I've just sent a horribly PA text to my children.

[AtYourCervix]

Along the lines of.... 'thanks for tidying up.... oh wait, you didn't'.

In my defence I am v tired, working nights and they are both doing nothing at all and haven't even washed up.

How the bloody hell do I make them actually do some housey stuff? Do I write lists every day?

Stop doing their shit. Laundry, beds etc.

Tempting. I don't do beds but laundry is a good one to start with.

I sent one of the dds a text thanks for putting the bin out I only had to ask you twice oh wait sarcasm is the only thing that works in my house or ranting like a loon it shouldn't have to be like that,

No reply from either yet.

How old are your kids? I'd go back to basics with a list of things that need doing with a named person responsible for doing it. Maybe with a tick box for them to indicate that it's been done. Be crystal clear about your expectations and what will happen if those expectations are not met.

I haven't a clue how to help, sorry, am lurking for tips!

I stopped washing clothes and if unacceptaple piles appear in the basket they do it themselves

Stop cooking for them. Or forget to do the food shopping? Or better still forget they want pocket money to go have fun

16 and 18. Both finished school. Nothing on until september.

I saw a great thing on Pinterest where a sign in the house said

"To get today's WiFi password, do the following:
*Hoover a room
*Do the dishes
*Put a load of laundry on
*Make me a cup of tea"

Might something like that work?

I'll do lists.

And stop washing.

And if things still don't get done? Turn off wifi?

I don't think sarcasm works esp on the lines "I have tidied up for you, again". They are just thinking "Good. So that's done then". Best if you can tackle it right away "Please take your bowls out. NOW" The NOW is because you will get a load of excuses as to why they can't.

My brother goes down the sarcasm route. They don't care that he comes home late after a full days work and sometimes after school meetings etc. He makes some sarky remark about the mess that is left (SIL quite oblivious). He has to clear the filth in the kitchen where they have spilled stuff from snacks and drinks before he cooks their meal. I have told him he needs to go on at then as soon as he gets home. Gets them to clear up just before he cooks etc. If I tell him to leave them to fend for themselves they really would make a mess and upstairs, his daughter is quite prepared to sleep on just a mattress if he can't get past the crap on her floor to change the sheets. Now I am really untidy, but last time I was there I took everything off their table and removed all the fag ash (courtesy of SIL) and cat hair. I also made a vain attempt at washing the floor and cleaning in the downstairs toilet.

The kids are both now teenage, so not little kids. I get cross for him but he has let it get like that but I don't think he gets much support either.

Ohh I really like the idea of changing the wifi password

I did a wifi password one on mine last summer when they were 13 and 15 (and 7 )
They were really unhappy. Never had a more popular pic go on FB, I was a legend with parent friends!

I do a list for my DH if there are certain things I want doing and I have asked and asked, I present him with the list. It seems to work.

I like the wi fi idea. Keeping that for future use (for the kids, not DH ).

"To get today's WiFi password, do the following:...

Oh, I like that!!

I bloody love that!

Are you Facebook friends? I am with DS, one afternoon he was sat on the sofa swigging orange juice (he was about 18 at the time) when I came back in to find him gone out and carton on sofa.
I posted this on his Facebook wall with the words "A helpful infographic for you'
His mates ribbed him all evening and he didn't do it again

Today's wifi password Bloody brilliant!!!

Mmm, no hints OP sorry but looking for ideas.

I wonder if a virgin superhub can change password easily??

Wifi won't work if they have phones. They can just get on the internet that way. I'd take away their phones as well if you're going to go that route.

If you leave them to do their own laundry, they will often just pull stuff out if the dirty basket and wear it. So I helpfully go in their rooms and tip the dregs of their cups into the basket so the clothes are unwearable until washing ( not ribena! Unless I am very cross). It also makes them more likely to bring their cups down.

Wifi password and sky box card works well here.

Wifi idea is awesome!

16 & 18. F##k that !

Cease all laundry henceforth.
Menu plan for the week and give them at least one evening meal each to cook for the family from scratch.
Wifi password for other daily/weekly chores and one off stuff like sort out old clothes for charity etc.
Yellow/red card system for common areas left like pigstys

Growing up [big family] we had a Master list of everything that needed doing at home on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. It was divided out among the whole family down to children U10. Personal or TV time didn't exist until it was done but because we had individual stuff to do, we could manage the timings ourselves.