaining about regional accent as she thinks that it will be detrimental to her children (essentially dissing the local accent), while at the same time complaining that others are dissing her and her children's accents. Pot and kettle? Well, yes, actually. Then she takes it one step further and says if someone moved into her old area with a different accent, nobody would tease them or judge them over it... after she's already made a few sweeping statements judging people with particular accents. Again, pot and kettle.

And I think I can safely say that I do have some inkling of accent issues, as I've been told at least once (often more times) a day for the last ten years or more "You're not from around here are you? Where are YOU from?" Oh, what I wouldn't give for a regional accent!! (But no, I won't do the Madonna thing and adopt one as that is beyond ridiculous!)

I agree that if the teacher /TA was taking the mickey, thats wrong but the accent seems to be an excuse - you say in your first post that the area is 'dire' and you come across as thinking that anyone living there - and sounding like they live there is beneath you somehow. Obviously if thats your view, and your entitled to that, but dont make it about the accent.

FWIW we lived in Bolton for 7 years. My grandad's family were all from Wigan. I never loved the local accent but never thought it would hold anyone back.

I'm originally from Wigan.

I'm picking up that you are moving to one of the rougher areas of Wigan.
The strongest accents usually come from the older folk, or the rougher folk.

You could move to the outskirts of Wigan, where the accent is far less broad and still only be 15/20 mins away.

PM me if you want any advice on the more desirable areas and schools.

To be honest I thought the Op was moving from a 'naice' area up North to a grotty one down south, at first. Then it became Wigan.
Truly it could be worse - they're great at Rugby and Orwell wrote a fantastic book about it that 'professionals' still haven't quite got a grasp of (over 60 years later!).

OP - don't be scared to move, it seems scary and yes 'people' will be physically closer to you when they interact, down South - it's so forced and generally people are scared (of reeking of poverty) and are afraid it's contagious. You have DH -well-spoken Lancs. The coolest, most seriously-taken speech is a well-spoken dialect.

Truly - you could end up in for example, in Reigate (once a lovely little market town since ruined through proximity to the M25 and 'incoming' Londoners) or Brighton ( the Same) or Lewes (the same) or Devon (creating more damage than money alone can create). Never mind the negative influences on dc - south: not enough money; sw: not enough 'land'.

Wigan looks increasingly like a good choice.

But you're (Southern?) English OP. Just do what every English / RP accented person does when they move out of the Home Counties and beat your kids every time they come out with some horrible crime against linguistics by speaking in a regional accent.

Seriously that's what I assumed Home Counties types must have to do when they suffer the misfortune of moving to the sticks because when I lived in Scotland I met so many Southerners whose children were born and bred in Scotland but never spoke with a Scottish accent. I hated that attitude. I'm not Scottish either but I would have no problem with my DC having Scottish accents if we had stayed there because for them it is their home.

As it is, they will likely have American accents, which is fine with me too. If you're in an area you should try to blend in and show respect for local norms. Otherwise why live there?

Hi op. Think you need to phone the primary and tell them your kids won't be coming.

I lived in Birmingham very happily until I realised that my feeling of discomfort was that every time I opened my mouth I felt like the bloody queen. I would never fit in. Plus too far from the sea ;)

So we moved. Kids had a slight accent when we did. Now they are UBER rp. Son went to a national sport thing and came back saying "I didn't realise how posh I spoke". He was rooming with a kid from Durham and had no clue what he was saying!!

So I. Get it.

Plus. Don't underestimate the urge kids have to want to be normal and fit in

If your children become lawyers or politicians they will spend a large stretch of time at university and will probably pick up an accent there.

Me and my brother grew up in the west country, neither of us had west country accents (even when you live in Devon it's quite socially unacceptable to have a west country accent) we both had neutral accents, we sounded like we came from southern England but people couldn't guess which part of southern England. My brother went to a posher university than me and consequently he talk with a definite plumy accent whereas I have kept my original neutral accent.

Socially unacceptable is a bit loaded