To worry about DCs picking up very strong regional accent?

[honourinoneeye]

DH has been looking for a job near his elderly father for a while, and secured one last month. The in-laws live in an area that is pretty much synonymous with deprivation and poverty - their home and immediate area (street, estate) is lovely but the area as a whole is pretty dire.

I have been concerned about the effects living somewhere like this may have on children but one thing in particular I'm a bit worried about is the accent. It's very, very thick - even "well spoken" people have what I and most others would consider to be a broad accent.

At any rate, this week we have been in a premier inn to buy a house and find schools and get things sorted for September. My twins will be going into year 2 and their teacher 'mocked' my dd's accent - not nastily, but nonetheless it was there. I also noticed the TA spoke with a strong accent with numerous grammatical errors - "you was staying in a hotel?" complete with dropped 'h's'

I was a teacher pre DC and have worked in some very deprived schools but such an accent would undoubtedly hold people back, I really can't explain how strong it is! I don't mean I'm judging people for it (I do for the bad grammar) but just the same, I can't pretend I'd be happy about my children picking up such a thick accent and I do feel it would be detrimental to their future.

So - any ways around this?

RP is referred to, loosely, as "unaccented English", to denote that there is no regional differentiation. Communication companies choose RP speakers because RP is neutral and has no negative connotations. I like the fact that no-one can form opinions about me, based on my accent. If they want to judge me, they have to listen to what I am saying, not how I say it!

I'm from the SE and live in the NE. I'm always being told I sound 'posh'. I like the accent here but I (secretly) don't want the DC to have it because of all the weird slang. For example, people here say 'telt' instead of told. Oh god it really annoys me.

DD, who is nearly 3 is already starting to get a northern accent even though she spends 99% of her time with me. She loves 'correcting' me too. 'No mummy, it's bath, not barrrth!'

You sound dreadful. Very hyacinth bucket.

Honestly, you're only worrying about this because YOU judge people by their accents. You're the architect of your own anxiety. And, FYI, there's nothing about having been a teacher that makes you not be a snob- some of the snobbinest people I know are teachers.

And I say this all in my very RP accent- which is a consequence of where I grew up and absolutely nothing to do with my worth as a person.

Accents - strong or otherwise - aren't a problem as long as the speaker's intelligible. It's the abuse of grammar that's the no no and schools should be insisting that teachers use the correct grammar even if they have an accent. Sorry puds(!) - I'm a scouser and have an accent which I've heard described as 'posh' but I have to agree with you - the current Liverpool accent is pretty dreadful

I think using received - or even conspicuous received pronunciation - has its disadvantages. It can sound posh/superior/unfriendly/standoffish - which may be how it came across in the primary school your children visited.

I know this because I speak 'nicely.' My mother told me off for sounding 'common' whenever I spoke like other kids at school. She would rather that I spoke 'proper English', than that I mixed in and made friends.

All children grow away from their parents. All children will be influenced by the peers.

It sounds as if you're frightened of change and of growth.

I read this post and thought instantly, "it has to be Bolton"! I'd feel the same but don't think there's much you can do about it. My accent is broadly Northern but not too strong but stood out as "posh" in Bolton. I've never lived there but family do.

Depends on what the accent is surely? Some are really quite nice and others are like nails down a blackboard.

Honour - maybe I am misinterpreting what you're saying. Or maybe I'm just like many of the other PPs who have said that you come across as judgemental. You certainly seem to believe that the accent of the area you're due to move to will be detrimental to your children's future careers, which in itself says a lot about you/how you want your children to be brought up.

I don't think there's anything wrong necessarily with you wanting your children to have a more neutral accent - that's your prerogative after all - but some of the comments you've made here about regional accents don't paint you in the best light. If you go into your move with this attitude, it's going to be so tough for all of you.

Out of interest, were there any teachers at the school who didn't have the local accent? I grew up in an area with a relatively strong local accent, but at every stage in school there was someone who sounded different. Accents didn't necessarily result in bullying. The children you met may have been curious - though the teaching staff shouldn't have been rude.

You honestly sound awful.

Of course other people will ask where you're from - that's just polite when you meet new people moving to the area. Perhaps you're misunderstanding the accent to the extent that you're seeing offence where there is none?

Equally, you sound like you WANT people to be nasty about your accent, probably because you don't really want to move and this is giving you a reason to object.

I don't think you do sound dreadful, sadly some local accents are seen as suitable for comedians, think Peter Kay.

If your children don't adopt the accent I suspect they will be bullied as teenagers.
Personally I found it difficult to modify my accent as an adult without sounding false, think Hyacinth Bucket/Margaret Thatcher.
However it does have the advantage of setting people at ease in formal situations.
Perhaps your DC will find it easier to modify their accent as they have had years of speaking with a more neutral accent.
I think you have reason to be concerned but its not really a strong enough reason to not move nearer to FIL

I am not snobbish - my comments about working as a teacher were intended to state that I am used to working in areas of social deprivation and even by those standards, the accent is strong.

No, the teachers should not have been rude, you're quite right. Marianne, my children weren't remotely standoffish, neither was I. Judging by accent goes both ways, and it does seem to be "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

It just isn't a very pleasant position to be in.

DH has a Lancashire accent, always has. It isn't about regional accent but as with most things, the extent of those accents and the extent of the grammar I suppose.

I am frightened of change, of course I am. I am frightened of moving miles and miles away where I know no one and where people haven't been particularly pleasant, but hey, that's life!

Bilingualism: one for school/playing out and one for home.

My mother dinned RP into me, but survival dictated a degree of adaptation on the streets and in the playground. I can still slide from one to the other.

I have a thick Northern Lancashire accent, DP is well spoken with a scouse twang (posh part of liverpool) and his dd is only young but has a full on scouse accent from her mum

I'm currently trying to teach her 'Lancashire...

I reserve the right to sound awful when someone shouts in my two year olds face 'where's THAT voice from' and makes him cry.

I don't mean talked loudly. I mean shouted, right in his face.

I'm a tad worn down, I think.

Oh. My. Freaking expletive. Regional accents, no matter where they are from, are brilliant. Dear gracious woman - was the only part of equality and not labelling dc just some theoretical model you only applied to get a box ticked when you were a teacher? The teacher/TA probably picked up on your 'me better than you' vibe and beat you to it - coz real people are pretty bright you know.

1. English as a 2nd Language kids often excel - so you can speak 'your' version of English at home.

1. Give your kids free reign on picking up the local accent - they won't be so different then.

1. Try and take the edge off 'your' accent when out n' bout. You might learn a bit and maybe even like the blooody place and hopefully some of 'those' locals might even like you.

I grew up in the north east and my DGM worked very hard to make sure that none of her DM and DGC developed a strong regional accent - constant correction on pronunciation and zero tolerance of local slang. She was a Geordie herself but a well- spoken one - as a result none of us have a strong accent and mine is unidentifiable to most people. So it can be done, if you're bloody-minded enough - and ok with the fact that your kids will be (at best) teased for sounding "posh".

Accents are a mixed blessing, tbh. A lot of people love them, and they don't necessarily have to hold you back. But it can be helpful to at least turn it down in certain situations.

My DDs have 3 accents. Kinda could be British or maybe American, genuine Chilean and chilean struggling to speak a second language. That last one is just for school and now that most of their classmates have mastered an American TV accent it only comes out in certain classes.

There is nothing you can do to stop a child adapting to their surroundings and peer group, and you shouldn't try to.

As for a way around it, the only thing you can do is not move to a place that has an accent you don't want your DCs picking up.

I'm really surprised at the old fashioned attitudes towards accents here. Some people sound like they are from the 19th century. Northern accents are not some sort of handicap! And differences in pronunciation are not wrong. Saying "book-et" for 'bucket' is actually quite normal for millions and millions of Brits!

In any case, I would imagine that it would be unlikely for kids with parents from a different area to pick up the very strongest version of a local accent because there will be some influence from home. And for me grammar is a separate issue - I don't 'correct' my DDs' accent because mine isn't any more correct than there's but if they start to say, for eg, "come" instead of "came" or "them ones" instead of "those ones", I'd probably correct them. Admittedly there are some grey areas here though.

I think this is my problem, recharging, I don't really see why I should have to adapt or change myself because of other people's prejudices - pretty sure that if a local person (from here) moved to our current town and was treated with disdain because of how they spoke they'd get short shrift!

In any case, I don't think I can or want to do this move so I have much thinking to do.

Thanks for answers but please if people could stop replying to say how awful and horrible I am I would appreciate it.

Bucket pronounced 'book-it' isn't incorrect - just a pronunciation difference.

If you have an accent that means most people people born more than a few miles away can't understand you, then I would say your pronunciation should be called wrong.

Do you remember the Vauxhall advert where there are two boys speaking in some British regional accent? My mother was an English teacher whose first language is English, but she has never lived in the UK. She could not understand the "English" those boys were speaking. They would have understood her perfectly.

I hate my own accent (which I've never lost despite nearly 30 years in the UK) but I've never had a problem with anyone from any part of the UK not understanding me.

If you move to the North that your children will more than likely have Northern accents unless they are privately educated. My Children are pretty much accent-less despite living in the pits of hell as you describe the area we are from (around 10 miles from Wigan in a town mentioned above).

My accent is fairly mild as is the accent of many of my friends, but I can turn it on if I want to.

in any event I know many people with local accents who are Doctors, Solicitors etc. Hell a few were even allowed to attend Oxford and Cambridge.

Get over yourself or start saving for private school.

I would really hate my dc's to have a regional accent tbh. It's RP all the way for me! Just make sure you speak how you want them to at home and pick them up on it if you notice traces coming in....

I thought you were referring to Liverpool which is where I'm from and my son says I don't have a Liverpool accent and sound posh to him!
There are many variants of local dialect and some accents are stronger than others, even in the same city.
In my opinion, an accent doesn't define who you are as a person and let's face it, we all have our "phone voice" and I'm proud of where I come from, I just don't sound as "scouse" as my next door neighbour:)

What a ridiculous thread!

I feel far more sorry for your dc having a parent with such a narrow mind and strong prejudices than any accent they might pick up.

For what its worth I have a scouse accent and am a Senior Director. Our Chief Exec has a strong Yorkshire accent and Chair is from, wait for it, Wigan!

The only limits your children will have are those you seem to want to impose on them.

Get a grip OP, get to know the people you despise for dropping their 'h's, look past the dialect you loathe and you'll see that folk are pretty much the world over! Decent.

Or, you know sit in your ivory tower, clutching your pearls looking down on everyone and isolate your dc.

Your call.

I think OP you maybe somewhat misinterpreting people's attitudes possibly due to your own prejudice about accents? I'm absolutely not advocating people being mean or bullying others about accents but people 'quizzing you aggressively' honestly may just be people asking you about yourself.

Northerners can sound very brusque and direct so someone asking 'where you from?' to you may sound aggressive but to me sounds like a genuine question.

Just a thought.