to feel a bit annoyed about DP having a fag?

[passmethewineplease]

DO quite smoking over a year ago, he will on a rare occasion have one on a night out when he has had a few.

However he's just came in from the garden and he stinks, I knew straight away he had had one, AIBU in being a bit annoyed about it? He hasn't had a drink and doesn't usually do it.

I just feel it's a bit stupid as it is easy to become addicted again and how hard it is to break the habit, and he had done really well in just giving up.

Or am I being unreasonable?

I did but he can be quite a closed book, I can't really say anything more to him, I don't want to appear like I'm hassling him.

I've said my bit, ultimately it is his choice, I just hope he doesn't undo all his hard work.

in the past ive given up for 7 yrs , 2 yrs and 1 yr , but always go back at the first sign of stress , it is very hard to break the habit for good , he will give up when hes ready , if he wants .

It might be more helpful to ask him things rather than 'say your bit' - e.g. 'I've noticed you have started smoking again - how do you feel about that?' I realise though that some people do clam up or become evasive, especially when they are feeling a bit ashamed of themselves. The other risk with asking questions is that you may get answers you don't like.

To go right back to your OP, YANBU to feel annoyed but he was a smoker when you got together and ultimately it's his battle (it is a battle rather than a choice with any addiction). It's a lifelong one for a lot of people. Of course it's tempting to let him know exactly how pissed off you are but if disapproval worked there would be no smokers left.

Thanks plenty, I did ask why and his response was "dunno just thought I'd have one"

Mmm. I don't get the issue with someone who can not smoke for months and maybe have a packet and then go back to not smoking.
It's a horrid habit but most people have habits from having to go to the gym or obsessing about food or drinking too much or buying stuff.

I'd want to know the trigger to him starting again. That is likely to be more if an issue than the fags surely.

I did this stopped for 8 months. A couple when drinking,turned into an addiction again (but funnily I feel much better now, but thats another story)

I know how you feel though OP my DM has stopped for about 4 months and is having a crafty feg here and there. I wanna shake some sense into her but I can't mention it.

Reveal, I can't think what triggered it, he was jet washing the front at the time, his dad smokes maybe he just saw temptation? I don't know really.

The trigger will be nights out drinking. That's when the one or two creep in. From there it's just a slippery slope. If he's to be successful next time round he needs to sort out what he's going to do in that situation. He needs to be prepared for it.

Thanks plenty, I'll pass on that to him, he really doesn't go out often last time was in March on a stag weekend