To not want to go out on nights out with mum friends.

[bleurghblah]

since having my first little one I have been lucky enough to make lots of mum friends from different groups and have a wonderful and active social life for my little one, and have made some really lovely friends.

However, just off on maternity leave for the second time and other mums keep trying to arrange nights out or nights away.

How do I say nicely that I love spending time with them but if I am going to go out for a night it will be with my old friends who I never get to see anymore and that quite frankly, if I have spent all day on a play date with someone, I don't then want to go out for drinks with them as well. Is this just me? Am I being miserable and horrible as well as being unreasonable?

I've gone on a couple of mums night - very uncomfortable experience. I suppose it doesn't help that I don't drink & I'm the only single mum. In my experience the couple of times I got friendly with a mum my dd didn't get on with theirs.
Being an introvert I can only handle so much socialising.
Still very guilty about not going

I don't think YABU at all, and some of the replies on here are a bit much... I'm a natural introvert and find socialising completely exhausting, so prefer to spend the little free time I have with older friends that I know really well so it's not as mentally draining...

OP you're not being unreasonable, I completely understand where you're coming from! I have a similar situation only mine is with work colleagues rather than other mums and a couple in particular keep wanting to go out every week. My thinking is, if I had the spare time and the spare money (not to mention energy!) to be going out every week, it would be with my partner or my family or my actual friends, not colleagues I see every single day. So I'm afraid I have no real words of advice for you as I'm stuck in the same awkward position! But wanted to tell you I totally get where you're coming from.

Does it have to be all or nothing? Surely the odd night out doesn't stop you going to see long term friends?

"I think you should say 'I don't get enough time to spend with my old friends, let alone make new ones'." Do NOT say this. They would rightly say, "well, fuck you then."
You are allowed to have more than one set of friends. if you don't want to go, just say oh sorry I'm busy/skint/too tired. They will soon get the hint and stop asking. Then if you grow apart from your fun night time mates you will be pretty lonely.

I used to run a mother and toddler group and arranged nights out a few times a year because some of our mums never got out without their children. Some had no friends or babysitters other than their partners and it gave them an opportunity for adult conversation

This thread us from 2014!!!!!

I'm with witsender. Why does it have to be one or the other?

I manage to do both. Although 9/10 of our 'mum' nights out are nights in. Everyone brings a bottle and some cheese. Winner.

Old friends I see when we can both/all fit it in or is convenient for all parties.

Oh ffs

YANBU you want to keep in touch with old friends too.